Religion can eat it too.

This rant is WAY long overdue. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't harp on religion in my first rant, and in every single rant since.

Religion WAS necessary at a point in history - ancient, fucking, uncivilized history. Before there were societies like we established in the industrial revolution, religion was used as a form of governing. This was fine, even though religious leaders seldom didn't abuse their power, what with trying to convert societies far more adapt at survival then their own. But harping god was standard, and without the kind of INTELLIGENT civilization (and I say this with reluctance) that we have today, religion was free to rule as god and nobody knew better to question it. Of course, it was used to justify idiotic things, like wars, murder, rape, etc. Let the oppression bell ring!

Anyway, since we evolved and started learning how contrived and holed religion's standpoint is, we've seen an inception of disbelievers. And rightfully so. Religion has mainly acted now as an annoying censor, getting in the way of actual development by trying to enforce two fucking thousand year old principles on a modern society. Back in the 30s and before the de-moralization of the 70s which has been taken even more extreme now (and HUZZAH), the bulk of people were still fundamentally religious, and religion still had a thumping way of controlling things - basically it was "complain enough and have veil threats, and people will listen". For the most part, I'm referring to religion's innate hatred of basically every new technology ever invented since the industrial revolution.

But since civilization started more sophisticated government (see: Democracy that's actually democracy, not "USA fake democracy"), with policing and basically a law structure to administer justice and more clearly define what's acceptable and what's not (although some do have room for negioation, there's the principles that are very common), the need for censorship has virtually anulled itself. For the most part, censorship has been enforced by bible thumping crazies that hate to see something they don't approve of, so they take the standpoint "instead of NOT watching it ourselves, let's ruin it for everyone by trying to force it off mainstream!" This kind of insane oppression utterly destroys the hope of technological advancement, originality, creative thought, and most importantly, individualism. When you're trying to create something for entertainment purposes, having to deal endlessly with a moral code that you don't necessarily agree with and with the chance of some bible thumping lunatic to tell you that's "blasphemic" or "unmoral" or some other shit, basically restrains you from creating what could be a masterpiece - instead, you are forced to churn out the same repeated garbage to appease a minority of collared shirt Sundaymen.

With self-censorship in place and economic reality basically making the two work seamlessly, the need for religious censorship has basically come defunct. All religion can come up with is tired conventions that are 2000 years old and completely a step backwards in today's society. With economics controlling the world, religion is defunct in controlling society. So take the hint and fuck off - you're ruining it for people with actual talent and vision.

Mark

Not so angry... This angers me

So, if anyone's wondering why I haven't blogged in near a week, it's cause I haven't had anything to be enraged at. UNTIL NOW!

Last week, while reading my University's bullshit newspaper, I happened upon some opinion comments about the three main parties in Canada. Of course, each representative of the University's slave, I mean, free-spirited partisan hacks ranted about how great their various parties are and why we should all mindlessly join their cult.. I mean, party based on a one paragraph lie. If there's one thing I've learned about politicians, it's that they all suck.

But what gets me more is the bullshit these douchebags wrote. Instead of taking the time to say what their party is GOING to do, they just harped on what the other two parties DIDN'T do or did WRONG. Here's a clue, assface: Instead of saying what parties fail at, how about doing something different in politics for once, like telling the public WHAT your party stands for? Maybe if you stood up for something and made a promise, people would vote for your worthless candidate. Oh wait, if you say something concrete, you could be held accountable! Everyone in politics is so busy covering their own ass BEFORE they even can do anything... is it any wonder nothing ever gets done properly in any country's politics?

-Mark

Music is more important than you

"I realized something today - I like music. Music is great. If your thoughts go from 'what should I eat, to... I've failed everyone that's ever loved me', music is a great distration!" - Jon Stewart

Okay, I had to throw in a quote from Stewart, but that quote is more true than he thinks. Music is almost like a friend that will never let you down, as (in my opinion) it's the quickest access to push people's emotions. All it takes is a song that speaks to your mood at the time, and it instantly is like you're talking to a friend that understands how you feel. Music can help you "rock out", it can enhance happy moments...

But more importantly, it doesn't let you down, or leave you when you really need it - it's always right there, which is a quality that people don't have. I'm not saying people will always let you down, but there's just some times when nobody can be there when you need them, and that's when music helps.

For me, music acts as a calming agent - most specifically, Bloc Party's songs. When I get all wound up (or pissed off, sad, annoyed, etc), I throw on some Bloc, and I forget whatever's around me. It helps me space out for a few minutes, and clear my thoughts. I've never known any non-illegal or booze-related substance that helps alter your mind so freely. And we let it happen. This is a short rant, I know, but I really think music is the most persuasive medium (Film and TV come close, but music has an edge). After all, it's not like we get "shows" or "movies" stuck in our heads as much as songs or lyrics. And because the artists are real and not actors, music takes on a far more intimate identification with the listener - because it's like that artist understands. In TV and Film, the director, although they may identify with how you feel, you only view actors - and never put a concrete face to the opinions.

-Mark

The angriest rant of all

That's it people. I'm fucking tired of people dumping their problems on me over and over, the same problems, over and over, and NEVER FUCKING SOLVING IT. If these problems you're all having are so life-shatteringly devistating, make a fucking choice to either:

1: Do something about the fucking thing yourself; make a fucking choice for once
2: Live with it the way it is and shut the hell up.

Cause I'm so friggin uncaring towards everyone's problems now because no matter what advice they ask for from me, it's never carried through. If it was bad advice tell me, but if I'm making a point, then goddamn do it instead of padding your ego until you lose the balls to fucking change your life. Next time I have to hear the same shit come out of all your mouths, I'm going to make it so obvious that I don't give a shit you'll all hopefully get the point and shut up. You've had like 9000 chances to change your lives people - and if you're too chickenshit to make a decision by yourself then that's your goddamn problem. But life's way too fucking short to life in a shitty situation and never do dick about it. If you're not going to make a decision, or even make an effort to make a decision, shut the fuck up and live with your non-decision. Stop. Fucking. Complaining. To. Me. And. Do. Something.

Jesus titty-fucking christ people.

-Mark

Culture of Anti-Socialities

Okay, this is a hot topic of my mind, and it's actually unique for once.

I was thinking that society blows, which it does. Specifically, pop culture. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it's that virtually everyone you talk to you will claim to be unique in some way or other. While that's all good, and maybe true (but probably what people would say is total bullshit), alot of people find a way to separate themselves from society, in ways they are unique.

Society is faster and faster looking like a bad thing to be involved with, thanks in large part to popculture. What I've seen in the recent years is a general disdain for the moral dearth we experience, and blah blah blah "society is stupid/bad/I don't like it", etc etc, but it's the very thing that we say we don't like that we are part of.

It's becoming part of our society to hate our society. Maybe it's a Canadian "let's complain about everything" thing, but we've become the very thing we hate, and that's a society that hates society. We all say what we don't like about it, but we still go out and live it - after all, without it we'd never leave the house. Instead of instigating changes, we've merely accepted that society blows, but we're going to be a part of it because "everyone else is". Cult mentality, one of which virtually all of us are a part of. It's a small addition, but an addition nonetheless. If only we all knew that we can instigate change if we all knew we hated society.

Then again, gathering a society of people that hate society that want to change society to impose a society they would like seems kind of..... iroinc to me.

-Mark

Inconsistency

Despite the impression people may get from this blog, I'm actually an easy-going person in "reality".

However, that can sometimes result in me getting stepped all over. I, as I have ranted about in the past, do my best to be supportive, and etc etc. Alot of the times, I'll cancel plans for someone else, or switch my motives to hang out with someone. But what I really can't stand is when someone commits to me, and then decides to stand me up or do something else without notifying me. Emergencies I can understand (in retrospect), but I have a phone which is ALWAYS with me, it's not hard to leave me a message so I don't waste half my time waiting when I could be doing something more productive, in some instances, SLEEPING.

I have a busy schedule as it is, with 30 hours of class and two jobs (and possibly a third soon). It's just lucky for me that I don't sleep much more than 5-6 hours a night, sometimes 4, and recently, not sleeping for 62 hours in a row (not because I didn't want to). That extra time gives me a chance to use the midnight hours to catch up on all the things I'd usually do if I didn't have plans or work, but when people stand me up, I fuckin' hate it.

If I'm going to put the effort into seeing you, then the least you could do is tell me you can't make it or you'll be late - not just leaving without telling me. I'm a forgiving person since I'm too lazy to hold grudges, and I don't get expressively angry, because I don't want to say things I don't mean, plus I figure I'm bitter enough in my normal mood as it is. But just because I'm understanding doesn't give you the right to act like I won't give a shit if you keep standing me up - eventually I'll just stop caring, stop trying, then you won't have a person to talk to or hang out with. And then don't expect sympathy from me when you need something to talk about.

I'm not petty in the sense that I'll make plans with a person just to stand them up for revenge - that just makes you look like a bigger asshole - instead, avoiding the situation altogether keeps it from happening again. Then you're screwed. And if people think I have trouble cutting ties with people I know well, they're sadly mistaken. I refuse to be treated as a convienence person - the effort goes both ways.

That's all for now.

-Mark

Random crap

People, by which I mean, nobody, have been wondering what this stylistically inclined blogger may look like outside of his pimp-like profile picture.

Also, because I'm essentially a camwhore, here's two more pics of me. Guess which one is the best picture ever taken of me.


I dunno why, but I like this pic of me.


It just never gets old.

-Mark

Will power and the lack of it

I absolutely can't stand some parts of myself that are seemingly impossible to change.

For example: I do enjoy writing, although I don't do it that often, and usually I start things and never finish them. It's more of a passing interest, but I think visually, which is why writing can be difficult at times.

However, I've developed a innate skill I'll call "essay bullshit". I pale in comparison to my old roommate, who could pimp out mindless shit the night before and still rake in 80's. Essays are easy for me to write, and I can digress for pages and then find some backwards way to make it seem to connect to my original point.

But when my essays go awry, I am usually too lazy to fix it. It's not a big deal since the lowest grade I've got on an essay was 72, back in first year. My real problem is that I just don't give a shit about my own education enough to try to do well. I enjoy risking everything, for some reason this gives me a thrill that I could fail for being so damn lazy.

Example: Right now I SHOULD be doing a months worth of readings for a midterm in two days, but I'm going to go in cold and bs my way through it.

I wish I could stop, cause virtually everyone but the master himself (old roomie) says this'll bite me in the ass. This sentence works well as a transition to my actual point.

I hate it when people try and control others actions through repeated lectures. I'm not a dumbass, I heard you the first time - but it's obvious I don't care, and I've grown tired of telling people to piss off with lectures about how I go through life. If someone can't respect you and the decisions you make, and you've made it clear that you're not listening to them, they need to get over their complex and just accept you for who you are. At least it gives them the right to throw it back in your face if they ever prove themselves wrong. The point is, if I'm not at a stage in my life where I feel uncomfortable slackassing my way through my degree, why the hell is everyone bothering me about it? I mean, I get lectured from a friend that dropped out of college because she has deluded visions that everyone is attracted to her and that they will only pass her if she sleeps with them. Shouldn't you be focussing on how fucked you are instead of telling me I should try harder? Last time I checked, my marks are still high(er than yours), so shut up.

Wow, that rant got pretty personal. I'll keep it informal next time.

-Mark

I'm tired

Of having to hear how every disaster is an act of god, and how people surviving is a miracle. NO IT'S FUCKING NOT!!!

Look, I've got nothing against the people struggling in New Orleans, but if you were too retarded to leave that Waterworld 2: Kevin Costner free! set, then fuck, it's not a miracle that you managed to swim your ass down a flooded street or hole up in a 1X1 patch of land while eating a tin of beans until someone smarter then you rescued you. Why the fuck didn't you leave 3 days before it happened?

And the people that were stuck because they couldn't swim - HA! That's what you get for living there.

Douchebags.

-Mark

Generational problems

Okay, since I seem to be binge-angry right now, here's another rant - fresh for the masses.

I've noticed that one problem with our generation is that we're chronic liars. Now this isn't to say that the older generations or younger generations (probably too young, since I'm talking the 18-28 demographic here) don't lie, I'm just saying that our generation has become almost solely dependant on lies.

We seem to feel compelled to lie - either to cover up something, or just to make our lives more mysterious. One could be doing something totally pointless, and they'd tell others they were out shopping, when the reality is they were just hanging with a friend. I can't understand this. I'm typically a brutally honest person, usually painfully blunt as well.

Maybe it's that the older generations just don't trust us - it probably stems from feeling like we have to lie to make it seem like we're innocent. Fuck that, just tell the truth. If you lie, you're probably ashamed of your actions, or afraid of the consequences. I really don't care about the consequences of what I do, so I just tell people what I've done.

Creating a community of distrust has destroyed any kind of honesty one may ever have. Relationships are ruined between people over small things because it's just a lie that compounds, and compounds to save the lie. Why do people care so much about covering up?

People shouldn't have to feel like they have to lie to live the way they want. So many say they don't care what others think, but it's clear they do if they lie to everyone about what they do. If you really want to be who you're comfortable with, be it, and tell others that's who you are.

I hate it when people lie to me - it just makes me stop talking to them. So if anyone wonders why I'm not talking to them anymore - now you know. What really, really, pisses me off is when people lie in the sense that "well this person did that for me, so you should too". The reality is, they're just saying that to make it seem like you should, when it's just taking advantage of you.

That and when people say they'll be somewhere at a certain time knowing they won't. If you say you'll be back from wherever at noon, and you come back seven hours later... yeah, that's a lie too.

-Mark

The intArweb is not the place for self-discovery

I'm back, bitches.

I've been curising the intershnitzel for the first time in a week (damn classes filling my precious drinking time). And of course, I've found something that enrages me.

I'm tired of seeing all these stupid online personality quizzes that tell you the "kind" of person you are. The "you are a caring, generous, etc etc etc person" bullshit.

An example of the personality quiz BS.
A big WTF example. Lemons are enemies? This is the BS I'm really talking about.
You get the point. Moving on...

Here's a clue: THERE'S NO NEGATIVE ANSWERS. You could be a child rapist but you'd just be a "strong, silent type that prefers to read". Now for the most part it's just idiotic teens filling out this shit, but it's still a growing problem. These damn personality quizzes won't tell you anything you shouldn't already know, and if you're really that insecure that you have to broadcast to the world who you think you are, you've probably got no friends anyway. Or you're lying. Besides, those stupid things are so subjective that you could literally find any abstract way to relate yourself to something said in the blurb.

I just want to know why people keep using these. The internet is a place to kick back and relax, or surf, or whatever. If you want to find out who you are, go out and find it - don't rely on some jackass "you're a great person no matter what you pick" quiz. We are shaped by our actions, and trust me, there actually are bad people in the world - and you're one of them. Everyone is pretty terrible, when you think about it. Those quizzes are total BS and shouldn't be filled out by people looking to pat themselves on the back and broadcast "hey look! Take notice of me because I'm these things!"

Nobody gives a shit if the internet says you are. Go out and DO something to show us. You'll find out quickly how full of shit that was. You're not nice - you bitch about your petty shit that no one cares about, and when people tell you the truth that they don't care, you get pissed. Fuck you, you're not important, and your problems are stupid. And you'd realize this if you didn't fill out that shit to avoid the fact that your "friends" are right. You ARE stupid and worthless.

So stop using that shit and live life. Everyone's fake anyway, and you'll discover who you are more in a public setting then sitting on your ass in front of your computer.

-Mark

Complaining about Relationships

Here's some shit I've noticed (yes, I'm back) in my 20 years of pointless existence.

I'm really getting tired of hearing people bitch and bitch about "problems that never change". Or "people that treat me like shit". Here's the thing. The problems don't change because YOU don't actually do shit to change it. So many people are so dependant on the routine they've got used to, they fail to notice the minute alterations that happen as time passes. This is most obvious in relationships: At first everything is great, there's that euphoric stage where neither partner can do anything wrong - then slowly, one, or both start knowing the intracies of each other. That'd be the "comfort level".

The comfort level is probably the biggest cancer to relationships in the history of time. Might as well change the comfort to "take advantage of the other person", because that's when one person just starts acting like themself - which is something you DON'T want in a relationship. Well you DO, but it never happens that way. What it really boils down to is that you either want to control the person you're with, or you want to have the freedom to do whatever the hell you want and your partner just has to live with it. Both are bullshit.

The reason you're SUPPOSED to be with the other person is because they bring out the best in you, and vise versa - and you like seeing that in each other (I'm not talking about casual dating, more of a long-term thing). You're both giving up a little freedom to be with the other person - but the amount of joy you receive from being with said person is supposed to make up for it.

So many times, this doesn't happen. Someone gets walked all over, and the other person feels belittled or mistreated. Then some sorry-ass apology is supposed to make up for it? Bullshit. Accepting such a shit cop-out is really just telling the person that you're letting them do it again.

"But they make me happy sometimes." Bull.Fucking.Shit. They should be making you happy ALL the time, not walking over you and then doing something to make up for it. There shouldn't be a "oops, make-up" stage in relationships. Maybe once, but repeatedly? Hell no. I've often wondered why people bother giving second/third/fourth/infinite chances to their partner. The most one should EVER get is a second chance - cause yes, sometimes people change. But 95% of the time - no.

I don't care if you love this person or if you really dig them, the fact that anyone would stay in an unhappy relationship to me, shows weakness. Sitting around hoping or waiting for change will not make it happen - it takes two sides to change, and it'll never fucking happen if the unhappy side doesn't bring it up. Discussion and communication is key in relationships, and so many long-term relationships slowly lose that, or they never had it.

"They used to treat me so well." Who gives a shit what happened in the past? If it's cheating, then you get the FUCK out of that relationship. You're a douchebag for staying in the first place if that's the case. However, if it's a treatment, where one side was great, and now aren't, don't fucking stay silent. Again, focus on what's been happeninig in the recent times. If this is ongoing, and seemingly uncaused (if there's an outside factor, like a major sickness, or family issues, fine, but it's still not an excuse to treat your partner like shit), the abused partner needs to leave. Or address it at the very least. I'm so fucking sick of hearing people tell me the same shit over and over and over. Do something about it. I usually be my best to be supportive and lend advice when I can, but there's times where I just stop giving a shit, cause the person complaining doesn't make an effort to actually change anything.

"I don't deserve better." Bull.Fucking.Shit. You deserve to be treated the way you treat people. If you adore someone and they trash you, don't settle for it. Tell the bitch/jackass - if they don't change, fuck 'em. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should sit there and take all the shit they deal out all the time. And telling yourself you don't deserve better is just a cop-out, it's basically saying "I don't want to deal with the problem", or "It really doesn't bother me as much as I say it does."

Maybe it's just (in my observation), people are afraid to be alone. Yeah okay it sucks, trust me I know (single for awhile now), and it does get lonely, but the longer you stay in an unhappy relationship, the more chance you're letting yourself miss the person that would treat you right. They could just pass you by or fuck, you could know them already and they may find someone else - then you're REALLY fucked.

I just can't put my finger on why people do what they do to themselves in relationships. I for one, NEVER, EVER, do breaks. If someone I was with put me on a break, I'd get the fuck out - I have more self-respect than to be cast aside and then brought back when it's convienent for the other person. Fuck you - I'll move on, you piece of shit. This drags back to the "fear of being alone". Maybe it's just that some people have some self-depricating need to be with someone - fine, but you're really treating yourself like garbage when you let the person that put you on a break take you back. You shouldn't take their ass back - you only get one shot at relationships, and people don't realize this. Have some fucking self-respect!!! I can't stand hearing how person X took back their girlfriend/boyfriend after a break - do you honestly think that the pain you just went through can be forgotten? If a break happens, just pick up your shit and walk away. Yeah, it hurts alot, but at least you wouldn't have to live with the fact that they did that to you and you took their worthless ass back. Move on, find someone new. If you're a female, it's really not that hard to find another guy. If you're a guy, prepare to put effort in again.

Overall, I'm just tired of having to listen to people bitch and moan they're unhappy, and then see nothing happen to rectify it. If you're really as unhappy as you say you are, do something other than bitch to me. Yeah, I can be there for support (what are friends for but support, good times, and to poke fun?), but eventually, if all I hear is complaints and I never see a change, I'll stop caring.

I'm done for now - but shit, I had to get that off my mind. HAVE SELF-RESPECT, PEOPLE!!

-Mark

For the 4 people.

That actually read my blog - no, I haven't given up, I'm still filled with irrational hate for random societal things. Problem is, I've been in and out of the doctor's office for the last two weeks, so the dome is kind of like the gas chambers right now - eeriely quiet, awaiting the next set of people thinking they're having "showers".

Good show. Had to throw in a holocaust ref there just to keep people enraged.

-Mark

Oil companies and alternative fuel

Let's all face facts: The oil companies have us by the balls. In a sense, it was a work of genius on their part to not compete with each other and decide collectively to just all charge basically the same amount of money. Everyone is screwed, and nobody's willing to give up driving unless they absolutely can't afford it. (People like me can just BARELY afford to drive). But since gas here in Canada topped the $1.00/litre mark, I've said enough. Since then, and it's been nearly a month, I've only got gas twice. Once at 106, and just a few hours ago at a ridiculous 128.

Now, here's my question. Where is the justification in raising the gas prices 22 cents overnight, which happened a few days ago? It takes approximately 40 days for the oil to come from the ground to be refined, mixed, etc etc etc to gas in the pumps, so explain to me how they know that it'll be "harder" in 40 days to find the oil?

I mean, how many times do oil companies have to grab and twist until the public says that's enough? I mean, the chance that they'll price themselves out of the market is unlikely since it's the only source available. And the government doesn't do anything to encourage other fule sources since they make sweet coin off of taxes.

But all it'll take is one brass-balled entrepuener to develop an alternative fuel source, and if they could just get it to work with modern engines - it wouldn't even have to be fuel effeceint at first, as long as it works out to being cheaper in the same distance.

Here's my suggestion, and it's been said 4 billion times by like six people, and nobody seems to care or listen, and they really should. WATER, bitches!

Let's see: Renewable? Yes. Bountiful? Yes. Easy to extract from the ground? Just ask New Orleans. Cleaner burning? Likely.

Water covers 70% of the ground, making it retardedly plentiful and easy to access for fuel use. Besides, this has the potential to solve global warming at the same time: Given the amount of oil used, transfer that to water and multiply it by 2, or 3, or 4 if you really want to. So even at 25% effeciency of oil, there's still about 100X the amount. And let's say, for example, that it pollutes the same amount, still adding to global warming: Who gives a shit? It's water, so even if those start melting, it's just creating more fuel. The answer? More consumption. Since the fumes released would be cleaner than oil (try drinking oil over water and see if you don't die), it'd just go into the air, clouds, and huzzah! The cycle of re-creating fuel begins.

Instead of killing mother nature, why don't we work with it until Katrina finds some friends and the Polar Ice Caps kill us all? We're trying to avoid making flop movie Waterworld come true, but so far we're making Kevin Costner look like a profit instead of a terrible actor. But I digress.

In summation: Water = Solution. Oil companies = Rich whores screwing the consumer.

Stealth: The Movie That Should Be Tossed into a Volanco

I recently sat down and subjected myself to 2 hours of visual torture - I watched Stealth.

Don't get me wrong - this COULD have been a good movie. Instead, for the first ten minutes we are greeted by ongoing explosions. Anyone with half a brain knew what we were in store for by the time the three pilots landed back on the ship. But it gets even better: We meet the characters, who are as predictable and stereotypical as ever: A black pilot named Henry Purcell (played by Jamiee Foxx) that listens to his "old-school" culture music while mixing in rap culture and of course: He's a womanizer. The other male pilot, Lt. Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas) is your tpyical "plays by his own rules" character, who takes idiotic risks and blatantly ignores his Captain's orders more than once. He's also a womanizer, because we wouldn't want originality in these characters. But there's a saving grace of predictability! If it's a team of three, and we've got a male minority, and a chauvinist male squadron leader. . . we need a female! But not just any female - she's got to be the stable, bookworm type that never does anything against regulation and never steps out of line. This character is named Kara Wade (Jessica Biel).

Of course, the audience is told the "plot": There's a new crewmember, but it's an experimental AI. Only Ben raises an objection to this, saying that war shouldn't be mechanical - the only thing I agreed with him on in the whole movie. Regardless, on the first flyout with "Eddie" the Robot pilot, they get put on an emergency mission to bomb a terrorist building.

All goes well, and then on the way back, lightning strikes Eddie, and his wiring goes haywire. What a shocking surprise. Eddie starts thinking differently, becomes obsessed with some encrypted file that doesn't exist, and on the next mission, goes insane and disobeys orders. When the three crewmembers try and stop him, everything "exciting" (see: Predictable) happens. Henry tries to take down Eddie, but instead crashes into a mountain. And while Kara is flying through that, debris catches her plane and eventually, her wing rips off, forcing her to eject and land.... in none other than North Korea. How delightfully convienent for more explosive action sequences!

Ben then is instructed to bring back the insane war mongering robot plane, which results in the explosion of a fuel blimp in one of the most gag-enducing scenes in the movie since the beginning of time. Shortly after, Eddie and Ben engage in a dogfight with two Russian fighter planes, and shoot them down. That's the last we hear about the Russians. I suppose The Russian government doesn't mind two unannounced American jets shooting down their fighter jets in Russian No-Fly Zones?

As if this movie wasn't bad enough, director Rob Cohen pushes a romance subplot in the middle of this. Ben, the chauvinist, 'loves' Kara, the good girl. And of course, she's willing to risk it all for him. Excuse me while I gag again, but that just seems too Pearl Harbour for my tastes.

I won't ruin the entire movie and tell you how it ends, but 10/1 odds you could guess without ever watching it and you would probably be right. There's more plotholes, such as why a robot plane would need music, why nobody has to face the consequences of blowing up buildings, or attacking North Korea AND Russia without explanation.

The special effects in Stealth are decent. But they are used in such cliche ways it makes it unbearable to watch. And the amount of handheld camera shots make the attempt at suspence and discomfort seem like a mockery. It also completely ruins one fight scene, where the camera shakes and pans so much the viewer can't see what's going on at all.

It seems like Rob Cohen has ran out of creative juice since The Skulls in 2000. Since then he's thrown out mindless action flicks, and Stealth is no exception. All in all, any attempt at a moral point is lost in the weak characters, terrible plot, and numerous holes. If you like feeling your IQ drop during the course of the movie, then by all means see this immediately. Otherwise, you'd get more intellectual stimulation from watching the Red Shirts die in Star Trek: TOS.

-Mark

Once again

I realized my life is a spinning web of lies. I frequently forget this, so it's like a kick to the junk everytime that realization comes back.

Just thought to let you know. At least everyone lives in their own personal lies - to themselves, telling themselves they're happy. Nobody's really happy - just not sad.

-Mark

Hey, America, do this

As a Canadian, I feel it is my duty to tell American to fix their election douchebaggery. Now it's too late to solve the last 8 years (including the years we haven't lived yet), but you can make up for it in one shot:

Click here for your 2008 Presidential Solution

-Mark

Ctrl-V

Everyone do it in the comments.

Mine:

Peter - "Our way of life is puritanism touched by orgy. French Canadians' way of life is one of orgy touched by puritanism" says:
i almost entered a grape stomping competition yesterday
Mark - One shitty season down, Sudbury to come says:
because you wanted to further destroy the shattered dignity humanity holds on to?

Classic. Your turn.

-Mark

Dear Emo Girl: Shut up.

I stumbled upon this crime of the internet today.

Since when did people feel webspace was for cluttering up with their utterly pointless, pointless lives? This is an especially bad case, where she literally tells everyone everything she damn well did. Including 11 dollars.

I mean, not only was I infatuated with how terrible it was, I was astonished someone could actually lead a life so uninteresting and still find time to bore the rest of the people that read it. Literally, some of the things written are so ridiculously uninteresting, it's hard to properly channel my rant here.. Examples:

"At least I had a good cry session twice yesterday. Was sick of people yelling. We didn't do anything at Angela and Eric's wedding so I was free to roam. Went outside and stayed away from everyone. Go anti-socialness."

"First period- was boring, we did presentations for our POW's. I think my group passed. Who knows? Found out Starr and I have a lot in common and that Chaz eats icky Power Bars.
Second period- still did nothing."

"Ack! School is sooooo stressful. I just wanted to choke a biotch. And I swear, if one more person asks if I'm going to go out with David again or if I like Julian there will be hell to pay! Do these people not understand that I have a boyfriend, whom I'm very in love with? Hmm? Do they? Apparently not. Stupid people!!"

I'll spare you all the rest of the crap, cause anyone telling people each period of their 10TH GRADE CLASSES clearly needs a life and actual friends.

I continue to read that crap because I want to laugh when her and her douchebag boyfriend split up. Yeah, that's some real "love" you had there. Of course, chances are she'll die of longwindedness before that happens.

Keeping you educated. Luckily, I've left her some handy tips on how to improve what is otherwise an internet black hole of pointlessness.

-Mark

MSN titles of file murder

I love comparing deleting files to history's greatest tragedies.

Read:

Justin says:
i think it might be time for an mp3 culling.

Justin says:
but what tragedy to name it?

Mark - Fuck it says:
Morpandy

Justin says:
mp3 hiroshima?

Justin says:
it is the anniversary, after all

Mark - Fuck it says:
Pearl Mp3

Mark - Fuck it says:
Mp3 Harbour - the day that will live in the Recycle Bin

Justin says:
hehe

Justin says:
mp3-nam

Justin says:
operation: iraqi freedom

Mark - Fuck it says:
mp3 hiroshima would be if you delete them ALL

Justin says:
hehe, true

Mark - Fuck it says:
Irap3

Justin says:
lol

Justin says:
operation mp3-freedom?
Justin says:
im doing this to liberate hard drive space

Mark - Fuck it says:
we have some insurgency in the folder known as mp3, there's a known terrorist called All American Rejects, we've got to take him down

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
support the troops, bitches

Mark - Fuck it says:
there will be civilian causalities

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
hahahahaha

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
shit, i think some of the mp4s went to hide in the caves

Mark - Fuck it says:
We're gonna smoke em out

Cause obviously, deleting mp3s is comparable to what the states did to the middle east.

-Mark

LiveJournal "friends"

I'm sorry people, but if you have a LiveJournal account, you're getting slammed by me. However, the plus side is, if you have a LiveJournal account, you're probably too full of shit to read what I say, or you'll just be like "He doesn't understand what it's like to be" (at this point I've stopped listening and giving a shit).

Anyway, if you have "Friends" on your livejournal account, unless you know them in PERSON and are actually FRIENDS with them, they're not actually friends... having a bunch of internet losers that are obsessed with this cult mentality is bullshit. LiveJournal is NOT a place to claim your popularity. In fact, LiveJournal itself is almost fucking pointless, unless you're going to make fun of other idiots who have delusional visages of thinking others care about their worthless lives.

MAKE REAL FRIENDS - Internet ones don't count. You're not popular if you never leave your room. You're not popular if you don't actually know real people. Social interaction may be bullshit, but it's better than faking it.

Idiots.

-Mark

Life advice from some guy I know

.....but most of you don't. Actually, probably all of you don't know him. Anyways, while talking about avoiding conversations that you don't care about, he dropped this gem:

Justin --> "you know what really grinds my gears? when you can't find the droids you're looking for!" says:
rules:
1. everybody sucks
2. everybody lies
3. nobody gives a shit

So true. Thank you, demi-god of conversational avoidance!

-Mark

Don't enroll at UWO

So my fucking University cancelled the class I set my entire goddamn schedule around. I'd go on about how pissed off I am, but I think just pasting this email would more accurately describe how pissed off I am.

------
Fuckers cancelled one of my classes WITHOUT fucking notifying me. One I was enrolled in. AND IT WAS THE BEST FUCKING CLASS I HAD. Now I'm 0.5 credits short, and my schedule is FUCKED. This is fucking horseshit. I might as fucking well drop out for all I care now. Fucking University pieces of shit can fucking go and fuck themselves. They've fucking charged me for a full year and then they fucking drop a fucking course. These fucktards have no fucking soul. My schedule was pisspoor as it was first sem, now it's gonna get fucking worse. I set my fucking schedule up around this fucking course and the assholes fucking fuck me like a fucking fuckpile of fucking fuckers. I fucking hate this shithole University.

Mark
------

Yeah, I'm fucking pissed off.

-Mark

A plague that must be stopped

It's time I warned the faithful readers (all three of them) of a deadly plague that is crushing the inner souls of most people under 40 - and it's called Soft Rock.

Stores will pump this crap out while the youthful people that are essentially faceless lackeys in a heartless world have to suffer this for hours and hours. Literally, this kind of non-offensive, non-talented, non-lyrically unique, pointless music that causes many University students to hate where they work is killing any creativity that could be used.

For example: Someone could have a genius idea to solve world hunger, but that idea is sucked away by the fact that the shitty "Soft Rock" that rants about loving some assbag or leaving some assbag enrages them - resulting in the genius with the idea to NOT want to help the world when all it'll turn out is that crap.

Either that, or the idea becomes lost from the mind-numbing effect that music has. I am a firm believer that this music literally kills a part of you inside, taking away what makes us human. As youthful individuals that the world endlessly says they will to become the next leaders and decision makers, why would you destroy what makes us hopeful for a non-bleak future when you hear basically one song played on repeat, sung by different people that STILL sound the same?

I hearby raise that the University and College students with any talent or hope for the future, or with an idea to progress the world, to band together and ransack any building that plays that crap.

Violence is the only solution now - we've gone beyond the stage of negioating for rationality.

STOP THE PLAGUE BEFORE IT DESTROYS THE HUMAN INSIDE YOU!

-Mark, leading the anti-soft-rock charge.

This is "news"

A few links to chew around and wonder why we care.

Yeah.... um, wtf? Who's guilty about not reading history books in the summer?


You've got to be kidding me. "Oh no, my source of income will run out! I'll only have my millions of dollars to fall back on!"


Dunno what to say about this. Except: So?


Wow. If you get that pissed about an email error over a book, you need to get laid.


Desparate is right. It's a fucking book. (Yes, I'm harping on HP alot, but fuck off, people are douches).


Am I the only one tired of these stupid health news articles that shoot down something 99% have never tried and would never give a shit enough TO try? Here's the answer: Wanna live longer? Don't die young. Asshats. Sidenote: Like how they spelled "Aging" wrong in the headline?

-Mark (and yes, the picture is Carlos Mencia from his new show on Comedy Central).

Microsoft hates its own products, and me, apparently

Okay, I'm not a fan of Microsoft's immeasureable evil and plague of shitty products that infect the internet and our operating systems, slowly destroying our morals, souls, and anything else that Microsoft can take from us and exploit, all the while making backdoor deals to keep us in endless pain when we operate our computers. That's the baseline that we're starting on, people. I have done many things to make my shitty OS (Windows ME, which took me 2 years to get working with minimal kinks) work well, and it's still bitchy from time to time, thanks mainly to Microsoft hating the patches and fixes other people make because they're tired of dealing with the Blue Screen of Death 400 times a day.

I've wanted to boycott Microsoft shit many times, but unfortunately I can't negate myself to 5% of the computer world, so I choose to hate (outspokenly) certain products that blow incomprehenseable chunks. Like Internet Explorer, which I ditched almost in its entirety for Firefox when IE stopped loading buttons, links, and took 400 hours to download anything, when it decided it was going to download shit, or load Quicktime, or basically even load my fucking homepage. I've dealt with everything that can go wrong in that shitty ass program, like the about:blank error, endless virus attacks, and IE's crack addiction that nearly spread to my RAM. Turns out my motherboard was the dealer. Anyway, I digress. The point was, I stopped using IE for Firefox.

However, I'm binded by the horrors that is MSN Messenger. I'd use AIM (I have AIM, but I'm not on it frequently) instead, but switching from Microsoft to AOL is like slicing your wrists with a knife instead of a razorblade. It hurts, and it's a slow bleed that you can't stop. Also, the thought of slicing my wrists makes we want to pass out, so let's move on. I also have Yahoo IM, but fuck that shit. I might as well just reload ICQ on my computer and talk to absolutely nobody, because nobody uses useless shit programs that nobody else is ever on. It pains me to say this, but sadly, MSN Messenger is the best chatting program out there as of right now. But that's like finding a penny in a pile of horseshit after searching for hours - it's not something you go and tell your friends about.

Well, as I eventually get to my point, I was using MSN 7.0.0777, whatever the fuck that version that is. There's a new one out, 7.0.0813 and 7.0.0816, which after much procrastinating, I finally decided to take a stab at. I'd patched 0777 to my liking, which meant MSN Messenger without any trace of MSN. Well, it updated..... kind of. After telling me I needed IE 6.0, which I already had (solely for the purpose of having 0777), I tried running some other patches and programs to get around the fact that Microsoft apparently refuses to recognize it's own sister programs on the same computer. I got a "we've added all our useless shit you'll never use" updated 7.0.0813, and I promptly tried to patch it. However, the patch I was using was meant for 7.0.0816, so I either had to live with the useless added shit 7.0.0813 or find 0816, which I set off to do. I found 0816 on MSN.com (link removed because I hate Microsoft and would never encourage anyone to go there), and Dled it. Tried to install it and got a nice "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message. This seemed to be more persistant than the other, so I decided I'd simply return to 0777 and live with the patch I had that I knew worked. After all, I wasn't having any problems with it.

WELL, Microsoft then apparently turned it's hate on itself, giving me the "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message, even though I'd already used 0777 on my computer, as recently as 5 minutes before trying to update. Well I then made the mistake of uninstalling MSN altogether and trying to start over. No dice, same message. So I decided to try and update to 6.0........again. That didn't take either.

By now, my blood had risen a few degrees in temperature. I had experienced Microsoft pointlessly not updating it's own products and demanding to update to them endlessly, but I got pissed and COMPLETELY DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. This was a small moral victory for me, as I was not sad to see it leave my computer. However, it was short lived as I need MSN to contact all my people (I don't own a cell phone, because I also hate phones.... but soon I will be forced to own one, if I ever want to escape this place and live free), etc etc etc. So I tried getting 6.0 from scratch. No dice. 400 restarts later, I once again DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. (It feels so good to write that). After pissing around, exchanging punches with my keyboard (which I'm surprised is still working.... I beat on this mother like nothing else, and it just keeps working. Gotta love it), this is how I got back to where I fucking started:

1: Tried installing an old messenger version (6.2)
2: That took, but then it turns out Microsoft doesn't want people using their products to actually get anywhere, so they wouldn't let me sign in without updating.
3: Deleted MSN 6.2
4: Found an old version of IE (5.5)
5: Installed IE 5.5
6: Attempted to update to 6.0, which for some reason actually happened this time.
7: Downloaded 7.0.0777, and installed it.
8: Saw all the useless shit, ran messpatch and cleaned it up.

That took about 15 minutes. All in all, I wasted about an hour and a half getting absolutely fucking nowhere. So after all my annoyances with MSN, it seems it has bested me until I lose my mind and firebomb MSN corporate offices (see: Newspaper headline August 2006: Crazed University Student Frees Humanity from Microsoft's Oppression, Gets 4 hookers to celebrate), but I have since decided this:

I'm never updating microsoft products again until I ABSOLUTELY have to (eg: It stops working because it's too old (a la 6.2)), or until I get a new computer. Which will never happen, because I love Sexlexia, even though it's an abusive relationship.

In summation: Microsoft blows, send them letters filled with locusts or semen or something else unpleasant.

-Mark

Sellouts

So I went and saw War of the Worlds last week, and I was actually fairly impressed with it. The story wasn't all that different, although there was some key changes about the invasion of aliens that was cool. However, it's come to my attention that Steven Speilberg has no fucking CLUE how to end a movie.

Sure, there was things I loved in the movie - like the lasers that turned people into dust, and the scene where it was raining clothes. Gold. And the special effects were very well done, but then it's like he just didn't know how to end the movie, or how shitty human warfare would defeat an obviously superior force..... so he shat himself and decided that they just "died". He tried to throw together a nonsensical explanation a la Morgan Freeman's narration, which actually had the word "micro" in it, which either meant the aliens died via bacteria, or that humans were micro and won via the aliens "forgetting" to turn on their shields or some other nonsensical bullshit.

And that fucking kid DIED. You can't just have him run into an explosion, disappear for the rest of the movie and have him randomly appear at the end alive and fine and there before the main character and his daughter. He's DEAD... half the fucking army he ran after died, but he survived with no protective clothing (not that it would have helped anyway), no weapons, and no transportation? Bullshit, he's dead.

Steven Spielberg can make good movies (Jaws, but that was 30 years ago), but when you forget how to end a movie or end it without a climax, it really ruins the whole thing.

I'd rate the movie in stars, but fuck that shit - watch it yourself, nobody gives a shit what I rate the movie out of. I still recommend watching it, just be prepared to be pissed at the end of it.

-Mark

Underage drinking is not a problem

Underaged drinking is not a problem, people. If a minor or an 18 year old wants to get into clubs/bars/or just get booze, chances are they'll find a way. Fake IDs are apparently not hard to find, especially if you have an older sibling of the same gender, but I don't understand why people get so upset about this.

Yeah, some 16 year old may be trashed - yes, they don't know their own limits, and will probably do something stupid - but hell, we've ALL gone through that stage as kids. What the real concern is keeping your douchebag underagers from drinking and DRIVING. That's a far more serious problem. A bunch of minors drinking at some party in a basement or backyard is nothing to be pissed about, especially since usually they're just having a good time and that's that - nobody's endangered unless someone drinks too much (fuck em, lowering the population anyway). But if they get behind a wheel intoxicated they endanger far more people. Parents, if you want to control your dumbass kid, let the idiot drink, just drop them off at the party and pick them up when you damn feel like it. Whenever I'm out to get trashed, I take my bicycle or a cab. It's simple.

So next time your kid is going out and you think they're getting hammed, just fucking tell them you don't care, as long as they don't drive. Shit, there's more important things in the world to worry about.

-Mark

This is just stupid

Now it's been awhile since I blogged, but I've been a strangely good mood (also known as an ego trip) for the last few weeks. However, it couldn't last forever until the media buggered it. This article states that some 80 year old KKK member just got sentenced to 3 consecutive 20 year sentences for manslaughter committed back in 1960.

This just seems redundant and pointless to me. Let's say for example, he manages to live through one of his 20 year sentences - he's now 100 and fucking useless to everyone, but there's not a goddamn chance in HELL he's living to 140 years old to survive his sentence.

Now I'm definitely not an advocate for capital punishment (It depends on the crime, in my opinion), but sending an 80 year old to prison for 60 years is obviously a waste of taxpayers money. Why not just either hire one guy to watch over him or have him under house arrest? It's not like he's capable of doing anything anymore. Or hell, just kill the old bastard. It's not like he gave a damn while being a racist prick in the 60's.

-Mark

Open your ears, jackass

I'm back after another week-long delay. I've been playing alot of baseball which makes my blogging schedule inconsistent. If you don't like it, eat me, or send me money and I'll post more often.

Anyways, now I'm back ranting about people who DON'T GODDAMN LISTEN. I'm not referring to people who PURPOSELY don't listen, like for example: Person X is talking to Person Y about something pointless, and aren't getting the hint about shutting up. Person Y responds with "Yeah", "Okay", "Uh huh", "Yup", Any varition of 'yes', or my personal favourite, "Oh yeah, well, you gotta!"

I'm not talking about that. Although Person X should get the hint we don't care.

I'm talking about when someone is giving you USEFUL information about something you MAY or ARE interested in, like a time of an event, news that effects them, or something else. Having no life, I wouldn't know what people are interested in. But once again, today I go to watch the Blue Jays game, to which I see the TV which is ALWAYS on and my family is ALWAYS watching something (I hardly watch TV.. somewhere along the lines of 0 hours a week, except for baseball maybe once a week if I'm around). I know my family likes the Blue Jays, so I go to them and INFORM them with the following transcript:

Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "THE GAME IS ON IN 20 MINUTES."

At this point I just walked away - I'm not wasting my breath again. And it's not like they couldn't hear me the first three times, since I was maybe 10 feet away. I could give up one, since they have the TV loud enough to vibrate the damn floor (On The Report on Business Channel, no less... which I have been informed they don't even LISTEN to, they read the ticker at the bottom..... WHY DO YOU NEED SOUND THEN??), but if you're not going to listen, then fuck if I'm going to repeat it. Normally when I leave my room it's either to: Get food, Leave the House, or Go the Bathroom. So if I'm actually going to SAY something it's usually relevant.

And granted I don't particularly speak clearly, but I blame that on my English heritage. Have you ever heard those people talk? I was doomed from the start (and no, I don't have an accent - only one in my family without it). But jebus, it's not that hard to hear something when you're doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALL DAY.

Another thing I hate that's related. When they say "What?" then when you repeat it, they friggin cut you off half way through! Screw you, if you don't care, don't ask for me to repeat it! Or when they ask me a stupid assed question and criticize me when I give a short, consice answer (sorry for being effecient, jackass). If my day was "uneventful", then that means NOTHING NOTEWORTHY HAPPENED. I'm not going to say "Well at lunch I went to the lunch room and open the wrapper of my hamburger, which was wrapped 4 times over, and I had the toppings of blah blah blah." Why? Cause it's not NOTEWORTHY.

Also while I'm at it, I friggin HATE it people start pressuring me to do things in my life. If I'm faced with a situation outside of the "nucleus" of this family that I'm really not part of, they start ENDLESSLY giving me HORRIFIC advice over what to do. I've had situations where someone borrowed something from me and I needed it back by a certain date, which didn't happen, so they start telling me to call, and call, and do this, do that, until finally I get the "gem" of advice about contacting my professor (it was a class book) about why this person has my book and how I can't get it back. So let me get this straight: Being a whiney bitch to my prof about my FRIEND not getting my book back (which I did, in time for the exam too), will solve ANYTHING. What stupid horseshit.. why do I live with idiots?

-Mark

You'd think so, wouldn't you.

Okay, after a week-long delay + 3 days for my drinking binge (I turned 20 on May 28), I have returned! Missed me? Of course not.

So I've got this Audio Visual job for the Canadian Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences. The Congress is some 10 day thing they're holding on my University campus where people present REALLY boring shit (I had to sit in one of the conferences to make sure the machine was working fine and the presenter was talking about FONTS for an hour... FONTS??? COME ON!!! Who gives a shit where Times New Roman came from?) Anyway, there's 24 man staff of A/V techies (myself being one of them) and we're posted in some of the buildings and have to hook stuff up for the delegates if they booked things like computers, video projectors, etc etc. It's really the easiest job I've ever had.. I worked from 7-3 today and After 10:15 I literally did nothing. In fact, I fell asleep for awhile).

Anyways, while I can't complain about that, what I WILL complain about is the bus passes. All of the delegates get a complimentary bus pass for the all routes for the 10 days, but the friggin' employees don't. Come ON, we WORK for you, you can't spring to give us the damn passes? I have to get up at 5:30 AM for this job, and at that point I'm far too incoherent to find 2.50 for the bus, or 5 bucks if I don't feel like walking home (which I don't, ever.. too far). Hell, it's a miracle I remember to wear pants before walking out the door. So why not give us a damn bus pass? It's not like the University doesn't have mad stacks of cash already, since they are a campus of 40K students and they only need about 2K to break even each year... but they can give these damn delegates a bus pass? Horseshit! I have to get to work, and apart from eating all your food while I'm there, I don't wanna spend money (I actually just take the food, since it's on tables everywhere).

Luckily for me, I know a guy who knows a guy (who thought I'd ever use that phrase?) and he was handing out the bus passes, so I got one. Take THAT, whoever decided against giving staff bus passes!

-Mark.

Do You Realize?

Y'know what really pisses me off? People with douchebag MSN names. I can understand people bitching about something that happened in their life (and putting like "person X is a douchetard") or being frustrated at something and going off in caps-locked swearing fests... I'm not talking about that, those are great. I'm also not talking about how people will put amusing quotes or just their name, those are sensical and sometimes comical.

I'm talking about the douches that put shit like "I love my idiotic boyfriend/girlfriend/famous person/band/barbeque grill/etc". Nobody gives a shit who you love or why, don't clutter up my precious MSN viewage with crap I don't care about. Obviously the world should bow down to my every demands anyway, so stop this plague of caring and affection for inaminate objects already.

Moving along. I also hate when people put song lyrics in their name - jebus, I've done it one or two times but at least my lyrics made absolutely no sense. Course, I even hated my own lack of originality when I did it. But seriously. I don't want to read some shit that NOBODY understands... And if I'm being contradictory, it's because you're too stupid to see my minute difference.

Bottom line: When you use MSN, don't give me something heartwarming unless I actually care about you (and I care about so few people), don't give me song lyrics because I'll block you, and HAVE AN INTERESTING OR AMUSING NAME!!!

Jackasses.

-Mark

Life sucks

Just in case you forgot.

-Mark

Myspace = electronic garbage

So I'm back with yet another rant from hell. This time, I will break down the "phenom" that is MSN Myspace.

What the hell is up with everyone "wanting" or "needing" to get a "myspace" so they can tell all their idiot friends about their crappy lives and their mundane, megar, useless daily activities ("well today I got up and had a piece of toast"... so what?). Even if they say anything mildly interesting, don't show me pictures of you doing nothing. I'll get back to this in a moment.

However, I'd probably hate Myspace less if it wasn't affiliated with Microsoft. MSN/Microsoft has a knack for turning everything they create into a buggy POS, and failing that, something destructively monopolizing or child-killingly evil. Now yes this is hypocritical of me since I use Windows ME, possibly the worst system Microsoft has ever created, but I've learned it's throws and with the helpful patches from people who also hate but won't update, and some technical lerndening (I spelt that wrong on purpose), I've actually got this bitch running smoothly. Anyway, Microsoft's "let's ID with the teens and youthful money-irresponsible idiots" Myspace is just yet another attempt to create a monopoly, of..free..space. Hey, I don't have to explain my unfounded hatred and irrational disgust with MSN. It's bad enough I use their Messenger because it's the "best" instant messaging program, but once again, I patched the hell out of it to destroy any traces of Microsoft "helpfulness" (the search bar, ads, logos, stupid winks and nudges... GONE).

Anyways, in short: Myspace sucks, don't be a fanboy/fangirl and waste my ocular superiority by having me read your crap.

-Mark

Odd...

Now this is kind of off topic from my usual rants, but do you ever get in a ridiculously foul mood where you hate everything and are on the brink of snapping and killing everyone you know in a violent bloodlust when something totally random just catches you off guard?

It happened to me this morning. I couldn't sleep, so I ended up getting 3 hours all night.. well I was taking a vitamin in the morning, opened the medicine cabinet, and found.... amongst the clutter, an empty Dr. Pepper can. Not at the front, either.. it was mixed in the middle. Apparently in my sleep deprivated state sometime last night I must have drank one, and put it in there for some reason.. but I don't remember doing it or why it was there.

Needless to say, it really threw me off and was quite odd.

-Mark, a bit perplexed

Rage Against the Stupidity

Back to harping all over Peter's refute of my point about the NDP's being bags of douches. Specifically, Layton.

Okay, so I'll start this blog out by admitting I was in fact, wrong about the NDP governing control. They have two positions of power in Manitoba and some other province.

Now, to point out Peter's bullshit. You know damn well that if the roles were reversed and the Conservatives were the smaller opposition, you'd throw up how the Conservatives wouldn't be able to change from their "mistake" of the early 90's in Ontario. (Which the NDP f**ked up). Does Layton want this government to work? Probably, but he'd be a hell of a lot happier if the Liberals sided with him. If it was a Conservative minority, Layton would definitely vote against "ONE" mistake.

Why should the public let 2 BILLION dollars slide? One mistake by the Liberals? Bullshit! Gun scandal, Sponsorship scandal, piss-poor management of funds, Paul Martin was the goddamn MINISTER OF FINANCE when Cretien was in power and he let this shit slide. Now he's the damn PM, that's a massive "X" to put beside his name.

But Layton only has one reason for wanting this government to work "together". First of all, if the Liberals bugger themselves over, over an ISSUE of MONEY SPENDING, something the NDPs are notorius for doing freely, while the Conservatives are typically tightass about that, chances are the public will go for the Conservative government. Layton wants the Liberals to stay in power because he has the most leeway with them. If the Liberals go down, Layton rides that train to hell with them. When the most power you have is 24-ish seats (I'd figure it out, but it's definitely no more then that.. possibly less), obviously you realize that if your opposite spectrum party could get MAJORITY control, you're buggered if you don't throw your support behind the controlling party.

Do I think Harper would do a good job? Hell no, the Conservatives would do a piss-poor job. Eves and Harris ruined the Conserve's for me with their idiotic amalgamation BS of the mid-90's. Martin sucks at being PM, that's for damn sure. Layton I am confident would ruin this country with his moronic spending habits that his party is KNOWN for and HAVEN'T changed over since the damn of the party. That leaves the Green party. Here's hoping they score a seat in the next election, so at parties start freaking out realizing that people are starting to hate the big 3.

Refute that!!

-Mark

How I feel

And it's how you all feel too when you're the nice guy that gets SCREWED. Click.

I didn't get screwed, I guess, but sometimes when you put effort into things and end up with nothing, this is how I feel.

-Mark

Time to argue

Oho, finally, a blog WORTH posting about. Actually it's my friend's (Peter's Randomness) blog, but finally something we can argue on (although we basically argue about everything - a consistent friendship is good to have). In his blog post in the link, which is viewable by clicking here, he rants about how Steven Harper can't identify with the Eastern Canadian vote and why Jack Layton is some sort of god.

Course, he's wrong. I'm not a fan of Harper nor will I vote for the douchebag, so we'll get this out of the way already. I'm actually what I call a "vote thrower", someone who will likely always vote for a party that has no chance to win - it's my right to vote, and I will excercise that right by going out and throwing my vote away since every party in the history of time sucks. I just hate hearing "if you don't vote you can't complain", well shut the fuck up, that's what I'm going to do. Anyways, back on topic.

Layton's a moron. In fact, all NDP party members are. We'll review the last time the NDP got in power (since they've never even been the official opposition party federally, I'm going to provincial levels). Bob Rae had a minority government in Ontario back in the late 80's early 90's (sometime around then), and he completely fucked up the province by going spend-crazy. After he blew all of the money the province had on idiotic programs (that failed, btw), he then issued a MANDATORY, UNPAID day off once per month. Anyone struggling to get by was hence further screwed. When you make minimum wage or can barely get by, losing a day of work could be your end. Multiply that by 12, and you've lost nearly 300-500 dollars a year. And you're going to let a government with that kind of money problems into power FEDERALLY? Don't give me that minority gov't BS, cause Rae had a minority gov't and still pulled this shit.

Now Harper's problem with Eastern votes. If you look at the Conservatives' past, they haven't ever really got much Eastern support. You could easily spin that around on Layton's NDP and say they don't reach out to the Western Canadians, which has always been a fragile region since the Confederation. Quebec's got its own problems with the Bloc being insane seperatists (remember the Referendum, and how Quebec wanted to be independent but still keep our currency and all that crap? Yeah, um, not happening). While that fisselled briefly under Cretien, Martin's crapulence lead them back up. Still, they aren't the Official Opposition, so they get a big pile of shut up and a bag of "if you leave you're more fucked then if you stay" to take home. Canada's always bent over backwards for the French-Canadians, and they routinely complain (the politicians, at least).

Are the Liberals any better? Hell no. But let's at least wait until the commish finishes their investigation. All I'm hoping from the inevitable election is that the Green party gains more power, and hopefully at least one seat.

That is all. Refute away, Peter.

-Mark

Comedy through manipulation

So, in my ever sarcastic asshole-ish ways, I get back from two brutal exams (one where I wrote 20 pages in 3 hours. That was sick.) and go on to my occasional chat place when I have nothing better to do (Flash Flash Revolution - not what it seems). Of course, I've been carousing on that site for the better half of two years so the regulars know who I am. Usually I'm on my webcam, but this night I decided to go against showing people my glorius self.

Course, within two minutes, I've got a bunch of horny idiots asking me if I'm a girl. I don't know how you take the SN "Jazzmosis" and assume it's a girl, but I was pissed, so I decided to fuck with their minds. I called myself a 20/f/Canada (the only difference being that I'm male), and that my camera was "broken", hence why I couldn't show them who I was. This is how easy it is to get idiotic guys to tell you inner secrets. They asked what I looked like, so I googled some random picture of a girl who looks about 20. (Girl's picture: Here). Course I got a flood of compliments, so I began to act like a chick (overuse of emoticons, telling these ass-bags I thought they were sweet when they said "ur hot" and acting like I was "turned on" when they said "I wanna fuck you so bad right now". Apparently all it takes is a random lie about a girl masturbating three times in one day and these morons are ready to jerk to every word you put in front of them. While acting like I was impressed while assbag #1 lied about his age (started at 21, went to 17 by the end) and his apparent size (8"... sure), I acted like the girl every pathetic loser that goes to a video chat looking to pick up chicks that are way out of their league could ever dream of. I was, of course, single, horny, had the perfect body (I called myself with a C cup and 105 pounds), and I got "hot" when a guy told me he was jerking to that apparent picture of the "girl of his dreams" while in reality he was actually talking to a 20 year old male that was laughing at him and spreading all the stupid shit around to his friends at the same time so we could all laugh. By the end of it, we had about the entire chat in on this prank... but here's where it gets better. The idiot "wanted to stay in touch", but since I didn't have "MSN" I gave him my AOL (making up a lie about why my name was masculine - because I was a hot chick that loved sports, thus had the name "Jays" in it (I'm a Blue Jay fan, so that's at least justified). But he wanted to hear my voice, so he GAVE ME HIS NUMBER.

What the hell is wrong with today's youth? All it takes to be a stalker is a googled picture of some girl and a ton of lies about how you get turned on by pathetic losers in a chat?

In closing, while I laughed endlessly with everyone else about how losery this guy was (my name was "Kate" in the chat, if you're wondering), I have to apologize to the girl who's picture I ripped off.. some loser will be jerking to you for awhile imagining the words a 20/m said, posing as you. Still, I apologize only to the point where I'd still go back and do it again just to laugh at him. So really, it's your fault for putting your picture on the internet. Should have known that eventually, a jackass like me would randomly find it and use your face as an object to laugh. Hey, at least your face is funny, right?

-Mark, aka "Kate"

There's only two emotions we need

Let's face it: Happiness is only a cover-up for the pain we all feel. Humans are so caught up in what happened to them that makes us sad that we become obsessed with it. Good, most of the idiots deserve to feel sad - let's face it, as humanity goes on, we've proved how useless and destructive we really are. What DO we have to be happy about?

Here's the problem: We have this "spectrum" of human emotion (thank you, Donnie Darko: You can't just lump things into two categories and deny everything else - life isn't that simple!) that screws with how we act and think. Not that rational thought is a good thing, we usually screw ourselves more (which is sometimes amusing). Anyways, I say abandon the "positive" emotions like happiness, love, caring, kindness - bah, those are useless. We only need these:

1: Anger. When we're angry we don't think straight but we show who we really are - selfish pricks that would throw a homeless man in front of an old lady crossing the street just so they'd both get hit by the car that's running the red light. Anger fuels our desire to say to our friends that they're idiots and we'd rip out their hearts and drink the blood of their children if we had the chance. Anger lowers the human population numbers, and that's a good thing. The last thing we need is more of our idiot kind running around.

2: Pain. Not physical pain, that deep, emotional pain that takes years to heal and causes people to become paranoid shizophrenics that murder buses filled with innocent schoolchildren or firebomb senior citizen's homes. This always leads to public anger, which leads to bad blood.. ah, glorius.

And although it's not an emotion, this is key to humanity: Sarcasm.

Mark

Open Book is for Ass-packers

Although many people like open book exams, I think they're a crock of shit. And here's why:

With open book exams (University sense, not HS) any assbag can walk in and refer shit from the course regardless of whether they showed up to class. Open book allows people to not actually know jackshit from the course and still have a chance to pass.

Meanwhile, the people that actually show up and do the readings and all that shit are basically even. Sure, they'll probably do better because they're not douchebags like book-fucktards, but the fact that they could potentially get a similiar mark to the morons who didn't show piss me off.

Finally, and this is the clincher: The profs get all shitfucked about referring shit from the book. If you know the shit, you don't need exact text example FOR AN EXAM WITH QUESTIONS YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW BEFOREHAND!!!!

FUCK!!!!!!!!

-Mark

Being different = Not being noticed

Back to my anger inspired rant. Looks like I'm going to indulge in slamming fads.

They're pretty much everywhere, and where it's most obvious is in the highschool/college asspackers. Sure 14-17 year olds do that whole "emo" bullshit, but that can be written off because they're fucking idiots at that age. It takes someone to beat them over the head with a rusty propane tank before they realize everything they think and feel is:

1: Wrong
2: Irrelevant
3: Not worth talking about
4: Not something only they have felt

But they're stupid, so that's a waste of time to tell them. No, what I'm really getting at here is the fad-boys and girls that are around the 18-24 bracket. We all know them.. wearing the bullshit clothes, those stupid Ugg boots, and talk like a hack. Wearing your hat sideways doesn't make you cool or a rebel. You look like a fucktard with mental problems.

Don't get me wrong, I'm all about the badassery, but let's face it: Actively dressing like you're trying to impress a bunch of people who are equally as stupid as you isn't going to do it. Talking about stupid shit like what some fuckhead did won't do it either.

IF you want to be independant, be your goddamn self. Don't give a shit what people think about you or if you fit into any fucking "clique" or "bracket". Fuck them, they're stupid. Just do your thing, wear what you want. And finally, and this is important, realize these things:

1: Don't do it to get noticed
2: You're not independent; you are a faceless plug society doesn't need.
3: No one will care if you die.
4: No one should care if you die.
5: Consider your death population control. You're helping the world!

Go in peace, assheads.

-Mark

The Pope Sounds Like Dracula

Tonight, I will ramble again. Actually, no I won't. I started this 30 minutes ago and now I can't be assed to write the rest.

I exist, too

I absolutely hate it when I do something, or nothing, and a family member comes to me and says "you have to pay for this" or "you have to do this now". First of all, it's usually unrelated to what I've done previously. For example, here's the latest annoyance:

I went out at 3PM to see Sin City, came back at 6:15. Around 9PM my sister "informs" me I have to pay for her cat staying overnight at the vet cause she couldn't take the truck (cause I had it out). First of fucking all, I didn't eve KNOW her cat was at the vet. If I had been INFORMED of this the day before, I'd have taken the buses around to the theatre. You can't blame me for using a mode of transportation that I'm entitled to as much as she is to go and do something when you happened to have needed it but never told me. It's not like I'm a total asshole and would have taken it just so you couldn't. In short, I'm not paying for her cat's stay at the vet when I didn't know.

Second: Just seconds before she drops that ridiculous bomb, she "informs" me that she's going to "need" me to pay for some of her cat's stay at the vet because it's going to clean out half her savings. She's got more fucking money then I do already, so what part of that demand (they never ask; they always demand I do whatever) makes sense? It's not my cat, and I can't afford it. Yes I like the cat and I care for my sister, but there's a limit to what I can do. I don't have a job (school purposes) but I will soon, but I'm financially screwed beyond human belief. Those are just two little things.

However, I just woke up and opened my door to hear her on the phone talking on the phone to my father about both the aforementioned situations. This totally and utterly screws me because her and my dad will easily side against me. So now I'm going to be yelled at, threatened (with losing the Jeep, to which I say, fine.. fuck it), and basically told it's entirely my fault I didn't know and that my sister can't afford the bill. Not that my dad can either, he's got a Jeep and a house to pay off while he continues to blow 400 dollars on a distiller when the one we had worked fine already (that's a different story).

So here's my thing. I'm going to be treated like shit for the next few days, although I'm already doing these jackasses a favour by driving them around. I have to pick up my dad tonight because he's too fucking lazy to take the bus from the train station, my sister is going to bitch at me about money I owe her that I don't, I can guarantee my dad will say "well then you can't drive the truck" at least once, even though I'm actually the safest driver in the house (my dad can't drive). Course, I'm picking him up cause he called me after he left the house and said "I need you to do this on Saturday". Thanks for telling me before you left. He actually avoided me and talked to my roommate about what he was planning to do and told him "Well Mark better not make plans then." WTF?

I exist, too, fucktards!

-Mark

I've always wondered...

...why people get annoyed at me that I don't try in University and still get good marks (70's). They all work their asses off, freak out about deadlines... work... meanwhile, I don't do any of my readings, and I write my essays just before they're due, while spending the night with friends or watching movies or doing something stupid. And they always get annoyed/jealous at me. Why?

It's not my fault I'm a genius.

-Mark

Footnote: I'm being lighthearted. If you don't get it, then you're stupid!

Does any politics work?

I'm just wondering, because it seems no matter where I look, every single political group sucks. I support a fringe group in Canada (loosely) called the Green party, who's main focus is environmentalism. They're on the rise, but still haven't won a seat in parliment (I think at any level) yet. Anyway, that's a bit off topic.

I see the current government and see that it blows. A huge majority of Liberal at the provincal level here, and they've F****d Ontario over royally with some really dumbass decisions, while raising the defecit from 2 billion to 6 billion. Bravo, fuckers. And now they can't blame the conservatives.

That's the problem. Most majority governments are idiots and don't think about the better good of the people that elected them.

Here's my pitch for minority governments: While it's unstable, in order for anything to get done they have to WORK TOGETHER and get a balance of opinions. Course, when they are the opposition the thought of working with each other seems similiar to killing a baby or an orphan performing surgery, so we don't expect miracles. But what the hell is so wrong with different opinions working out a compromise?

Bah, this is why I'm barely political.

-Mark

0 + "Fat" + Any Product = Instant Healthy Food

Okay, I'm back, and I've got a new trick, Magical Mark is slick, ten times as slick as the last time you read him.

Anywho, the genius of weebls-stuff.com aside, I'm here to yell the crap out of something new: Labels on food.

Now while you may think I'm just talking out my ass (which I frequently do), this time I actually have knowledge of the subject at hand. While stuffing my face with Tostitos nachos, I noticed on the label it said "0 trans-fat", boasting it as if it was some sort of newfangled formula of health awareness they were trying to whore to self-health-conscious consumers.

Here's a newsflash: I don't eat Tostitos because I'm trying to be healthy, I eat them cause they taste good, and damn the side-effects. If someone was serious about eating healthy, they wouldn't even walk down the chip isle, since there's nothing healthy there... ever. And the fact that I buy Tostitos all the time and this is the first time I've ever noticed the label really points out the fact that I'm not actively looking for 0 trans-fat foods.

Moving away from that, I'd just like to point out that Nachos WOULDN'T have Trans-fat, since trans-fat only comes from ANIMALS (Humans included). Vegetables cannot have trans-fat, so obviously there wouldn't be any in Nachos. It's just some plug-ass marketing tool heartless corporations are taking advantage of during this "health craze" (although it's a sham, but that's another rant), where if people see the word "fat" and "0" beside it, they'll instantly assume it's good. How many people even KNEW what trans-fat was before I said it was only in animals? That's what I thought.

It just pisses me off when corporations throw any old label that makes them appear health conscious when in reality they're just twisting the words around. It's like saying that a carrot is good for you because it doesn't have mad-cow disease. Well no shit!

-Mark

Doin's Transpiring, Theatre-Style

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with this, but what the hell, I'll just stat ranting. We've established in earlier blogs that anyone born post 1988 is a moron, but now I've come to have a comical experience while back visiting friends in my old town. A group of us were discussing where to go after we'd just come out of a movie theatre (after watching Constantine). Now this is where my post-88-moronic theory is confirmed. A bunch of punk 15 year olds (at best) were walking down the sidewalk of the plaza, towards us, being jackasses like usual. Naturally, since my friends and I don't care, we ignored them.

However, when they got closer to where we were standing, this stupid jerkoff kid (there was about 8.. 4 girls, 4 guys) starts hopping around one of my friends with his fists bared - as if he was going to fight us (totally unprovoked). Now before I get into what happened after this, let me tell you that he was about 5'4, 100 pounds, while my friend is 6'2, 190. I'm 6'0, 145, and the second smallest of my friends (except the girls with me, who were all smaller.). However, both myself and my other friend (who is 6'2, 160ish) have formal Karate training, and are middle-ranked belts. Anyways...

...So this stupid kid was, presumedly, trying to impress his girly-friends by attempting to fight us. While he's hopping around like a jackass, totally open for any strike I could make, his friends are saying "Jeff, Jeff, don't. . .". Which I can only assume they were trying to get him away from us, since well.. if he fought us, he was f*cked. Regardless, I just stared at this kid. He backed off, and we walked away (hooray for non-confrontation - it wasn't that I wouldn't own this punkass, I just didn't want to beat the shit out of him in a public place). So it appeared like it was disaster averted.

Not so much. My friends and I piled in my Jeep, and we were just leaving the parking lot, when we passed by them again. This time, some other jackass moron kid (not the same "Jeff"), stops dead on the end of the sidewalk and just stares at us as we drive. I dunno what his complex was, but it really looked like he was challenging me. . . while I was in a 2 ton truck. Now I don't care who you're trying to impress, but if you're 5'5 and 15, you do NOT stand in the way of a moving, two ton truck. You will not win that fight. Ever. I thought about steering at him to see how much balls he really had, but thought better of it (since I don't wanna get blood on my truck's hood). Being the bigger man (despite really wanting to take these idiots to school), I drove off and that was the end of it.

First, who the hell tries to pick a fight with someone twice your size, who is clearly not intimidated by your stupid "bounce" stance, and then stares you down while you're in a two ton truck? Honestly, how stupid can this generation be?

This is why I have no faith in the generation beneath me. It's clear that my generation is the one that will have to change the world, cause those idiots will get themselves killed by standing in front of traffic while trying to "impress" some girl friend. Jesus, I wonder if those idiots realize we did them a favour by walking away.

I hate idiots. I shoulda just kicked their ass.

-Mark

Love/Hate Relationship with Computers

Every internet-sauvy (not annoying jackasses that use "leet") person that has had their computer forever, and update the hell out of it instead of just buying a new one because they love their computer, also, by nature, hates their computer. I am one of these people.

After 3 days of my internet repeatedly killing the connection for no reason, I finally caved and ran a VirusScan, which picked up some Trojan Dropper (since deleted). That explained why I'd lost 6 gigs unexplainedly, but not why my internet kept dropping, especially since I was on a router with 5 other people who were connected fine.

Now don't get me wrong, I love my compy with all my heart (my one true love), but you even get mad at loved ones from time to time. And when I'm angry at "Sexlexia" (the name of my computer on the local area network), I get aggressive. And yesterday was the epitome of that. When it froze, which it does from time to time due to overheating, I cursed and restarted (hard boot) it. Well while loading up ME (yeah, yeah, shut up), it froze once again. This is when the "hate" part of the relationship reached it's peak. After sending a hard karate-punch (I know karate, making my computer a good punching bag sometimes) to the sideboard of the case, my computer rocked on it's axis, sputtering, but didn't unfreeze. I was called out of the room, which I left, but halfway down the hallway I turned around, and came back to deck my computer once more - I was that pissed off that I actually couldn't let go a petty 2X freeze on my computer that I came back to "finish the fight off". Sad, huh?

But anyways, Sexlexia got the message and ran well until. . . that night. After still dropping my connection (making conversations annoyingly hard to have), I seemed to clean it up, apologizing to it by cleaning the dust out of the inside and telling it how much I loved it.

And it repaid me by freezing. . . again. Once again, after all I had done for it, I lost my temper and took a swing at the front of the case. And finally, some results! After cracking the case's front (not in any crucial area) Sexlexia has got the point and started to work again. It dropped my internet connection a few times, but a restart seems to have solved that. I've been meaning to actually format the computer (for the last 2 years), but I'm back to loving it again. And I bought it a new graphics card a few months ago, which has gone over nicely (I'm not a gamer, but a video-editor) with it. Now I will spend the next few days apologizing and cleaning the dust away from my child before it, much like a two year old, requires some discipline.

Yes, I have issues. But I've never hit a person (not out of anger - but in sparring matches I have), so Sexlexia doubles as my anger management device. And the poor keyboard! This little guy takes a beating, as I have routinely pouded my fist on it when Sexlexia gives me trouble. And my mousey gets tossed around occasionally, but it's ALWAYS Sexlexia that is the instigator. The only thing that has escaped by wrath is the monitor, which has never been problematic. Plus I'm pretty sure I'd get electrocuted if I punched through the screen. My speakers have only been a second-hand punishment, hit by flying mousey or headphones of malice.

But computers are like people - or at least Sexlexia is. How can something that gives you so much pleasure create so much pain? And don't get me started about Printer (or "My Kryptonite"). Every single one I've ever had has had a hate-hate-"why the fuck don't you just fucking print you fucking piece of fucking shit" relationship. Reminds me of an office space quote: "Why does it say there is a paper jam when there is no paper jam?"

Sorry. Just had to rant. I love Sexlexia, while also hating it. And I'm sure I'm not the only person that has this kind of relationship with their computer. Do share (if anyone ever reads this).

-Mark