Sunday, March 13, 2005

Doin's Transpiring, Theatre-Style

Okay, I don't know where I'm going with this, but what the hell, I'll just stat ranting. We've established in earlier blogs that anyone born post 1988 is a moron, but now I've come to have a comical experience while back visiting friends in my old town. A group of us were discussing where to go after we'd just come out of a movie theatre (after watching Constantine). Now this is where my post-88-moronic theory is confirmed. A bunch of punk 15 year olds (at best) were walking down the sidewalk of the plaza, towards us, being jackasses like usual. Naturally, since my friends and I don't care, we ignored them.

However, when they got closer to where we were standing, this stupid jerkoff kid (there was about 8.. 4 girls, 4 guys) starts hopping around one of my friends with his fists bared - as if he was going to fight us (totally unprovoked). Now before I get into what happened after this, let me tell you that he was about 5'4, 100 pounds, while my friend is 6'2, 190. I'm 6'0, 145, and the second smallest of my friends (except the girls with me, who were all smaller.). However, both myself and my other friend (who is 6'2, 160ish) have formal Karate training, and are middle-ranked belts. Anyways...

...So this stupid kid was, presumedly, trying to impress his girly-friends by attempting to fight us. While he's hopping around like a jackass, totally open for any strike I could make, his friends are saying "Jeff, Jeff, don't. . .". Which I can only assume they were trying to get him away from us, since well.. if he fought us, he was f*cked. Regardless, I just stared at this kid. He backed off, and we walked away (hooray for non-confrontation - it wasn't that I wouldn't own this punkass, I just didn't want to beat the shit out of him in a public place). So it appeared like it was disaster averted.

Not so much. My friends and I piled in my Jeep, and we were just leaving the parking lot, when we passed by them again. This time, some other jackass moron kid (not the same "Jeff"), stops dead on the end of the sidewalk and just stares at us as we drive. I dunno what his complex was, but it really looked like he was challenging me. . . while I was in a 2 ton truck. Now I don't care who you're trying to impress, but if you're 5'5 and 15, you do NOT stand in the way of a moving, two ton truck. You will not win that fight. Ever. I thought about steering at him to see how much balls he really had, but thought better of it (since I don't wanna get blood on my truck's hood). Being the bigger man (despite really wanting to take these idiots to school), I drove off and that was the end of it.

First, who the hell tries to pick a fight with someone twice your size, who is clearly not intimidated by your stupid "bounce" stance, and then stares you down while you're in a two ton truck? Honestly, how stupid can this generation be?

This is why I have no faith in the generation beneath me. It's clear that my generation is the one that will have to change the world, cause those idiots will get themselves killed by standing in front of traffic while trying to "impress" some girl friend. Jesus, I wonder if those idiots realize we did them a favour by walking away.

I hate idiots. I shoulda just kicked their ass.

-Mark

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