Okay, usually the dome is angry, but today is a time to rejoice, because I just had the BEST.BUSRIDE.EVER.
So I'm on the bus, sitting, and we come close to an intersection stoplight. There's a line of cars, so the bus stops - but opens the door in the left turn lane - some dude in a red Honda is calling him over. He says something about how the bus drove off when his daughter was there (so what?). The bus driver apologizes and tries to explain his thing, and then the guy yells to the driver "You're an asshole!"
Now it gets fun.
They crawl up a bit, and yell some more. The driver shouts something, the car shouts something.. it's loud, and everyone on the bus can hear (I'm trying not to laugh).
The red Honda then CUTS OFF THE BUS to get into the left turn lane, stops in the middle of the intersection (causing the bus to nearly crash into it), then out-crazies everyone by getting out of his car and running to the driver's window. I didn't catch it all, but this is the gist:
Honda: "What's your fucking problem you asshole!"
Bus: "It's not my fault if your daughter doesn't get on the bus!"
Honda: "Why don't we just step outside and settle this, you asshole?" (remember, we're in the middle of the intersection).
Bus: "I'm not getting out of the bus, you moron."
Honda: "We'll I'm not moving my car until you do!"
Bus: "Fuck you, I'm calling the cops!"
Honda: "Go right ahead, I'll be waiting!"
All this over a dumbass chick that doesn't know how to get on a bus... hehe.
So the Honda guy eventually panics, cuts off like 18 other cars trying to avoid getting his plate read (and he failed), and the bus got me to campus on time, and the cops were called. I burst out laughing during the middle of this argument, which was probably awkward, but it was hilarious...
So I dub that the best bus ride I've ever had.
And now you know how fucking crazy the place I live in is. People trying to pick fights over a missed bus ride.
Excuse me a moment...
..
..
..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
-Mark
(Last song: Bloc Party - Helicopter)
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Monday, March 27, 2006
Six out of ten, better luck next time
So I'm still pissed about that crash, cause I'd JUST cleared my last debt (ironically, that day. Fuck off!) Anyway, so I only have to work 10X the hours I have so far to pay off a piece of plastic and a fingerful of paint, but this bring me to my next pile of ranting juice.. and I can't believe I didn't rant about this earlier.
But before I begin, I can say that you people have nothing to worry about - despite the happy-enducing powers of the current girlfriend, the Universe was righted again by the cement pillar that I've already kicked and swore at the day after (which I rode to work on my sister's bike, cause my bike got a flat in the GARAGE over the winter, somehow. So I threw it through the recycling bin, which broke it. Luckily, Duct tape solved that. Let's move on).
INSURANCE! You fuckers!
Okay, I hate hate hate hate insurance. I hate them so much I wouldn't even hate fuck them (if you don't know what hate fuck means, wikipedia it.). But it's so counter-intuitive (car insurance). I mean nobody ever wants to claim because they're afraid their rates will skyrocket (which they would). It's so bad that some people would rather just buy a new car then deal with those fucktards. And because it's illegal to drive without insurance, those fucktards can do whatever they want. I mean I pay 150 a month or whatever to do shit with my car (which is my dads, which is broken). I have to pay for something I can never forsee myself using, because I'd actually rather pay for any damage to any car I own then talk to those douches. Even if I can't afford the car repairs, it's better then paying out the ass in insurance.
Here's an idea for the government to win the next 800 elections: MAKE AUTO INSURANCE NOT MANDATORY - UNLESS YOU GET INTO A MAJOR ACCIDENT. What's a major accident? 10K+ of damage. If you've totalled your crate that much, you should have to pay insurance. But if you've just dinged a few times, fuck off! And speeding affecting your insurance? EVERYONE SPEEDS. EVERYWHERE. ALL THE TIME. If you DON'T other drivers get pissed. Anyway, if you don't need auto insurance, well fuck, insurance companies make actually make it WORTHWHILE to have insurance. Right now they've got you by the balls and there's nothing you can do so why SHOULD they help you unless they don't get 5X the benefit?
See, house insurance isn't mandatory but it makes sense. You don't want your shit to get stolen or anything, so you get it if you have something valuable. IF you drive a wreck, who cares if someone steals it? Oh no, my car that I need to service every week and that has a leaky gastank! I'll have to walk to the end of the street to get it back! Seriously. If you have a nice car, you'll probably insure it to make sure that you're covered. But if you drive a crate, you don't care that much. If anything, you're just happy to not have to deal with that. And since we live in the age of paranoia, it's more than likely you'd actually take better care of it if you could lose it and have no compensation.
Fuck you, insurance.
-Mark
(Last two songs: March 24: Okkervil River - The War Criminal Rises and Speaks)
(March 25: Okkervil River - The Velocity of Saul at the Time of His Conversion)
But before I begin, I can say that you people have nothing to worry about - despite the happy-enducing powers of the current girlfriend, the Universe was righted again by the cement pillar that I've already kicked and swore at the day after (which I rode to work on my sister's bike, cause my bike got a flat in the GARAGE over the winter, somehow. So I threw it through the recycling bin, which broke it. Luckily, Duct tape solved that. Let's move on).
INSURANCE! You fuckers!
Okay, I hate hate hate hate insurance. I hate them so much I wouldn't even hate fuck them (if you don't know what hate fuck means, wikipedia it.). But it's so counter-intuitive (car insurance). I mean nobody ever wants to claim because they're afraid their rates will skyrocket (which they would). It's so bad that some people would rather just buy a new car then deal with those fucktards. And because it's illegal to drive without insurance, those fucktards can do whatever they want. I mean I pay 150 a month or whatever to do shit with my car (which is my dads, which is broken). I have to pay for something I can never forsee myself using, because I'd actually rather pay for any damage to any car I own then talk to those douches. Even if I can't afford the car repairs, it's better then paying out the ass in insurance.
Here's an idea for the government to win the next 800 elections: MAKE AUTO INSURANCE NOT MANDATORY - UNLESS YOU GET INTO A MAJOR ACCIDENT. What's a major accident? 10K+ of damage. If you've totalled your crate that much, you should have to pay insurance. But if you've just dinged a few times, fuck off! And speeding affecting your insurance? EVERYONE SPEEDS. EVERYWHERE. ALL THE TIME. If you DON'T other drivers get pissed. Anyway, if you don't need auto insurance, well fuck, insurance companies make actually make it WORTHWHILE to have insurance. Right now they've got you by the balls and there's nothing you can do so why SHOULD they help you unless they don't get 5X the benefit?
See, house insurance isn't mandatory but it makes sense. You don't want your shit to get stolen or anything, so you get it if you have something valuable. IF you drive a wreck, who cares if someone steals it? Oh no, my car that I need to service every week and that has a leaky gastank! I'll have to walk to the end of the street to get it back! Seriously. If you have a nice car, you'll probably insure it to make sure that you're covered. But if you drive a crate, you don't care that much. If anything, you're just happy to not have to deal with that. And since we live in the age of paranoia, it's more than likely you'd actually take better care of it if you could lose it and have no compensation.
Fuck you, insurance.
-Mark
(Last two songs: March 24: Okkervil River - The War Criminal Rises and Speaks)
(March 25: Okkervil River - The Velocity of Saul at the Time of His Conversion)
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Your time has expired, the only word left is goodbye
&*&*#&*&^*%*&#% 1171 bucks for that fucking piece of plastic? Fuck off!
-Mark
-Mark
Friday, March 24, 2006
Rise up behind your eyes, and take wild control
Glory days ahoy! Now for the most part I'm bitter towards society (no shit, eh?) and all the stupid shit I see happen. But whoa, here I go ranting into the present (or only slight-past) of personal experience! Let me tell you, after the day I had, it took everything in me to not to boil over (and I swear, it almost worked).
I tried, I swear. But Wednesday, March 22nd, was just a nonstop nadslapping. Apart from the usual beaucracy of my second job scheduling me on an unavailable day (for the 5 billionth time, after I've told them fourty times I'm NOT AVAILABLE ON THAT DAY), I ended up getting double shifted at my first job, and then at night, for my second. Whatever, I agreed because I'm broke.
My first job goes relatively smooth - as usual, I don't do much of anything for the four hours I'm here. I go home, to find out there's no sauce for my spaghetti. So I improvised and made spaghetti with medium salsa instead of sauce, which actually turned out to be quite delicious (try it sometime with sliced onions). I head off to work after - I borrow my dad's Jeep since I'll be working into the morning and the buses around here suck. I go to work - there's some massive pile 'o suits convention going on.. something like 1500 people. For the first bit I do nothing, my boss (one of them) steals the three of us 50 dollar dinners and we hide away and eat it. Sounds sweet, right? Yeah, it all goes horrifyingly downhill from there.
I'm asked to stay past my end time. I agree (money purposes, again), which results in me working twice as long as I was supposed to. But.. BUT.. I'm getting ahead of myself.
Around 10PM or so, the dinner is over but we have to wait for the suits to clear out. My other boss tells the three of us to just hang around and wait. So we go to the bar to make sure nobody's stealing booze and to wait for people to leave. We're there for about 15 minutes, tops. Eventually Boss #2 comes over and tells us to help out downstairs with Boss #1 and all the other staff until we're needed back up here.
We go down there, and in the back hallway, Boss #1 finds the three of us. He asks (loudly): "where the hell have you three been?"
Me: "We were up in the ballroom."
Boss #1: "What the hell were you doing there?"
Me: "Waiting for the guests to clear out."
Boss #1: You were gone for 30 fucking minutes!" (wrong assumption #1)
Me: "No we weren't."
Boss #1: "Yes you fucking were!!!"
At this point I just stop trying to tell him that he's wrong cause it's pointless (hooray for being on the bottom rung of a corporation and not having a voice!). I just sucked up all the yelling on behalf of the three of us, and was informed that we'd taken our lunch by doing what we were told by Boss #2.
Apparently. So okay whatever, I just start working (ironically, not even 5 minutes later we were in the ballroom again. Wow.) and get on with life, eventually getting the opportunity to explain to Boss #1 what really happened. That fire was put out, huzzah. I got my lunch back.
But then Boss #1 tells me and another of the workers to vaccuum - course, the previous shit is still in the way but I start vaccuuming.
Enter Boss #3. (Yeah that's right, 3 bosses on one night! woo.) I was on a break, and heading up to the break room. But in the hallway, they have all the uneaten (complete) deserts. I ask Boss #2 if I can grab one, he says that he didn't say yes but yes. I mean, I still don't get the big deal about eating food they're going to THROW OUT, but whatever. I grab a plate, and go towards the elevator. Boss #3 sees me with the plate.
Boss #3: "What are you doing with that?"
Me: "I'm on break."
Boss #3: "You can't take that and eat it!"
Me: "I can't eat food you're going to throw out?"
Boss #3: "No!"
I'll spare the rest of the details, but after a brief argument about why I don't like wasting food and how it's retarded to stop me from eating food that she's just going to THROW IN THE GARBAGE (have I made that point clear?), I get the plate. I go up and eat it (delicious! Free food always tastes better, despite my rising bitterness towards the situation). I go back downstairs and finish vaccuuming, but not before the other staff start setting up shit for the next dinner, convienently stopping me from vaccuuming certain floor.
Enter Boss #3.. again. "You missed a spot."
Me: "Where?"
Boss #3: "You didn't vaccuum here, here, here.."
Me: "They put the tables down before I could vaccuum there."
Boss #3: "Get the small vaccuum and fix your mistake!!!"
Now a table doesn't seem like a big deal, but these things are lined up specifically, and I'd actually get in bigger shit if I moved them. So now I've been yelled at three times, all for things I never did wrong.
I vaccuumed between the tables with the small vaccuum and got that done with.
2 hours passed... and enter Boss #3... one last time. "You missed a spot!"
Me: "Where?"
Boss #3: "In the corner!"
Me: "Okay, the cord doesn't reach that far and the extension cables are being used by other things."
Boss #3: "Don't give me excuses, just go do it!"
Joy. I got told off for not doing something I absolutely COULDN'T do anyway, and despite my explaining I still got yelled at.
So after vaccuuming the friggin football field sized carpet for a third time, my night ends... around 4:30AM.
I head down to the parking garage to my dad's Jeep. I'm pissed enough as it is, but I just think that at least I took home about 120 bucks today between my two jobs.
I get in my Jeep and get ready to reverse out - but another parked van is jutting out too far, so to not hit it, I turn to the left and back up... nicely into a pillar, breaking part of the bumper off, denting the frame over the back tire, and smashing the protective cover over the left taillight.... all in a 5MPH collision.
From money earned, to money in debt. I'm pretty much fuming by now, and luckily nobody else is around for my brigade of swearing that echoes. I clean up the pieces and throw them in the Jeep, test to see if the blinkers still work... which they don't. But the alignment is fine, so it's still driveable assuming I can get home without a cop seeing it and ticketing me. Oh, and did I mention that I had a class at 8:30 AM? Moving on..
I get back in the Jeep, and just flipped out, in a fury that only comes upon my life once every few years (mostly I just let it roll off my back, but come ON.. would you keep it together after all that?), punching the shit out of everything I could and swearing my face off.
Eventually I calm down (with help of some Bloc Party tunes, which pretty much kept me from driving myself into a ravine.
What a perfect end to a perfect day. I got home (after getting lucky with a cop.. he DEFINITELY saw me AND the broken taillight, but decided that it wasn't worth destroying whatever sanity was left in me - thank you, anonymous officer of the law) around 5AM, and went to bed, giving the world a gigantic fuck you. Oh, and I missed class after all that (like it matters).
So my dad's ready to murder me when he gets home and sees the damage (which he knows about, since I called him), so if this is my last post, at least know I died doing what I love best - getting murdered over an-under-10MPH-collison-with-an-immobile-object.
-Mark
(Last song was The Futureheads - Man Ray)
I tried, I swear. But Wednesday, March 22nd, was just a nonstop nadslapping. Apart from the usual beaucracy of my second job scheduling me on an unavailable day (for the 5 billionth time, after I've told them fourty times I'm NOT AVAILABLE ON THAT DAY), I ended up getting double shifted at my first job, and then at night, for my second. Whatever, I agreed because I'm broke.
My first job goes relatively smooth - as usual, I don't do much of anything for the four hours I'm here. I go home, to find out there's no sauce for my spaghetti. So I improvised and made spaghetti with medium salsa instead of sauce, which actually turned out to be quite delicious (try it sometime with sliced onions). I head off to work after - I borrow my dad's Jeep since I'll be working into the morning and the buses around here suck. I go to work - there's some massive pile 'o suits convention going on.. something like 1500 people. For the first bit I do nothing, my boss (one of them) steals the three of us 50 dollar dinners and we hide away and eat it. Sounds sweet, right? Yeah, it all goes horrifyingly downhill from there.
I'm asked to stay past my end time. I agree (money purposes, again), which results in me working twice as long as I was supposed to. But.. BUT.. I'm getting ahead of myself.
Around 10PM or so, the dinner is over but we have to wait for the suits to clear out. My other boss tells the three of us to just hang around and wait. So we go to the bar to make sure nobody's stealing booze and to wait for people to leave. We're there for about 15 minutes, tops. Eventually Boss #2 comes over and tells us to help out downstairs with Boss #1 and all the other staff until we're needed back up here.
We go down there, and in the back hallway, Boss #1 finds the three of us. He asks (loudly): "where the hell have you three been?"
Me: "We were up in the ballroom."
Boss #1: "What the hell were you doing there?"
Me: "Waiting for the guests to clear out."
Boss #1: You were gone for 30 fucking minutes!" (wrong assumption #1)
Me: "No we weren't."
Boss #1: "Yes you fucking were!!!"
At this point I just stop trying to tell him that he's wrong cause it's pointless (hooray for being on the bottom rung of a corporation and not having a voice!). I just sucked up all the yelling on behalf of the three of us, and was informed that we'd taken our lunch by doing what we were told by Boss #2.
Apparently. So okay whatever, I just start working (ironically, not even 5 minutes later we were in the ballroom again. Wow.) and get on with life, eventually getting the opportunity to explain to Boss #1 what really happened. That fire was put out, huzzah. I got my lunch back.
But then Boss #1 tells me and another of the workers to vaccuum - course, the previous shit is still in the way but I start vaccuuming.
Enter Boss #3. (Yeah that's right, 3 bosses on one night! woo.) I was on a break, and heading up to the break room. But in the hallway, they have all the uneaten (complete) deserts. I ask Boss #2 if I can grab one, he says that he didn't say yes but yes. I mean, I still don't get the big deal about eating food they're going to THROW OUT, but whatever. I grab a plate, and go towards the elevator. Boss #3 sees me with the plate.
Boss #3: "What are you doing with that?"
Me: "I'm on break."
Boss #3: "You can't take that and eat it!"
Me: "I can't eat food you're going to throw out?"
Boss #3: "No!"
I'll spare the rest of the details, but after a brief argument about why I don't like wasting food and how it's retarded to stop me from eating food that she's just going to THROW IN THE GARBAGE (have I made that point clear?), I get the plate. I go up and eat it (delicious! Free food always tastes better, despite my rising bitterness towards the situation). I go back downstairs and finish vaccuuming, but not before the other staff start setting up shit for the next dinner, convienently stopping me from vaccuuming certain floor.
Enter Boss #3.. again. "You missed a spot."
Me: "Where?"
Boss #3: "You didn't vaccuum here, here, here.."
Me: "They put the tables down before I could vaccuum there."
Boss #3: "Get the small vaccuum and fix your mistake!!!"
Now a table doesn't seem like a big deal, but these things are lined up specifically, and I'd actually get in bigger shit if I moved them. So now I've been yelled at three times, all for things I never did wrong.
I vaccuumed between the tables with the small vaccuum and got that done with.
2 hours passed... and enter Boss #3... one last time. "You missed a spot!"
Me: "Where?"
Boss #3: "In the corner!"
Me: "Okay, the cord doesn't reach that far and the extension cables are being used by other things."
Boss #3: "Don't give me excuses, just go do it!"
Joy. I got told off for not doing something I absolutely COULDN'T do anyway, and despite my explaining I still got yelled at.
So after vaccuuming the friggin football field sized carpet for a third time, my night ends... around 4:30AM.
I head down to the parking garage to my dad's Jeep. I'm pissed enough as it is, but I just think that at least I took home about 120 bucks today between my two jobs.
I get in my Jeep and get ready to reverse out - but another parked van is jutting out too far, so to not hit it, I turn to the left and back up... nicely into a pillar, breaking part of the bumper off, denting the frame over the back tire, and smashing the protective cover over the left taillight.... all in a 5MPH collision.
From money earned, to money in debt. I'm pretty much fuming by now, and luckily nobody else is around for my brigade of swearing that echoes. I clean up the pieces and throw them in the Jeep, test to see if the blinkers still work... which they don't. But the alignment is fine, so it's still driveable assuming I can get home without a cop seeing it and ticketing me. Oh, and did I mention that I had a class at 8:30 AM? Moving on..
I get back in the Jeep, and just flipped out, in a fury that only comes upon my life once every few years (mostly I just let it roll off my back, but come ON.. would you keep it together after all that?), punching the shit out of everything I could and swearing my face off.
Eventually I calm down (with help of some Bloc Party tunes, which pretty much kept me from driving myself into a ravine.
What a perfect end to a perfect day. I got home (after getting lucky with a cop.. he DEFINITELY saw me AND the broken taillight, but decided that it wasn't worth destroying whatever sanity was left in me - thank you, anonymous officer of the law) around 5AM, and went to bed, giving the world a gigantic fuck you. Oh, and I missed class after all that (like it matters).
So my dad's ready to murder me when he gets home and sees the damage (which he knows about, since I called him), so if this is my last post, at least know I died doing what I love best - getting murdered over an-under-10MPH-collison-with-an-immobile-object.
-Mark
(Last song was The Futureheads - Man Ray)
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Where did your hands go, when you thought I was your life
One thing that really bothers me is people that label their style as "unique" when it's really just the same as anyone elses. For example, dressing like a hipster isn't unique - that's a style. Just because your clothes are identical to the magazine cutout of what that style is DOES NOT mean you are unique. You're just the same as every other jerk that wears that shit. I can't stand having to listen to people ramble about how they choose their clothes to look different, and then fall back on some idiotic style that has been done thousands of times by other people that thought they were unique.
I really don't care how you dress. Just be honest about it. You're not a unique, beautiful flower. You're the same decaying matter as the rest of us.
-Mark
(Last song was Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood)
I really don't care how you dress. Just be honest about it. You're not a unique, beautiful flower. You're the same decaying matter as the rest of us.
-Mark
(Last song was Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood)
Monday, March 20, 2006
They are going out to bars and they are getting into cars
I've been brewing this baby up for awhile now.
One thing (amoung many) that really gets to me is when your parents or authority figure in your life (whomever it may be) continually calls you by some retarded pet name they gave you when you were young.
For example: When I was a wee lad, I used to get all excited about pumping gas for some reason (probably because I liked the smell of the fumes), which my mom donned the name of "Mr. Gas Boy." Okay yeah, that was fine to call me - when I was 12. I'm 21 now, it's time to stop that crap.
Seriously, the only people that can give you some ridiculous pet name is a significant other. Friends; no. Family; no. Random authority figures; no. It just pisses me off when the older generation does it because it's like they're trying to capture the "youth" lingo. And growing up in the 90s, trust me, that lingo is just as bullshit as all the other decade's lingo. But one thing 90% of these people don't get is that calling people by stupid pet names based on their childhood excitement or something they said frequently doesn't make them cool - it's just really annoying and it makes them look like they're out of touch.
What they don't realize, especially those trying to recapture their youth, is that by acting my generation's age (and let's face it: my generation was raised on internet porn and high school drama shows like "Dawson's Creek".. oi) they don't look cool or trendy or "in touch". They simply CAN NOT become their kids' ages again - it looks really awkward, and let's face it, our generation doesn't idolize you. We tolerate you when you're around, and then make fun of you when you're gone because you look like someone trying to recapture your youth.
I'm not saying you should just age and feel your excitement for life slip away (or whatever). Go and have fun, but don't try and look like you're 20 again. You're going to base your ideal look on what you looked like in the 70/80's, and then attempt some bastardized version of our slut-gangsta or indy rock, or (god forbid) emo. You can't pull it off. The most casual you can look is jeans.
And for the love of god, don't hang around young people that don't give a shit about their futures. You've had a future, you know there's stupid shit young people are going to do that you won't because you'll think of the consequences mentally, physically, or emotionally (unless you're stupid). Our generation still has that future ahead of us - so we don't care if we fuck it up now. It's not like we're going to enjoy it. And in 20 years, hopefully we won't go your route.
-Mark
(Last song was Panic! At the Disco - Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks)
One thing (amoung many) that really gets to me is when your parents or authority figure in your life (whomever it may be) continually calls you by some retarded pet name they gave you when you were young.
For example: When I was a wee lad, I used to get all excited about pumping gas for some reason (probably because I liked the smell of the fumes), which my mom donned the name of "Mr. Gas Boy." Okay yeah, that was fine to call me - when I was 12. I'm 21 now, it's time to stop that crap.
Seriously, the only people that can give you some ridiculous pet name is a significant other. Friends; no. Family; no. Random authority figures; no. It just pisses me off when the older generation does it because it's like they're trying to capture the "youth" lingo. And growing up in the 90s, trust me, that lingo is just as bullshit as all the other decade's lingo. But one thing 90% of these people don't get is that calling people by stupid pet names based on their childhood excitement or something they said frequently doesn't make them cool - it's just really annoying and it makes them look like they're out of touch.
What they don't realize, especially those trying to recapture their youth, is that by acting my generation's age (and let's face it: my generation was raised on internet porn and high school drama shows like "Dawson's Creek".. oi) they don't look cool or trendy or "in touch". They simply CAN NOT become their kids' ages again - it looks really awkward, and let's face it, our generation doesn't idolize you. We tolerate you when you're around, and then make fun of you when you're gone because you look like someone trying to recapture your youth.
I'm not saying you should just age and feel your excitement for life slip away (or whatever). Go and have fun, but don't try and look like you're 20 again. You're going to base your ideal look on what you looked like in the 70/80's, and then attempt some bastardized version of our slut-gangsta or indy rock, or (god forbid) emo. You can't pull it off. The most casual you can look is jeans.
And for the love of god, don't hang around young people that don't give a shit about their futures. You've had a future, you know there's stupid shit young people are going to do that you won't because you'll think of the consequences mentally, physically, or emotionally (unless you're stupid). Our generation still has that future ahead of us - so we don't care if we fuck it up now. It's not like we're going to enjoy it. And in 20 years, hopefully we won't go your route.
-Mark
(Last song was Panic! At the Disco - Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks)
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Your speech is slurred and I bet you might just swallow your tongue
So I downloaded the movie "Ultraviolet." I haven't watched it yet, but I heard it sucked. (And by downloaded, I mean, legally obtained a copy for awards purposes). However, it's done by the same director that made possibly the greatest movie ever, Equilibrium. Of course, the director of that masterpiece was Kurt Wimmer. He's made some pretty decent movies in the past, like The Wolves and The Thomas Crown Affair. I'm sure a few people have seen those. They're not instantly memorable - but nobody forgets Equilibrium after seeing it.
I mean, you could accidentally click this button and accidentally get the movie and watch it yourself. Honestly, given how awesome Equilbrium was, it's worth watching.
I'm sure this'll all bite me in the ass after I watch it. But every know and then, we need to turn our brains off and watch something mindless and fun, right? And being a university student, I get the priveledge of ALWAYS being able to turn my brain off.
-Mark, telling you to watch Equilibrium, and warning you about Ultraviolet.
(Last song was Editors - Bullets)
I mean, you could accidentally click this button and accidentally get the movie and watch it yourself. Honestly, given how awesome Equilbrium was, it's worth watching.
I'm sure this'll all bite me in the ass after I watch it. But every know and then, we need to turn our brains off and watch something mindless and fun, right? And being a university student, I get the priveledge of ALWAYS being able to turn my brain off.
-Mark, telling you to watch Equilibrium, and warning you about Ultraviolet.
(Last song was Editors - Bullets)
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
If something has to give, then it always will
Seriously, where are the recent films? It's a quarter into 2006 and NO new films have been interesting whatsoever so far. And Hollywood wonders why it's dwindling audiences continue? Because your films suck. Seriously. 75 days before getting a decent film out?
Although V for Vendetta could spark the riot. And when the hell is A Scanner Darkly coming out??
-Mark
(Last song: The New Pornographers - Streets of Fire)
Although V for Vendetta could spark the riot. And when the hell is A Scanner Darkly coming out??
-Mark
(Last song: The New Pornographers - Streets of Fire)
Sunday, March 12, 2006
This whiskey priest, he burned his church to keep his girls alive
SPOILERS AHOY!
So I watched Brokeback Mountain yesterday. I'd been wanting to see it for a little, just because nobody would shut up about it.
But then I realized something. I'd been duped. The only reason this film is so acclaimed is because it's an overtly homosexual film. So what? I remember my friend telling me the only reason that everyone is praising it is because they don't want to say it's bad for fear of being labelled as a homophobe.
Well here goes: It wasn't that good. In fact, if it wasn't a gay film, I probably wouldn't remember it. For such an important film, it just lacked so many things that would have made it so much more powerful.
First of all, I couldn't understand a damn word Heath Ledger said. I understand he's supposed to be a roughneck deadbeat, but jebus, not understanding half the dialogue really killed the drama. And because I could barely understand a word he said, I really didn't care that much about his fate. Yeah, okay, he's a deadbeat, he's got nothing, and he's doing nothing to better his life. I get it, but I don't care. What are his motivations? He loves Jack, I get it. He's in denial about his sexuality, I get it. So what?
A lot of the drama seemed forced, and as a result, I found myself laughing at a lot of the scenes instead of getting drawn into the movie. The entire premise was ridiculous - so these two guys that aren't sure about their sexuality fall in love, and then for the next 20 years, can't get over each other. 20 years is a long fucking time, man. And considering that they only spent a few months making hot man-love to each other, it just doesn't seem feasable that they wouldn't get over themselves. If Ennis was so conflicted about his man-loving-fetish that Jack gave him, why would he continue to do that? Ang Lee simply didn't do enough to convince me that they were truly incapable of moving on.
The editing also left a lot to be desired. The film seemed to skip over years, but more importantly, there was a cutting of scenes between Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway that really just didn't make sense. He just met her and is plowing her in his truck, and then the next cut is of her having a baby. Apparently they're married, or maybe she just got knocked up? Explain the 9 months, explain how their relationship survived.. not just "hey, he banged some rodeo girl and now they're married." Say what?
And finally, what really took me out of the film was the whole awkwardness between Ledger and Gyllenhaal. During the first scene where they eventually get down to the Quest for the Cornhole, the kisses between them seem so forced and unrealistic, because it's so very obvious they're both heterosexual males - and suddenly, the scene isn't Ennis and Jack tongue loving, it's 'hey, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are sharing a kiss just as awkward as the one in American Pie 2 between Stiffler and Jim!'
All in all, there was some good parts, like the cinematography was really well done, but there was just too many offs about the film that I found, and in the end it just didn't give me enough of believeable drama to make it worth all the praise it got. So I tend to agree that everyone talks it up because it's a gay movie, but it's not like it's the first.
I mean, for the love of jebus, people said The Silence of the Lambs was a gay movie. If you want something to talk about, talk about that. Cause all those activists were wrong.
-Mark
(Note: I'm not squeamish about saying anal sex, I just find it more amusing personally to make up things.)
(The last song was The Decemberists - On The Bus Mall)
So I watched Brokeback Mountain yesterday. I'd been wanting to see it for a little, just because nobody would shut up about it.
But then I realized something. I'd been duped. The only reason this film is so acclaimed is because it's an overtly homosexual film. So what? I remember my friend telling me the only reason that everyone is praising it is because they don't want to say it's bad for fear of being labelled as a homophobe.
Well here goes: It wasn't that good. In fact, if it wasn't a gay film, I probably wouldn't remember it. For such an important film, it just lacked so many things that would have made it so much more powerful.
First of all, I couldn't understand a damn word Heath Ledger said. I understand he's supposed to be a roughneck deadbeat, but jebus, not understanding half the dialogue really killed the drama. And because I could barely understand a word he said, I really didn't care that much about his fate. Yeah, okay, he's a deadbeat, he's got nothing, and he's doing nothing to better his life. I get it, but I don't care. What are his motivations? He loves Jack, I get it. He's in denial about his sexuality, I get it. So what?
A lot of the drama seemed forced, and as a result, I found myself laughing at a lot of the scenes instead of getting drawn into the movie. The entire premise was ridiculous - so these two guys that aren't sure about their sexuality fall in love, and then for the next 20 years, can't get over each other. 20 years is a long fucking time, man. And considering that they only spent a few months making hot man-love to each other, it just doesn't seem feasable that they wouldn't get over themselves. If Ennis was so conflicted about his man-loving-fetish that Jack gave him, why would he continue to do that? Ang Lee simply didn't do enough to convince me that they were truly incapable of moving on.
The editing also left a lot to be desired. The film seemed to skip over years, but more importantly, there was a cutting of scenes between Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway that really just didn't make sense. He just met her and is plowing her in his truck, and then the next cut is of her having a baby. Apparently they're married, or maybe she just got knocked up? Explain the 9 months, explain how their relationship survived.. not just "hey, he banged some rodeo girl and now they're married." Say what?
And finally, what really took me out of the film was the whole awkwardness between Ledger and Gyllenhaal. During the first scene where they eventually get down to the Quest for the Cornhole, the kisses between them seem so forced and unrealistic, because it's so very obvious they're both heterosexual males - and suddenly, the scene isn't Ennis and Jack tongue loving, it's 'hey, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are sharing a kiss just as awkward as the one in American Pie 2 between Stiffler and Jim!'
All in all, there was some good parts, like the cinematography was really well done, but there was just too many offs about the film that I found, and in the end it just didn't give me enough of believeable drama to make it worth all the praise it got. So I tend to agree that everyone talks it up because it's a gay movie, but it's not like it's the first.
I mean, for the love of jebus, people said The Silence of the Lambs was a gay movie. If you want something to talk about, talk about that. Cause all those activists were wrong.
-Mark
(Note: I'm not squeamish about saying anal sex, I just find it more amusing personally to make up things.)
(The last song was The Decemberists - On The Bus Mall)
Thursday, March 09, 2006
We reigned at the pool hall with one iron cue ball
I'm obviously a movie enthusiast, what with the film major and all, and the future film career (hopefully; probably not.). And for the most part, I'll sit my ass down and watch almost ANY movie made, regardless of genre or how shitty people say it is. Unless, it's a musical. I can't stand those.
But even then, I'm tempted to see Rent.
Anyway, my point here is this. What I don't understand is the well established actors that, as they get older, start whoring comedies. To me, that means that an actor is dwindling in popularity, or skill. Let's face it, I'm not talking about actors/actresses that have been doing comedies their entire career, I'm talking about those who star in serious dramas or thrillers, etc etc, and then all of the sudden start pumping out comedies, Ie: Robert De Niro.
Look, I know this guy's a good actor - Raging Bull, Goodfellas (well, basically anything that Scorcese and him have done together), he wasn't that bad in The Fan either. There's other movies, of course, but all of the sudden, he's in Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers (yes, I understand that's a sequel), Analyze This/That, Wag The Dog, etc. And frankly, those movies weren't that good. In fact, a few were downright terrible.
He's not the only one here: Think of Jack Nicholson (As Good As It Gets, Anger Management, About Schmidt, Man Trouble) too. This guy was a stud of the 70's, and The Shining, where he flourished.
But De Niro and Nicholson are on the short list of good actors that have slipped off the radar a bit - and it's happened with comedies. Some of the movies are okay, but I miss these guys in murderous rampages, delightful, biting violence - what they are really good at. I'm all for actors' range but when you're 60, it's not the time to start cutting into comedies. These guys have fallen off the radar, and I blame crappy comedies for it.
Now get back to beating the shit out of incest-lovers (Chinatown), and ruling the shit out of Chicago and Kevin Kostner (The Untouchables).
On the other hand, comedians tend to have an easier transition to dramas. Just look at Robin Williams, although that guy could act in anything. (One Hour Photo (a really underrated indy film), Insomnia, Final Cut)
I dunno what I'm getting at here, but I just miss the days when actors didn't play in total shit movies, playing off their star power.
-Mark
(Last week's song was Man Man - Spider Cider)
But even then, I'm tempted to see Rent.
Anyway, my point here is this. What I don't understand is the well established actors that, as they get older, start whoring comedies. To me, that means that an actor is dwindling in popularity, or skill. Let's face it, I'm not talking about actors/actresses that have been doing comedies their entire career, I'm talking about those who star in serious dramas or thrillers, etc etc, and then all of the sudden start pumping out comedies, Ie: Robert De Niro.
Look, I know this guy's a good actor - Raging Bull, Goodfellas (well, basically anything that Scorcese and him have done together), he wasn't that bad in The Fan either. There's other movies, of course, but all of the sudden, he's in Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers (yes, I understand that's a sequel), Analyze This/That, Wag The Dog, etc. And frankly, those movies weren't that good. In fact, a few were downright terrible.
He's not the only one here: Think of Jack Nicholson (As Good As It Gets, Anger Management, About Schmidt, Man Trouble) too. This guy was a stud of the 70's, and The Shining, where he flourished.
But De Niro and Nicholson are on the short list of good actors that have slipped off the radar a bit - and it's happened with comedies. Some of the movies are okay, but I miss these guys in murderous rampages, delightful, biting violence - what they are really good at. I'm all for actors' range but when you're 60, it's not the time to start cutting into comedies. These guys have fallen off the radar, and I blame crappy comedies for it.
Now get back to beating the shit out of incest-lovers (Chinatown), and ruling the shit out of Chicago and Kevin Kostner (The Untouchables).
On the other hand, comedians tend to have an easier transition to dramas. Just look at Robin Williams, although that guy could act in anything. (One Hour Photo (a really underrated indy film), Insomnia, Final Cut)
I dunno what I'm getting at here, but I just miss the days when actors didn't play in total shit movies, playing off their star power.
-Mark
(Last week's song was Man Man - Spider Cider)
Monday, March 06, 2006
You should always run with a loaded gun in your mouth
So I've decided to embark on a pointless project because I'm bored. All of the titles until I get bored will be from some song I'm listening to. Anyone that knows the song wins..... nothing. On the next post, I'll post which song it was from. Why? Because it'll seem less oppressive and give me a humanistic flare. Heh.. like I'm human.
Anyway, in my random scrounging recently, I happened upon a pre-internet rant. Apparently before I got the brainwave of blogging my rage, I wrote it down, old-pen style. Like the vikings would have done, had they the tools to do so.
But since this seems appropriate, and my rage is currently on the Oscars and intershnitzel piracy laws, I'll allow those to formulate and give you, my loyal reader, the first in my one-part series: Rage before the internet. Consume!
"What's the deal with the media and crappy commercials? For example, the subway commercial. Why is an entire family scream about one sub that they haven't even paid for yet? It's a 4-person family, so what are they going to do? Share it a eat three inches each? Also, what the deal with this 6-7 carbs crap? I haven't met anyone that goes to subway actively looking to lose weight. The bread alone kills any chance of you losing weight. And don't talk to me about Jared. Obviously he excercised and ate good food anyways. For him to lose over 100 pounds solely eating subway would take well over two years. That's 3 meals a day, 365 times X2. Or, 1035 X 2 = 2070. Each meal is around 10 dollars. . . totalling 20140 dollars on subs alone! Unless he's rich already, in which he wouldn't need to appear in their commercials, then he didn't just eat subway. What a scam."
Oh, how delightfully ignorant of me! Now obviously this is referring to some old-ass commercial subway put out, from I think around December 2004, but if I'm not mistaken, that commercial is gone. So I'm taking credit for that one. Anyway, I gave up on watching TV because commercials pissed me off too much, so I don't know if Jared's still being whored out from subway, but either way, that was REALLY fucking annoying.
This raises a bigger point about commercials, at least, to bring it back to the future. Like I said, I don't watch TV anymore, but jeebus, was it just me, or are commercials responsible for destroying a lot of people's "enjoyment" of wasting their day in front of the TV? I don't need to be bombarded by 8 million propaganda pieces telling me why some paid 'actor' is reading a script about why some household cleaning product rules, in a house that doesn't need cleaning, only caused by messes that children they don't know caused? Are these commercials supposed to make us feel like we want that product, or that everything the TV world makes is better than our crappy belongings? Bitter.
-Mark
Anyway, in my random scrounging recently, I happened upon a pre-internet rant. Apparently before I got the brainwave of blogging my rage, I wrote it down, old-pen style. Like the vikings would have done, had they the tools to do so.
But since this seems appropriate, and my rage is currently on the Oscars and intershnitzel piracy laws, I'll allow those to formulate and give you, my loyal reader, the first in my one-part series: Rage before the internet. Consume!
"What's the deal with the media and crappy commercials? For example, the subway commercial. Why is an entire family scream about one sub that they haven't even paid for yet? It's a 4-person family, so what are they going to do? Share it a eat three inches each? Also, what the deal with this 6-7 carbs crap? I haven't met anyone that goes to subway actively looking to lose weight. The bread alone kills any chance of you losing weight. And don't talk to me about Jared. Obviously he excercised and ate good food anyways. For him to lose over 100 pounds solely eating subway would take well over two years. That's 3 meals a day, 365 times X2. Or, 1035 X 2 = 2070. Each meal is around 10 dollars. . . totalling 20140 dollars on subs alone! Unless he's rich already, in which he wouldn't need to appear in their commercials, then he didn't just eat subway. What a scam."
Oh, how delightfully ignorant of me! Now obviously this is referring to some old-ass commercial subway put out, from I think around December 2004, but if I'm not mistaken, that commercial is gone. So I'm taking credit for that one. Anyway, I gave up on watching TV because commercials pissed me off too much, so I don't know if Jared's still being whored out from subway, but either way, that was REALLY fucking annoying.
This raises a bigger point about commercials, at least, to bring it back to the future. Like I said, I don't watch TV anymore, but jeebus, was it just me, or are commercials responsible for destroying a lot of people's "enjoyment" of wasting their day in front of the TV? I don't need to be bombarded by 8 million propaganda pieces telling me why some paid 'actor' is reading a script about why some household cleaning product rules, in a house that doesn't need cleaning, only caused by messes that children they don't know caused? Are these commercials supposed to make us feel like we want that product, or that everything the TV world makes is better than our crappy belongings? Bitter.
-Mark
Thursday, March 02, 2006
Hmm
I seem to remember posting something recently, but it's disappeared, or I'm an idiot.
Anyway, am I the only one that's really damn tired of shitty weather and learning? I'm not down or anything, but winter just pisses me off. And due to my stubbornness, it's not like I'm going to move to the states anytime soon, not until they clean up their fucking mess they made of themselves and stop bombing the shit out of other countries.
But I've just lost my will to give a shit about my schooling now. It usually happens that I get really lazy around Jan-April and coast my ass in the rest of the way, but this time there's work and I don't even KNOW when it's due cause I didn't bother writing it down. I'm on a downward spiral, but it's not like I had a bright future after I graduated.
Seriously, winter, fuck off. I hate you.
-Mark
Note: I am aware this was a pointless, unfocussed rant - I just need to vent cause I fucking hate Winter.
Anyway, am I the only one that's really damn tired of shitty weather and learning? I'm not down or anything, but winter just pisses me off. And due to my stubbornness, it's not like I'm going to move to the states anytime soon, not until they clean up their fucking mess they made of themselves and stop bombing the shit out of other countries.
But I've just lost my will to give a shit about my schooling now. It usually happens that I get really lazy around Jan-April and coast my ass in the rest of the way, but this time there's work and I don't even KNOW when it's due cause I didn't bother writing it down. I'm on a downward spiral, but it's not like I had a bright future after I graduated.
Seriously, winter, fuck off. I hate you.
-Mark
Note: I am aware this was a pointless, unfocussed rant - I just need to vent cause I fucking hate Winter.
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