Complaining about Relationships

Here's some shit I've noticed (yes, I'm back) in my 20 years of pointless existence.

I'm really getting tired of hearing people bitch and bitch about "problems that never change". Or "people that treat me like shit". Here's the thing. The problems don't change because YOU don't actually do shit to change it. So many people are so dependant on the routine they've got used to, they fail to notice the minute alterations that happen as time passes. This is most obvious in relationships: At first everything is great, there's that euphoric stage where neither partner can do anything wrong - then slowly, one, or both start knowing the intracies of each other. That'd be the "comfort level".

The comfort level is probably the biggest cancer to relationships in the history of time. Might as well change the comfort to "take advantage of the other person", because that's when one person just starts acting like themself - which is something you DON'T want in a relationship. Well you DO, but it never happens that way. What it really boils down to is that you either want to control the person you're with, or you want to have the freedom to do whatever the hell you want and your partner just has to live with it. Both are bullshit.

The reason you're SUPPOSED to be with the other person is because they bring out the best in you, and vise versa - and you like seeing that in each other (I'm not talking about casual dating, more of a long-term thing). You're both giving up a little freedom to be with the other person - but the amount of joy you receive from being with said person is supposed to make up for it.

So many times, this doesn't happen. Someone gets walked all over, and the other person feels belittled or mistreated. Then some sorry-ass apology is supposed to make up for it? Bullshit. Accepting such a shit cop-out is really just telling the person that you're letting them do it again.

"But they make me happy sometimes." Bull.Fucking.Shit. They should be making you happy ALL the time, not walking over you and then doing something to make up for it. There shouldn't be a "oops, make-up" stage in relationships. Maybe once, but repeatedly? Hell no. I've often wondered why people bother giving second/third/fourth/infinite chances to their partner. The most one should EVER get is a second chance - cause yes, sometimes people change. But 95% of the time - no.

I don't care if you love this person or if you really dig them, the fact that anyone would stay in an unhappy relationship to me, shows weakness. Sitting around hoping or waiting for change will not make it happen - it takes two sides to change, and it'll never fucking happen if the unhappy side doesn't bring it up. Discussion and communication is key in relationships, and so many long-term relationships slowly lose that, or they never had it.

"They used to treat me so well." Who gives a shit what happened in the past? If it's cheating, then you get the FUCK out of that relationship. You're a douchebag for staying in the first place if that's the case. However, if it's a treatment, where one side was great, and now aren't, don't fucking stay silent. Again, focus on what's been happeninig in the recent times. If this is ongoing, and seemingly uncaused (if there's an outside factor, like a major sickness, or family issues, fine, but it's still not an excuse to treat your partner like shit), the abused partner needs to leave. Or address it at the very least. I'm so fucking sick of hearing people tell me the same shit over and over and over. Do something about it. I usually be my best to be supportive and lend advice when I can, but there's times where I just stop giving a shit, cause the person complaining doesn't make an effort to actually change anything.

"I don't deserve better." Bull.Fucking.Shit. You deserve to be treated the way you treat people. If you adore someone and they trash you, don't settle for it. Tell the bitch/jackass - if they don't change, fuck 'em. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should sit there and take all the shit they deal out all the time. And telling yourself you don't deserve better is just a cop-out, it's basically saying "I don't want to deal with the problem", or "It really doesn't bother me as much as I say it does."

Maybe it's just (in my observation), people are afraid to be alone. Yeah okay it sucks, trust me I know (single for awhile now), and it does get lonely, but the longer you stay in an unhappy relationship, the more chance you're letting yourself miss the person that would treat you right. They could just pass you by or fuck, you could know them already and they may find someone else - then you're REALLY fucked.

I just can't put my finger on why people do what they do to themselves in relationships. I for one, NEVER, EVER, do breaks. If someone I was with put me on a break, I'd get the fuck out - I have more self-respect than to be cast aside and then brought back when it's convienent for the other person. Fuck you - I'll move on, you piece of shit. This drags back to the "fear of being alone". Maybe it's just that some people have some self-depricating need to be with someone - fine, but you're really treating yourself like garbage when you let the person that put you on a break take you back. You shouldn't take their ass back - you only get one shot at relationships, and people don't realize this. Have some fucking self-respect!!! I can't stand hearing how person X took back their girlfriend/boyfriend after a break - do you honestly think that the pain you just went through can be forgotten? If a break happens, just pick up your shit and walk away. Yeah, it hurts alot, but at least you wouldn't have to live with the fact that they did that to you and you took their worthless ass back. Move on, find someone new. If you're a female, it's really not that hard to find another guy. If you're a guy, prepare to put effort in again.

Overall, I'm just tired of having to listen to people bitch and moan they're unhappy, and then see nothing happen to rectify it. If you're really as unhappy as you say you are, do something other than bitch to me. Yeah, I can be there for support (what are friends for but support, good times, and to poke fun?), but eventually, if all I hear is complaints and I never see a change, I'll stop caring.

I'm done for now - but shit, I had to get that off my mind. HAVE SELF-RESPECT, PEOPLE!!

-Mark