So, in my ever sarcastic asshole-ish ways, I get back from two brutal exams (one where I wrote 20 pages in 3 hours. That was sick.) and go on to my occasional chat place when I have nothing better to do (Flash Flash Revolution - not what it seems). Of course, I've been carousing on that site for the better half of two years so the regulars know who I am. Usually I'm on my webcam, but this night I decided to go against showing people my glorius self.
Course, within two minutes, I've got a bunch of horny idiots asking me if I'm a girl. I don't know how you take the SN "Jazzmosis" and assume it's a girl, but I was pissed, so I decided to fuck with their minds. I called myself a 20/f/Canada (the only difference being that I'm male), and that my camera was "broken", hence why I couldn't show them who I was. This is how easy it is to get idiotic guys to tell you inner secrets. They asked what I looked like, so I googled some random picture of a girl who looks about 20. (Girl's picture: Here). Course I got a flood of compliments, so I began to act like a chick (overuse of emoticons, telling these ass-bags I thought they were sweet when they said "ur hot" and acting like I was "turned on" when they said "I wanna fuck you so bad right now". Apparently all it takes is a random lie about a girl masturbating three times in one day and these morons are ready to jerk to every word you put in front of them. While acting like I was impressed while assbag #1 lied about his age (started at 21, went to 17 by the end) and his apparent size (8"... sure), I acted like the girl every pathetic loser that goes to a video chat looking to pick up chicks that are way out of their league could ever dream of. I was, of course, single, horny, had the perfect body (I called myself with a C cup and 105 pounds), and I got "hot" when a guy told me he was jerking to that apparent picture of the "girl of his dreams" while in reality he was actually talking to a 20 year old male that was laughing at him and spreading all the stupid shit around to his friends at the same time so we could all laugh. By the end of it, we had about the entire chat in on this prank... but here's where it gets better. The idiot "wanted to stay in touch", but since I didn't have "MSN" I gave him my AOL (making up a lie about why my name was masculine - because I was a hot chick that loved sports, thus had the name "Jays" in it (I'm a Blue Jay fan, so that's at least justified). But he wanted to hear my voice, so he GAVE ME HIS NUMBER.
What the hell is wrong with today's youth? All it takes to be a stalker is a googled picture of some girl and a ton of lies about how you get turned on by pathetic losers in a chat?
In closing, while I laughed endlessly with everyone else about how losery this guy was (my name was "Kate" in the chat, if you're wondering), I have to apologize to the girl who's picture I ripped off.. some loser will be jerking to you for awhile imagining the words a 20/m said, posing as you. Still, I apologize only to the point where I'd still go back and do it again just to laugh at him. So really, it's your fault for putting your picture on the internet. Should have known that eventually, a jackass like me would randomly find it and use your face as an object to laugh. Hey, at least your face is funny, right?
-Mark, aka "Kate"
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