LiveJournal "friends"

I'm sorry people, but if you have a LiveJournal account, you're getting slammed by me. However, the plus side is, if you have a LiveJournal account, you're probably too full of shit to read what I say, or you'll just be like "He doesn't understand what it's like to be" (at this point I've stopped listening and giving a shit).

Anyway, if you have "Friends" on your livejournal account, unless you know them in PERSON and are actually FRIENDS with them, they're not actually friends... having a bunch of internet losers that are obsessed with this cult mentality is bullshit. LiveJournal is NOT a place to claim your popularity. In fact, LiveJournal itself is almost fucking pointless, unless you're going to make fun of other idiots who have delusional visages of thinking others care about their worthless lives.

MAKE REAL FRIENDS - Internet ones don't count. You're not popular if you never leave your room. You're not popular if you don't actually know real people. Social interaction may be bullshit, but it's better than faking it.

Idiots.

-Mark

Life advice from some guy I know

.....but most of you don't. Actually, probably all of you don't know him. Anyways, while talking about avoiding conversations that you don't care about, he dropped this gem:

Justin --> "you know what really grinds my gears? when you can't find the droids you're looking for!" says:
rules:
1. everybody sucks
2. everybody lies
3. nobody gives a shit

So true. Thank you, demi-god of conversational avoidance!

-Mark

Don't enroll at UWO

So my fucking University cancelled the class I set my entire goddamn schedule around. I'd go on about how pissed off I am, but I think just pasting this email would more accurately describe how pissed off I am.

------
Fuckers cancelled one of my classes WITHOUT fucking notifying me. One I was enrolled in. AND IT WAS THE BEST FUCKING CLASS I HAD. Now I'm 0.5 credits short, and my schedule is FUCKED. This is fucking horseshit. I might as fucking well drop out for all I care now. Fucking University pieces of shit can fucking go and fuck themselves. They've fucking charged me for a full year and then they fucking drop a fucking course. These fucktards have no fucking soul. My schedule was pisspoor as it was first sem, now it's gonna get fucking worse. I set my fucking schedule up around this fucking course and the assholes fucking fuck me like a fucking fuckpile of fucking fuckers. I fucking hate this shithole University.

Mark
------

Yeah, I'm fucking pissed off.

-Mark

A plague that must be stopped

It's time I warned the faithful readers (all three of them) of a deadly plague that is crushing the inner souls of most people under 40 - and it's called Soft Rock.

Stores will pump this crap out while the youthful people that are essentially faceless lackeys in a heartless world have to suffer this for hours and hours. Literally, this kind of non-offensive, non-talented, non-lyrically unique, pointless music that causes many University students to hate where they work is killing any creativity that could be used.

For example: Someone could have a genius idea to solve world hunger, but that idea is sucked away by the fact that the shitty "Soft Rock" that rants about loving some assbag or leaving some assbag enrages them - resulting in the genius with the idea to NOT want to help the world when all it'll turn out is that crap.

Either that, or the idea becomes lost from the mind-numbing effect that music has. I am a firm believer that this music literally kills a part of you inside, taking away what makes us human. As youthful individuals that the world endlessly says they will to become the next leaders and decision makers, why would you destroy what makes us hopeful for a non-bleak future when you hear basically one song played on repeat, sung by different people that STILL sound the same?

I hearby raise that the University and College students with any talent or hope for the future, or with an idea to progress the world, to band together and ransack any building that plays that crap.

Violence is the only solution now - we've gone beyond the stage of negioating for rationality.

STOP THE PLAGUE BEFORE IT DESTROYS THE HUMAN INSIDE YOU!

-Mark, leading the anti-soft-rock charge.

This is "news"

A few links to chew around and wonder why we care.

Yeah.... um, wtf? Who's guilty about not reading history books in the summer?


You've got to be kidding me. "Oh no, my source of income will run out! I'll only have my millions of dollars to fall back on!"


Dunno what to say about this. Except: So?


Wow. If you get that pissed about an email error over a book, you need to get laid.


Desparate is right. It's a fucking book. (Yes, I'm harping on HP alot, but fuck off, people are douches).


Am I the only one tired of these stupid health news articles that shoot down something 99% have never tried and would never give a shit enough TO try? Here's the answer: Wanna live longer? Don't die young. Asshats. Sidenote: Like how they spelled "Aging" wrong in the headline?

-Mark (and yes, the picture is Carlos Mencia from his new show on Comedy Central).

Microsoft hates its own products, and me, apparently

Okay, I'm not a fan of Microsoft's immeasureable evil and plague of shitty products that infect the internet and our operating systems, slowly destroying our morals, souls, and anything else that Microsoft can take from us and exploit, all the while making backdoor deals to keep us in endless pain when we operate our computers. That's the baseline that we're starting on, people. I have done many things to make my shitty OS (Windows ME, which took me 2 years to get working with minimal kinks) work well, and it's still bitchy from time to time, thanks mainly to Microsoft hating the patches and fixes other people make because they're tired of dealing with the Blue Screen of Death 400 times a day.

I've wanted to boycott Microsoft shit many times, but unfortunately I can't negate myself to 5% of the computer world, so I choose to hate (outspokenly) certain products that blow incomprehenseable chunks. Like Internet Explorer, which I ditched almost in its entirety for Firefox when IE stopped loading buttons, links, and took 400 hours to download anything, when it decided it was going to download shit, or load Quicktime, or basically even load my fucking homepage. I've dealt with everything that can go wrong in that shitty ass program, like the about:blank error, endless virus attacks, and IE's crack addiction that nearly spread to my RAM. Turns out my motherboard was the dealer. Anyway, I digress. The point was, I stopped using IE for Firefox.

However, I'm binded by the horrors that is MSN Messenger. I'd use AIM (I have AIM, but I'm not on it frequently) instead, but switching from Microsoft to AOL is like slicing your wrists with a knife instead of a razorblade. It hurts, and it's a slow bleed that you can't stop. Also, the thought of slicing my wrists makes we want to pass out, so let's move on. I also have Yahoo IM, but fuck that shit. I might as well just reload ICQ on my computer and talk to absolutely nobody, because nobody uses useless shit programs that nobody else is ever on. It pains me to say this, but sadly, MSN Messenger is the best chatting program out there as of right now. But that's like finding a penny in a pile of horseshit after searching for hours - it's not something you go and tell your friends about.

Well, as I eventually get to my point, I was using MSN 7.0.0777, whatever the fuck that version that is. There's a new one out, 7.0.0813 and 7.0.0816, which after much procrastinating, I finally decided to take a stab at. I'd patched 0777 to my liking, which meant MSN Messenger without any trace of MSN. Well, it updated..... kind of. After telling me I needed IE 6.0, which I already had (solely for the purpose of having 0777), I tried running some other patches and programs to get around the fact that Microsoft apparently refuses to recognize it's own sister programs on the same computer. I got a "we've added all our useless shit you'll never use" updated 7.0.0813, and I promptly tried to patch it. However, the patch I was using was meant for 7.0.0816, so I either had to live with the useless added shit 7.0.0813 or find 0816, which I set off to do. I found 0816 on MSN.com (link removed because I hate Microsoft and would never encourage anyone to go there), and Dled it. Tried to install it and got a nice "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message. This seemed to be more persistant than the other, so I decided I'd simply return to 0777 and live with the patch I had that I knew worked. After all, I wasn't having any problems with it.

WELL, Microsoft then apparently turned it's hate on itself, giving me the "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message, even though I'd already used 0777 on my computer, as recently as 5 minutes before trying to update. Well I then made the mistake of uninstalling MSN altogether and trying to start over. No dice, same message. So I decided to try and update to 6.0........again. That didn't take either.

By now, my blood had risen a few degrees in temperature. I had experienced Microsoft pointlessly not updating it's own products and demanding to update to them endlessly, but I got pissed and COMPLETELY DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. This was a small moral victory for me, as I was not sad to see it leave my computer. However, it was short lived as I need MSN to contact all my people (I don't own a cell phone, because I also hate phones.... but soon I will be forced to own one, if I ever want to escape this place and live free), etc etc etc. So I tried getting 6.0 from scratch. No dice. 400 restarts later, I once again DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. (It feels so good to write that). After pissing around, exchanging punches with my keyboard (which I'm surprised is still working.... I beat on this mother like nothing else, and it just keeps working. Gotta love it), this is how I got back to where I fucking started:

1: Tried installing an old messenger version (6.2)
2: That took, but then it turns out Microsoft doesn't want people using their products to actually get anywhere, so they wouldn't let me sign in without updating.
3: Deleted MSN 6.2
4: Found an old version of IE (5.5)
5: Installed IE 5.5
6: Attempted to update to 6.0, which for some reason actually happened this time.
7: Downloaded 7.0.0777, and installed it.
8: Saw all the useless shit, ran messpatch and cleaned it up.

That took about 15 minutes. All in all, I wasted about an hour and a half getting absolutely fucking nowhere. So after all my annoyances with MSN, it seems it has bested me until I lose my mind and firebomb MSN corporate offices (see: Newspaper headline August 2006: Crazed University Student Frees Humanity from Microsoft's Oppression, Gets 4 hookers to celebrate), but I have since decided this:

I'm never updating microsoft products again until I ABSOLUTELY have to (eg: It stops working because it's too old (a la 6.2)), or until I get a new computer. Which will never happen, because I love Sexlexia, even though it's an abusive relationship.

In summation: Microsoft blows, send them letters filled with locusts or semen or something else unpleasant.

-Mark

Sellouts

So I went and saw War of the Worlds last week, and I was actually fairly impressed with it. The story wasn't all that different, although there was some key changes about the invasion of aliens that was cool. However, it's come to my attention that Steven Speilberg has no fucking CLUE how to end a movie.

Sure, there was things I loved in the movie - like the lasers that turned people into dust, and the scene where it was raining clothes. Gold. And the special effects were very well done, but then it's like he just didn't know how to end the movie, or how shitty human warfare would defeat an obviously superior force..... so he shat himself and decided that they just "died". He tried to throw together a nonsensical explanation a la Morgan Freeman's narration, which actually had the word "micro" in it, which either meant the aliens died via bacteria, or that humans were micro and won via the aliens "forgetting" to turn on their shields or some other nonsensical bullshit.

And that fucking kid DIED. You can't just have him run into an explosion, disappear for the rest of the movie and have him randomly appear at the end alive and fine and there before the main character and his daughter. He's DEAD... half the fucking army he ran after died, but he survived with no protective clothing (not that it would have helped anyway), no weapons, and no transportation? Bullshit, he's dead.

Steven Spielberg can make good movies (Jaws, but that was 30 years ago), but when you forget how to end a movie or end it without a climax, it really ruins the whole thing.

I'd rate the movie in stars, but fuck that shit - watch it yourself, nobody gives a shit what I rate the movie out of. I still recommend watching it, just be prepared to be pissed at the end of it.

-Mark

Underage drinking is not a problem

Underaged drinking is not a problem, people. If a minor or an 18 year old wants to get into clubs/bars/or just get booze, chances are they'll find a way. Fake IDs are apparently not hard to find, especially if you have an older sibling of the same gender, but I don't understand why people get so upset about this.

Yeah, some 16 year old may be trashed - yes, they don't know their own limits, and will probably do something stupid - but hell, we've ALL gone through that stage as kids. What the real concern is keeping your douchebag underagers from drinking and DRIVING. That's a far more serious problem. A bunch of minors drinking at some party in a basement or backyard is nothing to be pissed about, especially since usually they're just having a good time and that's that - nobody's endangered unless someone drinks too much (fuck em, lowering the population anyway). But if they get behind a wheel intoxicated they endanger far more people. Parents, if you want to control your dumbass kid, let the idiot drink, just drop them off at the party and pick them up when you damn feel like it. Whenever I'm out to get trashed, I take my bicycle or a cab. It's simple.

So next time your kid is going out and you think they're getting hammed, just fucking tell them you don't care, as long as they don't drive. Shit, there's more important things in the world to worry about.

-Mark

This is just stupid

Now it's been awhile since I blogged, but I've been a strangely good mood (also known as an ego trip) for the last few weeks. However, it couldn't last forever until the media buggered it. This article states that some 80 year old KKK member just got sentenced to 3 consecutive 20 year sentences for manslaughter committed back in 1960.

This just seems redundant and pointless to me. Let's say for example, he manages to live through one of his 20 year sentences - he's now 100 and fucking useless to everyone, but there's not a goddamn chance in HELL he's living to 140 years old to survive his sentence.

Now I'm definitely not an advocate for capital punishment (It depends on the crime, in my opinion), but sending an 80 year old to prison for 60 years is obviously a waste of taxpayers money. Why not just either hire one guy to watch over him or have him under house arrest? It's not like he's capable of doing anything anymore. Or hell, just kill the old bastard. It's not like he gave a damn while being a racist prick in the 60's.

-Mark

Open your ears, jackass

I'm back after another week-long delay. I've been playing alot of baseball which makes my blogging schedule inconsistent. If you don't like it, eat me, or send me money and I'll post more often.

Anyways, now I'm back ranting about people who DON'T GODDAMN LISTEN. I'm not referring to people who PURPOSELY don't listen, like for example: Person X is talking to Person Y about something pointless, and aren't getting the hint about shutting up. Person Y responds with "Yeah", "Okay", "Uh huh", "Yup", Any varition of 'yes', or my personal favourite, "Oh yeah, well, you gotta!"

I'm not talking about that. Although Person X should get the hint we don't care.

I'm talking about when someone is giving you USEFUL information about something you MAY or ARE interested in, like a time of an event, news that effects them, or something else. Having no life, I wouldn't know what people are interested in. But once again, today I go to watch the Blue Jays game, to which I see the TV which is ALWAYS on and my family is ALWAYS watching something (I hardly watch TV.. somewhere along the lines of 0 hours a week, except for baseball maybe once a week if I'm around). I know my family likes the Blue Jays, so I go to them and INFORM them with the following transcript:

Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "THE GAME IS ON IN 20 MINUTES."

At this point I just walked away - I'm not wasting my breath again. And it's not like they couldn't hear me the first three times, since I was maybe 10 feet away. I could give up one, since they have the TV loud enough to vibrate the damn floor (On The Report on Business Channel, no less... which I have been informed they don't even LISTEN to, they read the ticker at the bottom..... WHY DO YOU NEED SOUND THEN??), but if you're not going to listen, then fuck if I'm going to repeat it. Normally when I leave my room it's either to: Get food, Leave the House, or Go the Bathroom. So if I'm actually going to SAY something it's usually relevant.

And granted I don't particularly speak clearly, but I blame that on my English heritage. Have you ever heard those people talk? I was doomed from the start (and no, I don't have an accent - only one in my family without it). But jebus, it's not that hard to hear something when you're doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALL DAY.

Another thing I hate that's related. When they say "What?" then when you repeat it, they friggin cut you off half way through! Screw you, if you don't care, don't ask for me to repeat it! Or when they ask me a stupid assed question and criticize me when I give a short, consice answer (sorry for being effecient, jackass). If my day was "uneventful", then that means NOTHING NOTEWORTHY HAPPENED. I'm not going to say "Well at lunch I went to the lunch room and open the wrapper of my hamburger, which was wrapped 4 times over, and I had the toppings of blah blah blah." Why? Cause it's not NOTEWORTHY.

Also while I'm at it, I friggin HATE it people start pressuring me to do things in my life. If I'm faced with a situation outside of the "nucleus" of this family that I'm really not part of, they start ENDLESSLY giving me HORRIFIC advice over what to do. I've had situations where someone borrowed something from me and I needed it back by a certain date, which didn't happen, so they start telling me to call, and call, and do this, do that, until finally I get the "gem" of advice about contacting my professor (it was a class book) about why this person has my book and how I can't get it back. So let me get this straight: Being a whiney bitch to my prof about my FRIEND not getting my book back (which I did, in time for the exam too), will solve ANYTHING. What stupid horseshit.. why do I live with idiots?

-Mark

You'd think so, wouldn't you.

Okay, after a week-long delay + 3 days for my drinking binge (I turned 20 on May 28), I have returned! Missed me? Of course not.

So I've got this Audio Visual job for the Canadian Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences. The Congress is some 10 day thing they're holding on my University campus where people present REALLY boring shit (I had to sit in one of the conferences to make sure the machine was working fine and the presenter was talking about FONTS for an hour... FONTS??? COME ON!!! Who gives a shit where Times New Roman came from?) Anyway, there's 24 man staff of A/V techies (myself being one of them) and we're posted in some of the buildings and have to hook stuff up for the delegates if they booked things like computers, video projectors, etc etc. It's really the easiest job I've ever had.. I worked from 7-3 today and After 10:15 I literally did nothing. In fact, I fell asleep for awhile).

Anyways, while I can't complain about that, what I WILL complain about is the bus passes. All of the delegates get a complimentary bus pass for the all routes for the 10 days, but the friggin' employees don't. Come ON, we WORK for you, you can't spring to give us the damn passes? I have to get up at 5:30 AM for this job, and at that point I'm far too incoherent to find 2.50 for the bus, or 5 bucks if I don't feel like walking home (which I don't, ever.. too far). Hell, it's a miracle I remember to wear pants before walking out the door. So why not give us a damn bus pass? It's not like the University doesn't have mad stacks of cash already, since they are a campus of 40K students and they only need about 2K to break even each year... but they can give these damn delegates a bus pass? Horseshit! I have to get to work, and apart from eating all your food while I'm there, I don't wanna spend money (I actually just take the food, since it's on tables everywhere).

Luckily for me, I know a guy who knows a guy (who thought I'd ever use that phrase?) and he was handing out the bus passes, so I got one. Take THAT, whoever decided against giving staff bus passes!

-Mark.

Do You Realize?

Y'know what really pisses me off? People with douchebag MSN names. I can understand people bitching about something that happened in their life (and putting like "person X is a douchetard") or being frustrated at something and going off in caps-locked swearing fests... I'm not talking about that, those are great. I'm also not talking about how people will put amusing quotes or just their name, those are sensical and sometimes comical.

I'm talking about the douches that put shit like "I love my idiotic boyfriend/girlfriend/famous person/band/barbeque grill/etc". Nobody gives a shit who you love or why, don't clutter up my precious MSN viewage with crap I don't care about. Obviously the world should bow down to my every demands anyway, so stop this plague of caring and affection for inaminate objects already.

Moving along. I also hate when people put song lyrics in their name - jebus, I've done it one or two times but at least my lyrics made absolutely no sense. Course, I even hated my own lack of originality when I did it. But seriously. I don't want to read some shit that NOBODY understands... And if I'm being contradictory, it's because you're too stupid to see my minute difference.

Bottom line: When you use MSN, don't give me something heartwarming unless I actually care about you (and I care about so few people), don't give me song lyrics because I'll block you, and HAVE AN INTERESTING OR AMUSING NAME!!!

Jackasses.

-Mark

Life sucks

Just in case you forgot.

-Mark

Myspace = electronic garbage

So I'm back with yet another rant from hell. This time, I will break down the "phenom" that is MSN Myspace.

What the hell is up with everyone "wanting" or "needing" to get a "myspace" so they can tell all their idiot friends about their crappy lives and their mundane, megar, useless daily activities ("well today I got up and had a piece of toast"... so what?). Even if they say anything mildly interesting, don't show me pictures of you doing nothing. I'll get back to this in a moment.

However, I'd probably hate Myspace less if it wasn't affiliated with Microsoft. MSN/Microsoft has a knack for turning everything they create into a buggy POS, and failing that, something destructively monopolizing or child-killingly evil. Now yes this is hypocritical of me since I use Windows ME, possibly the worst system Microsoft has ever created, but I've learned it's throws and with the helpful patches from people who also hate but won't update, and some technical lerndening (I spelt that wrong on purpose), I've actually got this bitch running smoothly. Anyway, Microsoft's "let's ID with the teens and youthful money-irresponsible idiots" Myspace is just yet another attempt to create a monopoly, of..free..space. Hey, I don't have to explain my unfounded hatred and irrational disgust with MSN. It's bad enough I use their Messenger because it's the "best" instant messaging program, but once again, I patched the hell out of it to destroy any traces of Microsoft "helpfulness" (the search bar, ads, logos, stupid winks and nudges... GONE).

Anyways, in short: Myspace sucks, don't be a fanboy/fangirl and waste my ocular superiority by having me read your crap.

-Mark

Odd...

Now this is kind of off topic from my usual rants, but do you ever get in a ridiculously foul mood where you hate everything and are on the brink of snapping and killing everyone you know in a violent bloodlust when something totally random just catches you off guard?

It happened to me this morning. I couldn't sleep, so I ended up getting 3 hours all night.. well I was taking a vitamin in the morning, opened the medicine cabinet, and found.... amongst the clutter, an empty Dr. Pepper can. Not at the front, either.. it was mixed in the middle. Apparently in my sleep deprivated state sometime last night I must have drank one, and put it in there for some reason.. but I don't remember doing it or why it was there.

Needless to say, it really threw me off and was quite odd.

-Mark, a bit perplexed

Rage Against the Stupidity

Back to harping all over Peter's refute of my point about the NDP's being bags of douches. Specifically, Layton.

Okay, so I'll start this blog out by admitting I was in fact, wrong about the NDP governing control. They have two positions of power in Manitoba and some other province.

Now, to point out Peter's bullshit. You know damn well that if the roles were reversed and the Conservatives were the smaller opposition, you'd throw up how the Conservatives wouldn't be able to change from their "mistake" of the early 90's in Ontario. (Which the NDP f**ked up). Does Layton want this government to work? Probably, but he'd be a hell of a lot happier if the Liberals sided with him. If it was a Conservative minority, Layton would definitely vote against "ONE" mistake.

Why should the public let 2 BILLION dollars slide? One mistake by the Liberals? Bullshit! Gun scandal, Sponsorship scandal, piss-poor management of funds, Paul Martin was the goddamn MINISTER OF FINANCE when Cretien was in power and he let this shit slide. Now he's the damn PM, that's a massive "X" to put beside his name.

But Layton only has one reason for wanting this government to work "together". First of all, if the Liberals bugger themselves over, over an ISSUE of MONEY SPENDING, something the NDPs are notorius for doing freely, while the Conservatives are typically tightass about that, chances are the public will go for the Conservative government. Layton wants the Liberals to stay in power because he has the most leeway with them. If the Liberals go down, Layton rides that train to hell with them. When the most power you have is 24-ish seats (I'd figure it out, but it's definitely no more then that.. possibly less), obviously you realize that if your opposite spectrum party could get MAJORITY control, you're buggered if you don't throw your support behind the controlling party.

Do I think Harper would do a good job? Hell no, the Conservatives would do a piss-poor job. Eves and Harris ruined the Conserve's for me with their idiotic amalgamation BS of the mid-90's. Martin sucks at being PM, that's for damn sure. Layton I am confident would ruin this country with his moronic spending habits that his party is KNOWN for and HAVEN'T changed over since the damn of the party. That leaves the Green party. Here's hoping they score a seat in the next election, so at parties start freaking out realizing that people are starting to hate the big 3.

Refute that!!

-Mark

How I feel

And it's how you all feel too when you're the nice guy that gets SCREWED. Click.

I didn't get screwed, I guess, but sometimes when you put effort into things and end up with nothing, this is how I feel.

-Mark

Time to argue

Oho, finally, a blog WORTH posting about. Actually it's my friend's (Peter's Randomness) blog, but finally something we can argue on (although we basically argue about everything - a consistent friendship is good to have). In his blog post in the link, which is viewable by clicking here, he rants about how Steven Harper can't identify with the Eastern Canadian vote and why Jack Layton is some sort of god.

Course, he's wrong. I'm not a fan of Harper nor will I vote for the douchebag, so we'll get this out of the way already. I'm actually what I call a "vote thrower", someone who will likely always vote for a party that has no chance to win - it's my right to vote, and I will excercise that right by going out and throwing my vote away since every party in the history of time sucks. I just hate hearing "if you don't vote you can't complain", well shut the fuck up, that's what I'm going to do. Anyways, back on topic.

Layton's a moron. In fact, all NDP party members are. We'll review the last time the NDP got in power (since they've never even been the official opposition party federally, I'm going to provincial levels). Bob Rae had a minority government in Ontario back in the late 80's early 90's (sometime around then), and he completely fucked up the province by going spend-crazy. After he blew all of the money the province had on idiotic programs (that failed, btw), he then issued a MANDATORY, UNPAID day off once per month. Anyone struggling to get by was hence further screwed. When you make minimum wage or can barely get by, losing a day of work could be your end. Multiply that by 12, and you've lost nearly 300-500 dollars a year. And you're going to let a government with that kind of money problems into power FEDERALLY? Don't give me that minority gov't BS, cause Rae had a minority gov't and still pulled this shit.

Now Harper's problem with Eastern votes. If you look at the Conservatives' past, they haven't ever really got much Eastern support. You could easily spin that around on Layton's NDP and say they don't reach out to the Western Canadians, which has always been a fragile region since the Confederation. Quebec's got its own problems with the Bloc being insane seperatists (remember the Referendum, and how Quebec wanted to be independent but still keep our currency and all that crap? Yeah, um, not happening). While that fisselled briefly under Cretien, Martin's crapulence lead them back up. Still, they aren't the Official Opposition, so they get a big pile of shut up and a bag of "if you leave you're more fucked then if you stay" to take home. Canada's always bent over backwards for the French-Canadians, and they routinely complain (the politicians, at least).

Are the Liberals any better? Hell no. But let's at least wait until the commish finishes their investigation. All I'm hoping from the inevitable election is that the Green party gains more power, and hopefully at least one seat.

That is all. Refute away, Peter.

-Mark

Comedy through manipulation

So, in my ever sarcastic asshole-ish ways, I get back from two brutal exams (one where I wrote 20 pages in 3 hours. That was sick.) and go on to my occasional chat place when I have nothing better to do (Flash Flash Revolution - not what it seems). Of course, I've been carousing on that site for the better half of two years so the regulars know who I am. Usually I'm on my webcam, but this night I decided to go against showing people my glorius self.

Course, within two minutes, I've got a bunch of horny idiots asking me if I'm a girl. I don't know how you take the SN "Jazzmosis" and assume it's a girl, but I was pissed, so I decided to fuck with their minds. I called myself a 20/f/Canada (the only difference being that I'm male), and that my camera was "broken", hence why I couldn't show them who I was. This is how easy it is to get idiotic guys to tell you inner secrets. They asked what I looked like, so I googled some random picture of a girl who looks about 20. (Girl's picture: Here). Course I got a flood of compliments, so I began to act like a chick (overuse of emoticons, telling these ass-bags I thought they were sweet when they said "ur hot" and acting like I was "turned on" when they said "I wanna fuck you so bad right now". Apparently all it takes is a random lie about a girl masturbating three times in one day and these morons are ready to jerk to every word you put in front of them. While acting like I was impressed while assbag #1 lied about his age (started at 21, went to 17 by the end) and his apparent size (8"... sure), I acted like the girl every pathetic loser that goes to a video chat looking to pick up chicks that are way out of their league could ever dream of. I was, of course, single, horny, had the perfect body (I called myself with a C cup and 105 pounds), and I got "hot" when a guy told me he was jerking to that apparent picture of the "girl of his dreams" while in reality he was actually talking to a 20 year old male that was laughing at him and spreading all the stupid shit around to his friends at the same time so we could all laugh. By the end of it, we had about the entire chat in on this prank... but here's where it gets better. The idiot "wanted to stay in touch", but since I didn't have "MSN" I gave him my AOL (making up a lie about why my name was masculine - because I was a hot chick that loved sports, thus had the name "Jays" in it (I'm a Blue Jay fan, so that's at least justified). But he wanted to hear my voice, so he GAVE ME HIS NUMBER.

What the hell is wrong with today's youth? All it takes to be a stalker is a googled picture of some girl and a ton of lies about how you get turned on by pathetic losers in a chat?

In closing, while I laughed endlessly with everyone else about how losery this guy was (my name was "Kate" in the chat, if you're wondering), I have to apologize to the girl who's picture I ripped off.. some loser will be jerking to you for awhile imagining the words a 20/m said, posing as you. Still, I apologize only to the point where I'd still go back and do it again just to laugh at him. So really, it's your fault for putting your picture on the internet. Should have known that eventually, a jackass like me would randomly find it and use your face as an object to laugh. Hey, at least your face is funny, right?

-Mark, aka "Kate"

There's only two emotions we need

Let's face it: Happiness is only a cover-up for the pain we all feel. Humans are so caught up in what happened to them that makes us sad that we become obsessed with it. Good, most of the idiots deserve to feel sad - let's face it, as humanity goes on, we've proved how useless and destructive we really are. What DO we have to be happy about?

Here's the problem: We have this "spectrum" of human emotion (thank you, Donnie Darko: You can't just lump things into two categories and deny everything else - life isn't that simple!) that screws with how we act and think. Not that rational thought is a good thing, we usually screw ourselves more (which is sometimes amusing). Anyways, I say abandon the "positive" emotions like happiness, love, caring, kindness - bah, those are useless. We only need these:

1: Anger. When we're angry we don't think straight but we show who we really are - selfish pricks that would throw a homeless man in front of an old lady crossing the street just so they'd both get hit by the car that's running the red light. Anger fuels our desire to say to our friends that they're idiots and we'd rip out their hearts and drink the blood of their children if we had the chance. Anger lowers the human population numbers, and that's a good thing. The last thing we need is more of our idiot kind running around.

2: Pain. Not physical pain, that deep, emotional pain that takes years to heal and causes people to become paranoid shizophrenics that murder buses filled with innocent schoolchildren or firebomb senior citizen's homes. This always leads to public anger, which leads to bad blood.. ah, glorius.

And although it's not an emotion, this is key to humanity: Sarcasm.

Mark