Stress

Stress is everywhere, people. And we all suffer from it. Now usually I let it roll off my back (because I keep the "I don't care" demeanor) but even I suffer from it when a ton of crap happens all at once. And this past two weeks, it happened. And I can honestly say that over the last few years of my life, I don't think I've ever had this much stress before, or at least I stayed oblivious to it in my idiotic highschool career. Too bad it's University and the bureaucracy is a billion times more intense. But I digress.

Most people who know me personally would know that I've been suffering from an annoying illness that has just seemed to linger for the past week. Turns out I have high acid content in my stomach from NOT vomiting while ill. Which I guess itself, is a lesson to people. . . vomit if you feel like you have to. I've been holding it in forever and it's just lengthened my illness and apparently messed up my stomach acid and blood sugar. Which is bad enough since I have low blood pressure already (another annoying thing I was born with), but a lack of blood sugar combined with low BP can make people very, very, very light headed and dilusional (at times). So what a week it's been.

But ignoring that illness, stress has gotten to me for the first time in awhile. Missing an exam was bad - but getting the medical excuse slip (hence the bureaucracy statement) was so nightmarish it made me wish I'd just thrown up and written the damn thing - at least I would have finished it, and to piss with the mark. But it's also Intent to Register week. Which, if you ask me, is really stupid to do during mid-term exams, which I had 4 of, but that's University. So I had these to worry about. For the most part I feel like I did fine on the exams, and with one to go I've finally hit "rock bottom". I read (ironically, for my Psych exam) that when the body gets to a certain point of stress overload, it either breaks down (a la "nervous breakdown") or rejects the stress altogether. It was fairly easy (given my casual don't-care personality) that my body just rejected it altogether, I suppose as a dealing method. But after all this, it brings me to my main point of this post:

Stress. Artificially created (or chemically enduced by the body) by oneself as putting too many expectations on themselves. Okay, I can understand that a job has deadlines, but is it worth snapping over? I guess I just "don't understand" the real world, but I think it's horseshit if you take an exam that has you having heart attacks over everything - how can that POSSIBLY be your dream job? Stress is never a good thing, and can lead to insane states of mind, disease, etc etc. Lots of bad things.

Which is what I don't understand - what's the point of stress? Do we as a society expect too much of ourselves to ultimately, look after ourselves first? I'm all for helping people in need (to my best extent) but I'm realistic about what I can do. There just gets a certain point when I say "it's not worth it anymore". Are you more concerned with looking good in someone else's eyes than caring about yourself? Call me celf-centered but someone should always put themselves first in terms of personal health. I'm not talking on a political level, I'm talking on a personal level with co-workers, friends, aquaintances, etc. Put yourself first, people. Don't kill yourself over someone else's problem - do what you can to help, but that's it.

If humanity wants any chance to survive, we have to stop striving to impress everyone else and think of ourselves first. At least on a small personal level. Not if you're building a rocket or leading a country (especially into a pointless war. . . hmmm), that's different. Maybe I'm contradicting myself a bit here, but I have to unload.

In summary: Don't stress out about things you can't control - think of your own health and happiness first. So long as that doesn't involve killing everyone else.

-Mark