Monday, February 21, 2005

Philosophies. . .

Those who know me would know I'm pretty full of myself - which is fine, it's more of a joke than me being serious - I'm not a serious person. But I do have some basic Philosophies that I live by, and it's got me thinking. First of all - my obsessive philosophies:

1: Don't try too hard; it's not worth it. - Ever seen the movie "Office Space"? There's a quote by the main character that says "If I work my ass off and the company ships a few more boxes, I don't see a dime for it". . . he goes on to say "The problem is motivation." And finally, he says "I figure I should do just enough to not get fired." Well, that pretty much sums up this philosophy. Even if you try, you go out and kill yourself, does it mean anyone will care or take notice? Unlikely. More than likely, you'll just feel worse because nobody noticed. If working hard makes you feel good, go ahead and do it. But for me, I don't see the point in putting so much effort into my work when it'll only get me a few more percent, or in a job situation, when my job sucks anyways so who cares if I do it well? That being said, I do enough to still do well - which turns out, is very little.

2: Your ego is your best friend. - Talk yourself up all the time. Hell, why not? You may sound obnoxious but if you do it in a way that people know you're joking, it's just funny. Besides, for all you know, you ARE the most important, handsome, sauve person in the world. Might as well have the confidence to do it.

3: Failure is nothing. - So you fail something. It's not the end of the world (unless you fail at stopping the end of the world.) But it's just a sign that you either: Don't know what you're doing, or shouldn't be doing what you are. Just brush it off, and get back in there.

4: Give up on things that aren't worth your time. - This is pretty straightforward. Don't waste your life trying to accomplish nothing - how does that make you happy? Just do what makes you happy - and in the end, you'll accomplish something. Just don't kill people.

So these are pretty pathetic, but easy to follow. But a close friend told me I'm too attached to them - which is entirely true, and got me thinking. I suppose I don't need them, or at least not 2-4, but it is hard to live without any philosophy. It's not that I'm TOTALLY lazy in life - it's just that I don't see/have the motivation to persue the end. At least not in a job sense. On a personal sense, there's things I will put effort into - because it's actually worth doing something, but I know that when I graduate, I'm going to have a degree with no practical experience - so I'll know about my field, but not how to do it. Hell, the type of job I'm going into I could actually have just walked out of highschool and lucked my way into. Regardless, this is not about my (woeful) career. What it is about is that following my idiotic and short-sighted philosophies make me happy. They're not air-tight, and I consider myself to actually be a compassionate person - just with a sarcastic twist. Is it wrong that I laugh off almost everything in my life? Not really. But it's not exactly a defence mechanism either - it's just who I am.

There's things I want in the world, don't get me wrong. But I'm not going to sell out to get them. I just wish I could be myself a little more often, and not be so subconscious about what I say. Meh.

In summary: Philosophies - not needed, but convienent to follow loosely. And I guess I have been clinging tightly to my own stupidity recently (I blame hell week X2 - that nearly killed me.). So really, I guess this isn't a rant per sey; more of a confession of my own inner conflict. Do I try and become "all that I can be", but not happy, or do I go with the flow and just live? I almost wish I didn't have any ambitions in life. But I do, and they'll be there until I die.

-Mark

3 comments:

Haurez said...

The philosophies sound good, but wouldn't you naturally put more effort into something you wanted? I think people only do the things they do is because people tell them that. Its all about maintaining that image whether you like it or not.

Mark said...

That's my point - motivation is the key. I don't put much effort into things I really don't care that much about. But if there's something I want and there's motivation to get it, I'll actually put the effort in to do it. As a result it makes me pretty black and white on what I care and don't care about, but it's an easy orginizational tool. But due to my low expectations already, it works for me. It probably wouldn't work with alot of other people.

Haurez said...

If I understand that right, you'd be the person who does squat and everyone gets mad at you thus people begin to not like you?