Okay, so my bajillion things HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED (including a relationship! I know what you're thinking.... how did this cynical bastard get a girlfriend? Well now he doesn't have one, so relax. The world is right again.), which leads me to rant freely again for a month. LOOKOUT FUCKERS!!
Okay. The smoking thing. I hinted at it previously, but now it's time to let the shit out. What the fuck is with smokers? It's got to be possibly the most unattractive thing a person can do to their image. Yes, please, let me make out with an ashtray or give myself cancer cause you're a douchebag. I mean, there are attractive people, but when I see them smoking, it fills me with disdain - first, you're fucking up my environment, my health, and you look like something that got shit out of a leather store. I mean, especially for females - where is the desire in talking like a trucker named Rosco and looking like you're 45 at 22? "It helps me relax." Well fuck you. Get the fuck away from my entranceway, and I don't want to see you while you smell like ass. It reflects badly enough that that shit sticks to my clothes just from me walking by you wads of cancer.
I hope you all burn yourselves to death. Or stay the fuck out of my sight.
-Mark
6 comments:
Enh. The relationship wasn't a big deal.
It doesn't surprise me that celebrities are turning to cancer to lose weight. While they're at it, they should walk around naked because we wouldn't want those "meaty" clothes adding on those 3 pounds.
I personally like the "I only smoke when I'm drinking" line. Classy broads.
meh, don't judge the smokers too hard. It's only one of many possible addictions out there, and you probably have some other addictions that aren't very attractive ;) haha
BTW, I forgot to mention, my family is having an xmas party on the 23rd (Friday). A bunch of my friends have already said they're coming. You in? feel free to bring garrett and some of your friends along.
I'm getting some serious internet-swag if I'm being invited to parties through my blog.
Meanwhile, I cannot goddamn stand it when people say "I only smoke when I drink." That does NOT excuse you for being stupid. Secretly I've always wanted those people to be smoking, and then try to drink brandy or something while the cigarette is still in their mouth, so that it sets the alcohol on fire and burns their face off. Cruel, I know, but whatever. I don't want to get cancer from a smoker's unrelenting urge to commit suicide slowly.
As for my own addictions, my diet of booze and hookers is far more attractive. But even that's stretching it, because I have no addictions; because I'm perfect.
I limit myself to converting the "new" talent. It's a tough life, but someone's got to break (ie: beat them) into the life.
Ughh, part of my soul is dying just as I type that.
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