Inconsistency

Despite the impression people may get from this blog, I'm actually an easy-going person in "reality".

However, that can sometimes result in me getting stepped all over. I, as I have ranted about in the past, do my best to be supportive, and etc etc. Alot of the times, I'll cancel plans for someone else, or switch my motives to hang out with someone. But what I really can't stand is when someone commits to me, and then decides to stand me up or do something else without notifying me. Emergencies I can understand (in retrospect), but I have a phone which is ALWAYS with me, it's not hard to leave me a message so I don't waste half my time waiting when I could be doing something more productive, in some instances, SLEEPING.

I have a busy schedule as it is, with 30 hours of class and two jobs (and possibly a third soon). It's just lucky for me that I don't sleep much more than 5-6 hours a night, sometimes 4, and recently, not sleeping for 62 hours in a row (not because I didn't want to). That extra time gives me a chance to use the midnight hours to catch up on all the things I'd usually do if I didn't have plans or work, but when people stand me up, I fuckin' hate it.

If I'm going to put the effort into seeing you, then the least you could do is tell me you can't make it or you'll be late - not just leaving without telling me. I'm a forgiving person since I'm too lazy to hold grudges, and I don't get expressively angry, because I don't want to say things I don't mean, plus I figure I'm bitter enough in my normal mood as it is. But just because I'm understanding doesn't give you the right to act like I won't give a shit if you keep standing me up - eventually I'll just stop caring, stop trying, then you won't have a person to talk to or hang out with. And then don't expect sympathy from me when you need something to talk about.

I'm not petty in the sense that I'll make plans with a person just to stand them up for revenge - that just makes you look like a bigger asshole - instead, avoiding the situation altogether keeps it from happening again. Then you're screwed. And if people think I have trouble cutting ties with people I know well, they're sadly mistaken. I refuse to be treated as a convienence person - the effort goes both ways.

That's all for now.

-Mark