Okay fuck it. I'm now breaking into the world of larger text adventures, only because I'm too lazy to constantly change the options. So enjoy being able to actually read my blog now. Let's move on.
So I'm riding home from work today, when I see a sign on a church yard. Usually I just laugh or scoff at how retarded the sayings are - because some idiotic proverb is not going to get me to join their cult. But this one got me pretty pissed off, for a variety of reasons...
It said "If evolution is real, then why do mothers still have only two hands?"
OH. I just stared at it for a bit - I suppose I shouldn't be that surprised, considering most churches get extremely arrogant when they know they can get away with bullshit like that. But first things first...
Okay yeah, it's mother's day soon, so I can see why they'd play off that angle. I dunno how the hell that'd get anyone to go there, but whatever. But more importantly, they're trying to guilt me into Mother's Day BS. Consumerism is pretty intertwined with Religion, especially the mainstream Christian ones. Look, I care about my mom, blah blah blah, but I really don't give a shit about Mother's Day. I don't live with her, and I'm pretty much anti-buying anyone something cause a company tells me too.. so Mother's Day really doesn't mean much to me - and yeah, some people will call me cheap, others a jerk, but they can fuck themselves. Unlike most people, I have convictions that I stick to. I hate religious and forced holidays - I'm more of the spontaneous nice/gifts. Anyway, getting off topic. So the sign was odd in that it promoted mother's day.
Oh, and let's not forget that it's pushing back women's rights. "Only two hands"... which pretty much implies that they do everything around the house/work, and take care of the kids. Yes, let's just shove them in a traditional role and thank them once a year for it. They're important for once a year. They do so much, but let's forget about it the rest of the year until we're guilted into thanking them in the most insincere way - by trying to buy their affection!
But most importantly about this sign, was it's little backhanded nadslap to politics. Let's take a relatively pointless holiday and make some rip at Evolution! Well if God knows everything and is all powerful, why the FUCK didn't he CREATE mothers with more than two hands? At least according to evolution one day she may have more.. but if she does, then she's an unholy hellish freak that God would shun. Because she wouldn't be made in his image. What a retarded theory, by the way. But hey, I'm sure creationism explains everything perfectly - except, you know, everything. I mean, don't give me this bullshit about God giving man the power to do whatever he wants, because he's all knowing and he would know beforehand that it'd turn into a major disaster where we kill each other over retarded shit (by the way, we've been killing ourselves for about 10,000 years. We're sure learning from our past).
If God really did create man, he fucked it up and then gave up, or God is a sadistic son of a bitch (maybe he's a cutter?).
-Mark
3 comments:
I don't believe in a God, nor do I not believe in a God. I don't know, and frankly, I have better things to do then attempt to find an answer that I'll never get. What my big problem is how the Religions operate on this plateau that they have the right to judge others based on their beliefs or non-beliefs.
To judge another without investigation. For example: Are all muslims terrorists? Of course not. Are all Americans fat? Of course not. But I see time and time again, religion fall back on mindless stereotypes, and then use their own faith to back it up... and honestly, that's not proof of anything other than shortsightedness.
But then it finds a way to control, and change the way everyone lives - and then my problems with it are risen.
My other example is the evolution/creationism debate. I don't particularly believe in either, only cause one is too complicated for me to learn (evolution), and the other just seems too simple (a sky wizard did it).
I like my happy medium of not knowing or caring. Plus, it allows me to burn both sides of the argument. And what else do I need but neutrality in order to continue this blog?
Muahaha.
I've seen some crazy shit on church signs over the years. Who, exactly, is coming up with these things? Is there a designated papal position whose sole job is writing bad puns and rhetoric? Is there a compendium of clever slogans passed between churches? Or does the responsibility fall to whichever unlucky altar boy has most recently spurned his master's advances? Questions, questions...
I always liked seeing Freedom Church as the name of a local soul-dead, conformist gathering spot here locally. Such irony.
And by the way, the idea of mothers evolving to have more than two hands as God created it was hilarious. Brilliant.
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