So I've been working full time like a chump now for a week and a half or whatever. The job isn't excessively terrible, although unbelieveably monotonous - but that's not what I'm bitching about today (I'll save that for later).
What I am bitching about is the simply awful names companies are coming up with for their products. I mean most computers are just a jumble of numbers and letters that nobody understands but assumes that higher numbers and more letters = better computer, but there's a lot of mindless shit names. I mean the "Happy Meal"? What the fuck. You won't be so happy after those burgers congeal and block your heart and you die...
Or how about cigarattes? "Lucky Strike"? The only luck you'll get from smoking that is getting cancer and living with cancer for years, watching your health deteroirate while your family gives up on the medicare cause you're "not worth it anymore". Lucky you.
But specifically, there are some AWFUL names for alcohol (I work at a liquor warehouse... go figure my rage would lead here). While piling booze on skids, My co-workers and I have found booze like "Fat Bastard", booze that requires a Mensa membership to spell, and my personal favourite: Golden Wedding.
Golden fucking Wedding? That sounds more like a porn movie, not a wine. Honestly, just think about that for a second. Go to your friends and say "Wanna have Golden Wedding tonight?"
Or what about an actual golden wedding? "You may now piss on the bride."
I can think of a billion better names for a wine. And another thing - if your wine is the colour of piss, that's not something I'd want to advertise.
-Mark
Good luck on guessing this post's song.
5 comments:
I dunno... depends on the purpose. If its to get drunk, does it really matter what it tastes like as long as it doesn't taste like ass?
You don't drink anything but Beer, Rum, and Vodka to get drunk.
The rest actually matter.
You'd be wrong on the rum.
You're saying you're never going to consider Rum and Cokes, the universal party drinks, to get drunk?
No wonder you're a virgin.
I didn't say I've never had those, and nor will I never drink it again. I just don't choose rum for drunken fun all the time.
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