Stealth: The Movie That Should Be Tossed into a Volanco

I recently sat down and subjected myself to 2 hours of visual torture - I watched Stealth.

Don't get me wrong - this COULD have been a good movie. Instead, for the first ten minutes we are greeted by ongoing explosions. Anyone with half a brain knew what we were in store for by the time the three pilots landed back on the ship. But it gets even better: We meet the characters, who are as predictable and stereotypical as ever: A black pilot named Henry Purcell (played by Jamiee Foxx) that listens to his "old-school" culture music while mixing in rap culture and of course: He's a womanizer. The other male pilot, Lt. Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas) is your tpyical "plays by his own rules" character, who takes idiotic risks and blatantly ignores his Captain's orders more than once. He's also a womanizer, because we wouldn't want originality in these characters. But there's a saving grace of predictability! If it's a team of three, and we've got a male minority, and a chauvinist male squadron leader. . . we need a female! But not just any female - she's got to be the stable, bookworm type that never does anything against regulation and never steps out of line. This character is named Kara Wade (Jessica Biel).

Of course, the audience is told the "plot": There's a new crewmember, but it's an experimental AI. Only Ben raises an objection to this, saying that war shouldn't be mechanical - the only thing I agreed with him on in the whole movie. Regardless, on the first flyout with "Eddie" the Robot pilot, they get put on an emergency mission to bomb a terrorist building.

All goes well, and then on the way back, lightning strikes Eddie, and his wiring goes haywire. What a shocking surprise. Eddie starts thinking differently, becomes obsessed with some encrypted file that doesn't exist, and on the next mission, goes insane and disobeys orders. When the three crewmembers try and stop him, everything "exciting" (see: Predictable) happens. Henry tries to take down Eddie, but instead crashes into a mountain. And while Kara is flying through that, debris catches her plane and eventually, her wing rips off, forcing her to eject and land.... in none other than North Korea. How delightfully convienent for more explosive action sequences!

Ben then is instructed to bring back the insane war mongering robot plane, which results in the explosion of a fuel blimp in one of the most gag-enducing scenes in the movie since the beginning of time. Shortly after, Eddie and Ben engage in a dogfight with two Russian fighter planes, and shoot them down. That's the last we hear about the Russians. I suppose The Russian government doesn't mind two unannounced American jets shooting down their fighter jets in Russian No-Fly Zones?

As if this movie wasn't bad enough, director Rob Cohen pushes a romance subplot in the middle of this. Ben, the chauvinist, 'loves' Kara, the good girl. And of course, she's willing to risk it all for him. Excuse me while I gag again, but that just seems too Pearl Harbour for my tastes.

I won't ruin the entire movie and tell you how it ends, but 10/1 odds you could guess without ever watching it and you would probably be right. There's more plotholes, such as why a robot plane would need music, why nobody has to face the consequences of blowing up buildings, or attacking North Korea AND Russia without explanation.

The special effects in Stealth are decent. But they are used in such cliche ways it makes it unbearable to watch. And the amount of handheld camera shots make the attempt at suspence and discomfort seem like a mockery. It also completely ruins one fight scene, where the camera shakes and pans so much the viewer can't see what's going on at all.

It seems like Rob Cohen has ran out of creative juice since The Skulls in 2000. Since then he's thrown out mindless action flicks, and Stealth is no exception. All in all, any attempt at a moral point is lost in the weak characters, terrible plot, and numerous holes. If you like feeling your IQ drop during the course of the movie, then by all means see this immediately. Otherwise, you'd get more intellectual stimulation from watching the Red Shirts die in Star Trek: TOS.

-Mark

Once again

I realized my life is a spinning web of lies. I frequently forget this, so it's like a kick to the junk everytime that realization comes back.

Just thought to let you know. At least everyone lives in their own personal lies - to themselves, telling themselves they're happy. Nobody's really happy - just not sad.

-Mark

Hey, America, do this

As a Canadian, I feel it is my duty to tell American to fix their election douchebaggery. Now it's too late to solve the last 8 years (including the years we haven't lived yet), but you can make up for it in one shot:

Click here for your 2008 Presidential Solution

-Mark

Ctrl-V

Everyone do it in the comments.

Mine:

Peter - "Our way of life is puritanism touched by orgy. French Canadians' way of life is one of orgy touched by puritanism" says:
i almost entered a grape stomping competition yesterday
Mark - One shitty season down, Sudbury to come says:
because you wanted to further destroy the shattered dignity humanity holds on to?

Classic. Your turn.

-Mark

Dear Emo Girl: Shut up.

I stumbled upon this crime of the internet today.

Since when did people feel webspace was for cluttering up with their utterly pointless, pointless lives? This is an especially bad case, where she literally tells everyone everything she damn well did. Including 11 dollars.

I mean, not only was I infatuated with how terrible it was, I was astonished someone could actually lead a life so uninteresting and still find time to bore the rest of the people that read it. Literally, some of the things written are so ridiculously uninteresting, it's hard to properly channel my rant here.. Examples:

"At least I had a good cry session twice yesterday. Was sick of people yelling. We didn't do anything at Angela and Eric's wedding so I was free to roam. Went outside and stayed away from everyone. Go anti-socialness."

"First period- was boring, we did presentations for our POW's. I think my group passed. Who knows? Found out Starr and I have a lot in common and that Chaz eats icky Power Bars.
Second period- still did nothing."

"Ack! School is sooooo stressful. I just wanted to choke a biotch. And I swear, if one more person asks if I'm going to go out with David again or if I like Julian there will be hell to pay! Do these people not understand that I have a boyfriend, whom I'm very in love with? Hmm? Do they? Apparently not. Stupid people!!"

I'll spare you all the rest of the crap, cause anyone telling people each period of their 10TH GRADE CLASSES clearly needs a life and actual friends.

I continue to read that crap because I want to laugh when her and her douchebag boyfriend split up. Yeah, that's some real "love" you had there. Of course, chances are she'll die of longwindedness before that happens.

Keeping you educated. Luckily, I've left her some handy tips on how to improve what is otherwise an internet black hole of pointlessness.

-Mark

MSN titles of file murder

I love comparing deleting files to history's greatest tragedies.

Read:

Justin says:
i think it might be time for an mp3 culling.

Justin says:
but what tragedy to name it?

Mark - Fuck it says:
Morpandy

Justin says:
mp3 hiroshima?

Justin says:
it is the anniversary, after all

Mark - Fuck it says:
Pearl Mp3

Mark - Fuck it says:
Mp3 Harbour - the day that will live in the Recycle Bin

Justin says:
hehe

Justin says:
mp3-nam

Justin says:
operation: iraqi freedom

Mark - Fuck it says:
mp3 hiroshima would be if you delete them ALL

Justin says:
hehe, true

Mark - Fuck it says:
Irap3

Justin says:
lol

Justin says:
operation mp3-freedom?
Justin says:
im doing this to liberate hard drive space

Mark - Fuck it says:
we have some insurgency in the folder known as mp3, there's a known terrorist called All American Rejects, we've got to take him down

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
support the troops, bitches

Mark - Fuck it says:
there will be civilian causalities

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
hahahahaha

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
shit, i think some of the mp4s went to hide in the caves

Mark - Fuck it says:
We're gonna smoke em out

Cause obviously, deleting mp3s is comparable to what the states did to the middle east.

-Mark

LiveJournal "friends"

I'm sorry people, but if you have a LiveJournal account, you're getting slammed by me. However, the plus side is, if you have a LiveJournal account, you're probably too full of shit to read what I say, or you'll just be like "He doesn't understand what it's like to be" (at this point I've stopped listening and giving a shit).

Anyway, if you have "Friends" on your livejournal account, unless you know them in PERSON and are actually FRIENDS with them, they're not actually friends... having a bunch of internet losers that are obsessed with this cult mentality is bullshit. LiveJournal is NOT a place to claim your popularity. In fact, LiveJournal itself is almost fucking pointless, unless you're going to make fun of other idiots who have delusional visages of thinking others care about their worthless lives.

MAKE REAL FRIENDS - Internet ones don't count. You're not popular if you never leave your room. You're not popular if you don't actually know real people. Social interaction may be bullshit, but it's better than faking it.

Idiots.

-Mark

Life advice from some guy I know

.....but most of you don't. Actually, probably all of you don't know him. Anyways, while talking about avoiding conversations that you don't care about, he dropped this gem:

Justin --> "you know what really grinds my gears? when you can't find the droids you're looking for!" says:
rules:
1. everybody sucks
2. everybody lies
3. nobody gives a shit

So true. Thank you, demi-god of conversational avoidance!

-Mark

Don't enroll at UWO

So my fucking University cancelled the class I set my entire goddamn schedule around. I'd go on about how pissed off I am, but I think just pasting this email would more accurately describe how pissed off I am.

------
Fuckers cancelled one of my classes WITHOUT fucking notifying me. One I was enrolled in. AND IT WAS THE BEST FUCKING CLASS I HAD. Now I'm 0.5 credits short, and my schedule is FUCKED. This is fucking horseshit. I might as fucking well drop out for all I care now. Fucking University pieces of shit can fucking go and fuck themselves. They've fucking charged me for a full year and then they fucking drop a fucking course. These fucktards have no fucking soul. My schedule was pisspoor as it was first sem, now it's gonna get fucking worse. I set my fucking schedule up around this fucking course and the assholes fucking fuck me like a fucking fuckpile of fucking fuckers. I fucking hate this shithole University.

Mark
------

Yeah, I'm fucking pissed off.

-Mark

A plague that must be stopped

It's time I warned the faithful readers (all three of them) of a deadly plague that is crushing the inner souls of most people under 40 - and it's called Soft Rock.

Stores will pump this crap out while the youthful people that are essentially faceless lackeys in a heartless world have to suffer this for hours and hours. Literally, this kind of non-offensive, non-talented, non-lyrically unique, pointless music that causes many University students to hate where they work is killing any creativity that could be used.

For example: Someone could have a genius idea to solve world hunger, but that idea is sucked away by the fact that the shitty "Soft Rock" that rants about loving some assbag or leaving some assbag enrages them - resulting in the genius with the idea to NOT want to help the world when all it'll turn out is that crap.

Either that, or the idea becomes lost from the mind-numbing effect that music has. I am a firm believer that this music literally kills a part of you inside, taking away what makes us human. As youthful individuals that the world endlessly says they will to become the next leaders and decision makers, why would you destroy what makes us hopeful for a non-bleak future when you hear basically one song played on repeat, sung by different people that STILL sound the same?

I hearby raise that the University and College students with any talent or hope for the future, or with an idea to progress the world, to band together and ransack any building that plays that crap.

Violence is the only solution now - we've gone beyond the stage of negioating for rationality.

STOP THE PLAGUE BEFORE IT DESTROYS THE HUMAN INSIDE YOU!

-Mark, leading the anti-soft-rock charge.

This is "news"

A few links to chew around and wonder why we care.

Yeah.... um, wtf? Who's guilty about not reading history books in the summer?


You've got to be kidding me. "Oh no, my source of income will run out! I'll only have my millions of dollars to fall back on!"


Dunno what to say about this. Except: So?


Wow. If you get that pissed about an email error over a book, you need to get laid.


Desparate is right. It's a fucking book. (Yes, I'm harping on HP alot, but fuck off, people are douches).


Am I the only one tired of these stupid health news articles that shoot down something 99% have never tried and would never give a shit enough TO try? Here's the answer: Wanna live longer? Don't die young. Asshats. Sidenote: Like how they spelled "Aging" wrong in the headline?

-Mark (and yes, the picture is Carlos Mencia from his new show on Comedy Central).

Microsoft hates its own products, and me, apparently

Okay, I'm not a fan of Microsoft's immeasureable evil and plague of shitty products that infect the internet and our operating systems, slowly destroying our morals, souls, and anything else that Microsoft can take from us and exploit, all the while making backdoor deals to keep us in endless pain when we operate our computers. That's the baseline that we're starting on, people. I have done many things to make my shitty OS (Windows ME, which took me 2 years to get working with minimal kinks) work well, and it's still bitchy from time to time, thanks mainly to Microsoft hating the patches and fixes other people make because they're tired of dealing with the Blue Screen of Death 400 times a day.

I've wanted to boycott Microsoft shit many times, but unfortunately I can't negate myself to 5% of the computer world, so I choose to hate (outspokenly) certain products that blow incomprehenseable chunks. Like Internet Explorer, which I ditched almost in its entirety for Firefox when IE stopped loading buttons, links, and took 400 hours to download anything, when it decided it was going to download shit, or load Quicktime, or basically even load my fucking homepage. I've dealt with everything that can go wrong in that shitty ass program, like the about:blank error, endless virus attacks, and IE's crack addiction that nearly spread to my RAM. Turns out my motherboard was the dealer. Anyway, I digress. The point was, I stopped using IE for Firefox.

However, I'm binded by the horrors that is MSN Messenger. I'd use AIM (I have AIM, but I'm not on it frequently) instead, but switching from Microsoft to AOL is like slicing your wrists with a knife instead of a razorblade. It hurts, and it's a slow bleed that you can't stop. Also, the thought of slicing my wrists makes we want to pass out, so let's move on. I also have Yahoo IM, but fuck that shit. I might as well just reload ICQ on my computer and talk to absolutely nobody, because nobody uses useless shit programs that nobody else is ever on. It pains me to say this, but sadly, MSN Messenger is the best chatting program out there as of right now. But that's like finding a penny in a pile of horseshit after searching for hours - it's not something you go and tell your friends about.

Well, as I eventually get to my point, I was using MSN 7.0.0777, whatever the fuck that version that is. There's a new one out, 7.0.0813 and 7.0.0816, which after much procrastinating, I finally decided to take a stab at. I'd patched 0777 to my liking, which meant MSN Messenger without any trace of MSN. Well, it updated..... kind of. After telling me I needed IE 6.0, which I already had (solely for the purpose of having 0777), I tried running some other patches and programs to get around the fact that Microsoft apparently refuses to recognize it's own sister programs on the same computer. I got a "we've added all our useless shit you'll never use" updated 7.0.0813, and I promptly tried to patch it. However, the patch I was using was meant for 7.0.0816, so I either had to live with the useless added shit 7.0.0813 or find 0816, which I set off to do. I found 0816 on MSN.com (link removed because I hate Microsoft and would never encourage anyone to go there), and Dled it. Tried to install it and got a nice "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message. This seemed to be more persistant than the other, so I decided I'd simply return to 0777 and live with the patch I had that I knew worked. After all, I wasn't having any problems with it.

WELL, Microsoft then apparently turned it's hate on itself, giving me the "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message, even though I'd already used 0777 on my computer, as recently as 5 minutes before trying to update. Well I then made the mistake of uninstalling MSN altogether and trying to start over. No dice, same message. So I decided to try and update to 6.0........again. That didn't take either.

By now, my blood had risen a few degrees in temperature. I had experienced Microsoft pointlessly not updating it's own products and demanding to update to them endlessly, but I got pissed and COMPLETELY DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. This was a small moral victory for me, as I was not sad to see it leave my computer. However, it was short lived as I need MSN to contact all my people (I don't own a cell phone, because I also hate phones.... but soon I will be forced to own one, if I ever want to escape this place and live free), etc etc etc. So I tried getting 6.0 from scratch. No dice. 400 restarts later, I once again DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. (It feels so good to write that). After pissing around, exchanging punches with my keyboard (which I'm surprised is still working.... I beat on this mother like nothing else, and it just keeps working. Gotta love it), this is how I got back to where I fucking started:

1: Tried installing an old messenger version (6.2)
2: That took, but then it turns out Microsoft doesn't want people using their products to actually get anywhere, so they wouldn't let me sign in without updating.
3: Deleted MSN 6.2
4: Found an old version of IE (5.5)
5: Installed IE 5.5
6: Attempted to update to 6.0, which for some reason actually happened this time.
7: Downloaded 7.0.0777, and installed it.
8: Saw all the useless shit, ran messpatch and cleaned it up.

That took about 15 minutes. All in all, I wasted about an hour and a half getting absolutely fucking nowhere. So after all my annoyances with MSN, it seems it has bested me until I lose my mind and firebomb MSN corporate offices (see: Newspaper headline August 2006: Crazed University Student Frees Humanity from Microsoft's Oppression, Gets 4 hookers to celebrate), but I have since decided this:

I'm never updating microsoft products again until I ABSOLUTELY have to (eg: It stops working because it's too old (a la 6.2)), or until I get a new computer. Which will never happen, because I love Sexlexia, even though it's an abusive relationship.

In summation: Microsoft blows, send them letters filled with locusts or semen or something else unpleasant.

-Mark

Sellouts

So I went and saw War of the Worlds last week, and I was actually fairly impressed with it. The story wasn't all that different, although there was some key changes about the invasion of aliens that was cool. However, it's come to my attention that Steven Speilberg has no fucking CLUE how to end a movie.

Sure, there was things I loved in the movie - like the lasers that turned people into dust, and the scene where it was raining clothes. Gold. And the special effects were very well done, but then it's like he just didn't know how to end the movie, or how shitty human warfare would defeat an obviously superior force..... so he shat himself and decided that they just "died". He tried to throw together a nonsensical explanation a la Morgan Freeman's narration, which actually had the word "micro" in it, which either meant the aliens died via bacteria, or that humans were micro and won via the aliens "forgetting" to turn on their shields or some other nonsensical bullshit.

And that fucking kid DIED. You can't just have him run into an explosion, disappear for the rest of the movie and have him randomly appear at the end alive and fine and there before the main character and his daughter. He's DEAD... half the fucking army he ran after died, but he survived with no protective clothing (not that it would have helped anyway), no weapons, and no transportation? Bullshit, he's dead.

Steven Spielberg can make good movies (Jaws, but that was 30 years ago), but when you forget how to end a movie or end it without a climax, it really ruins the whole thing.

I'd rate the movie in stars, but fuck that shit - watch it yourself, nobody gives a shit what I rate the movie out of. I still recommend watching it, just be prepared to be pissed at the end of it.

-Mark

Underage drinking is not a problem

Underaged drinking is not a problem, people. If a minor or an 18 year old wants to get into clubs/bars/or just get booze, chances are they'll find a way. Fake IDs are apparently not hard to find, especially if you have an older sibling of the same gender, but I don't understand why people get so upset about this.

Yeah, some 16 year old may be trashed - yes, they don't know their own limits, and will probably do something stupid - but hell, we've ALL gone through that stage as kids. What the real concern is keeping your douchebag underagers from drinking and DRIVING. That's a far more serious problem. A bunch of minors drinking at some party in a basement or backyard is nothing to be pissed about, especially since usually they're just having a good time and that's that - nobody's endangered unless someone drinks too much (fuck em, lowering the population anyway). But if they get behind a wheel intoxicated they endanger far more people. Parents, if you want to control your dumbass kid, let the idiot drink, just drop them off at the party and pick them up when you damn feel like it. Whenever I'm out to get trashed, I take my bicycle or a cab. It's simple.

So next time your kid is going out and you think they're getting hammed, just fucking tell them you don't care, as long as they don't drive. Shit, there's more important things in the world to worry about.

-Mark

This is just stupid

Now it's been awhile since I blogged, but I've been a strangely good mood (also known as an ego trip) for the last few weeks. However, it couldn't last forever until the media buggered it. This article states that some 80 year old KKK member just got sentenced to 3 consecutive 20 year sentences for manslaughter committed back in 1960.

This just seems redundant and pointless to me. Let's say for example, he manages to live through one of his 20 year sentences - he's now 100 and fucking useless to everyone, but there's not a goddamn chance in HELL he's living to 140 years old to survive his sentence.

Now I'm definitely not an advocate for capital punishment (It depends on the crime, in my opinion), but sending an 80 year old to prison for 60 years is obviously a waste of taxpayers money. Why not just either hire one guy to watch over him or have him under house arrest? It's not like he's capable of doing anything anymore. Or hell, just kill the old bastard. It's not like he gave a damn while being a racist prick in the 60's.

-Mark

Open your ears, jackass

I'm back after another week-long delay. I've been playing alot of baseball which makes my blogging schedule inconsistent. If you don't like it, eat me, or send me money and I'll post more often.

Anyways, now I'm back ranting about people who DON'T GODDAMN LISTEN. I'm not referring to people who PURPOSELY don't listen, like for example: Person X is talking to Person Y about something pointless, and aren't getting the hint about shutting up. Person Y responds with "Yeah", "Okay", "Uh huh", "Yup", Any varition of 'yes', or my personal favourite, "Oh yeah, well, you gotta!"

I'm not talking about that. Although Person X should get the hint we don't care.

I'm talking about when someone is giving you USEFUL information about something you MAY or ARE interested in, like a time of an event, news that effects them, or something else. Having no life, I wouldn't know what people are interested in. But once again, today I go to watch the Blue Jays game, to which I see the TV which is ALWAYS on and my family is ALWAYS watching something (I hardly watch TV.. somewhere along the lines of 0 hours a week, except for baseball maybe once a week if I'm around). I know my family likes the Blue Jays, so I go to them and INFORM them with the following transcript:

Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "THE GAME IS ON IN 20 MINUTES."

At this point I just walked away - I'm not wasting my breath again. And it's not like they couldn't hear me the first three times, since I was maybe 10 feet away. I could give up one, since they have the TV loud enough to vibrate the damn floor (On The Report on Business Channel, no less... which I have been informed they don't even LISTEN to, they read the ticker at the bottom..... WHY DO YOU NEED SOUND THEN??), but if you're not going to listen, then fuck if I'm going to repeat it. Normally when I leave my room it's either to: Get food, Leave the House, or Go the Bathroom. So if I'm actually going to SAY something it's usually relevant.

And granted I don't particularly speak clearly, but I blame that on my English heritage. Have you ever heard those people talk? I was doomed from the start (and no, I don't have an accent - only one in my family without it). But jebus, it's not that hard to hear something when you're doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALL DAY.

Another thing I hate that's related. When they say "What?" then when you repeat it, they friggin cut you off half way through! Screw you, if you don't care, don't ask for me to repeat it! Or when they ask me a stupid assed question and criticize me when I give a short, consice answer (sorry for being effecient, jackass). If my day was "uneventful", then that means NOTHING NOTEWORTHY HAPPENED. I'm not going to say "Well at lunch I went to the lunch room and open the wrapper of my hamburger, which was wrapped 4 times over, and I had the toppings of blah blah blah." Why? Cause it's not NOTEWORTHY.

Also while I'm at it, I friggin HATE it people start pressuring me to do things in my life. If I'm faced with a situation outside of the "nucleus" of this family that I'm really not part of, they start ENDLESSLY giving me HORRIFIC advice over what to do. I've had situations where someone borrowed something from me and I needed it back by a certain date, which didn't happen, so they start telling me to call, and call, and do this, do that, until finally I get the "gem" of advice about contacting my professor (it was a class book) about why this person has my book and how I can't get it back. So let me get this straight: Being a whiney bitch to my prof about my FRIEND not getting my book back (which I did, in time for the exam too), will solve ANYTHING. What stupid horseshit.. why do I live with idiots?

-Mark

You'd think so, wouldn't you.

Okay, after a week-long delay + 3 days for my drinking binge (I turned 20 on May 28), I have returned! Missed me? Of course not.

So I've got this Audio Visual job for the Canadian Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences. The Congress is some 10 day thing they're holding on my University campus where people present REALLY boring shit (I had to sit in one of the conferences to make sure the machine was working fine and the presenter was talking about FONTS for an hour... FONTS??? COME ON!!! Who gives a shit where Times New Roman came from?) Anyway, there's 24 man staff of A/V techies (myself being one of them) and we're posted in some of the buildings and have to hook stuff up for the delegates if they booked things like computers, video projectors, etc etc. It's really the easiest job I've ever had.. I worked from 7-3 today and After 10:15 I literally did nothing. In fact, I fell asleep for awhile).

Anyways, while I can't complain about that, what I WILL complain about is the bus passes. All of the delegates get a complimentary bus pass for the all routes for the 10 days, but the friggin' employees don't. Come ON, we WORK for you, you can't spring to give us the damn passes? I have to get up at 5:30 AM for this job, and at that point I'm far too incoherent to find 2.50 for the bus, or 5 bucks if I don't feel like walking home (which I don't, ever.. too far). Hell, it's a miracle I remember to wear pants before walking out the door. So why not give us a damn bus pass? It's not like the University doesn't have mad stacks of cash already, since they are a campus of 40K students and they only need about 2K to break even each year... but they can give these damn delegates a bus pass? Horseshit! I have to get to work, and apart from eating all your food while I'm there, I don't wanna spend money (I actually just take the food, since it's on tables everywhere).

Luckily for me, I know a guy who knows a guy (who thought I'd ever use that phrase?) and he was handing out the bus passes, so I got one. Take THAT, whoever decided against giving staff bus passes!

-Mark.

Do You Realize?

Y'know what really pisses me off? People with douchebag MSN names. I can understand people bitching about something that happened in their life (and putting like "person X is a douchetard") or being frustrated at something and going off in caps-locked swearing fests... I'm not talking about that, those are great. I'm also not talking about how people will put amusing quotes or just their name, those are sensical and sometimes comical.

I'm talking about the douches that put shit like "I love my idiotic boyfriend/girlfriend/famous person/band/barbeque grill/etc". Nobody gives a shit who you love or why, don't clutter up my precious MSN viewage with crap I don't care about. Obviously the world should bow down to my every demands anyway, so stop this plague of caring and affection for inaminate objects already.

Moving along. I also hate when people put song lyrics in their name - jebus, I've done it one or two times but at least my lyrics made absolutely no sense. Course, I even hated my own lack of originality when I did it. But seriously. I don't want to read some shit that NOBODY understands... And if I'm being contradictory, it's because you're too stupid to see my minute difference.

Bottom line: When you use MSN, don't give me something heartwarming unless I actually care about you (and I care about so few people), don't give me song lyrics because I'll block you, and HAVE AN INTERESTING OR AMUSING NAME!!!

Jackasses.

-Mark

Life sucks

Just in case you forgot.

-Mark

Myspace = electronic garbage

So I'm back with yet another rant from hell. This time, I will break down the "phenom" that is MSN Myspace.

What the hell is up with everyone "wanting" or "needing" to get a "myspace" so they can tell all their idiot friends about their crappy lives and their mundane, megar, useless daily activities ("well today I got up and had a piece of toast"... so what?). Even if they say anything mildly interesting, don't show me pictures of you doing nothing. I'll get back to this in a moment.

However, I'd probably hate Myspace less if it wasn't affiliated with Microsoft. MSN/Microsoft has a knack for turning everything they create into a buggy POS, and failing that, something destructively monopolizing or child-killingly evil. Now yes this is hypocritical of me since I use Windows ME, possibly the worst system Microsoft has ever created, but I've learned it's throws and with the helpful patches from people who also hate but won't update, and some technical lerndening (I spelt that wrong on purpose), I've actually got this bitch running smoothly. Anyway, Microsoft's "let's ID with the teens and youthful money-irresponsible idiots" Myspace is just yet another attempt to create a monopoly, of..free..space. Hey, I don't have to explain my unfounded hatred and irrational disgust with MSN. It's bad enough I use their Messenger because it's the "best" instant messaging program, but once again, I patched the hell out of it to destroy any traces of Microsoft "helpfulness" (the search bar, ads, logos, stupid winks and nudges... GONE).

Anyways, in short: Myspace sucks, don't be a fanboy/fangirl and waste my ocular superiority by having me read your crap.

-Mark