The Angry Dome

Out of Anger.

2006-09-01T15:28:00.000-04:00

Well that didn't last long. I've got too much movie ADD and not enough inspiration to maintain a blog about movies. Especially since I've reviewed two in the last month, and watched: about 15-20. I'll never catch up, and it's just the beginning.

So after a 20 months, almost to the day, the Angry Dome will be sputtering to a close, replaced by an emptiness that can't be filled... unless of course, you visit my OTHER blog. There my movie-rich heritage will continue, but in a different light - and one that will be updated more frequently, and with more of a point.

This place had a great run, and here, on post 121, I pay tribute to the fallen comrade, The Angry Dome. He blazed out on all saddles, waged an insurgency against stupidity and douches for 19 months, before falling victim to the fact he'd realized he'd ran out of things to hate (the maximum apparently being about 110 individual hatreds). There were good ones along the way - remember that one about slitting wrists, or stupid teens, or that time I schooled those emo lunatics? Yeah, good times. Oh! And where I made fun of New Orleans and everyone hated me for it? Classic.

Well, I guess this is where the blog hits the execution squad - but this squad is lazy - instead of burying the body, they'll leave it to fester, to rot, to see how many people still visit, and use it as a shameless plug to the NEW, ACTUALLY INTERESTING blog!

And so, we say goodnight. RIP The Angry Dome: You inspired me to hate more than ever before, and was ultimately replaced with a newer model.

-Mark

Solid as a Brick

2006-08-18T11:48:00.000-04:00

Brick, first of all, was a really low budget film made in 2005, but didn't really get any exposure until this summer. And it's a damn shame, too.

Joseph Gordon-Levitt (Third Rock from the Sun) stars in the film as a highschool "detective". He's a face most people would recognize but not know his name, which I think works really well for the film. His solid acting helps keep the film together, although the supporting cast doesn't really slouch either.

The film details a murder of his ex-girlfriend, which inevitably leads him to the underground world of cocaine (ie: Brick) which is ran through it seems like people that are either seniors in highschool or just graduated. Although that part of the plot seems kind of ridiculous (that 18 year olds could run that), it's really one of the very few flaws of the film, and it still fits.

The dialogue of Brick is sharp, as the film is pushed on by the script rather than the camera. The action is more cued by character's conversations instead of their movements, which I'm not always a big fan of, but it still works here. The only gaff I found was that all the characters, especially Pin and Brendan, talk really quick, so if you're not paying attention or space out for a few minutes (like I did at one point), you'll miss a swath of information and find yourself confused for awhile. This quick-talking is of course a homage to the film-noirs in American cinema from the late 40's and early 50's, where everyone spoke a billion miles an hour. In many ways, Brick is a throwback to those classic films, specifically in dialogue and action cues. And it still works.

The highschool setting seems a bit off-putting for a film-noir, but again, the plot demands it and it still works. The adult supervision (which is usually lacking in most films about teen-adventure) is actually THERE, but the fragile balance is maintained so what the characters do doesn't seem ridiculous.

One character that I absolutely found to be the most believeable was Tugger. Not only did he surprise me, but as the hothead bodyguard, his actions and what he said was completely justified in the film. He didn't step outside of his character, which can be found frequently in teen-films (and frankly, sucks).

The shots of the film were also well put together, which once again was a nice surprise for a low budget flick. Director Rian Johnson did a standup job balancing artistic shots with the standard, so every now and then, the audience with a keen eye get a treat. A few specifically stick out in my mind, one of a close up of Brendan's face on the right side of the screen as a car rushes by, and another of Tugger, Pin, and Brendan in a basement looking up at the cieling listening to noises. Both of those definitely convey a message during the action, which jump in place to the character's words (these specific shots have no dialogue). It's there where the audience can just get into the heads of the characters, and there's many shots like that.

All in all, one could never guess this film was made on a budget of only 500K. It grossed only 2 million (US) and about 600K (UK), but that's still a smash success for such a little film.

If you ever see this film around and are a fan of mysteries, I highly recommend Brick... but just don't space out. You'll probably need to watch it twice.

-Mark

Next: Hard Candy

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Sequel

2006-08-09T19:08:00.000-04:00

So it's been a little while since I dropped in with actual content for the "new" site, but of course, I've watched movies like no tomorrow between those empty weeks. My life's been a roller coaster of monotomy, so pretty much it's been going in a straight line. But enough about my hilariously depressing life - onto the movies!

So today, I'll be discussing Pirates of the Caribbean : Dead Man's Chest. [Spoilers ahoy.]

First of all, this movie was highly advertised, so it's not like people haven't heard of it. With the whole "blockbuster" sequel they tried to tout, it had some big shoes to fill after Curse of the Black Pearl. And let me tell you, it fails to get even close.

It's produced by Disney to start, which typically ensures a hammed-up moral point that's "positive". And as usual, there are clear cut good and bad characters, with nobody really floating in the middle, save Jack Sparrow (this being established in the first movie, so it fits). Will Turner is the protypical male superhero, that's made to identify with the audience while inexplicably having ridiculous on-the-spot talents that are just convienent to the plot, yet never previously explained (ie: the quickness of him figuring out the dice game, and consequently playing well without any learning curve, against the best player). Elizabeth is actually pretty forgotten within the whole film, probably only covering 20-30 minutes of actual "development". She's seen at the beginning - forgotten for nearly 45 minutes, thrown into a relatively unexplained scene, forgotten again, and then put in the film another 45 minutes later. She never takes a dominating role in the film, which is a huge drawback considering she's the main female protagonist, and the one the female audience is supposed to identify with. But when in scenes with either Jack or Will, she doesn't ever take a dominant role, instead the attention being shifted to the males. I'm not exactly surprised by this, considering this is typical Disney to push the female into a supporting role. I can only think of a few - actually, one movie that doesn't do this (Mulan, which is flawed in its own ways).

Jack is clever and smarmy in his own way, but I completely didn't feel his character the way I did in the Curse of the Black Pearl. In the first film, he was clever and smarmy, and funny in a not stupid way. In Dead Man's Chest, he seems overdone. The one-liners aren't particularly funny, nor are his supposedly amusing actions. Instead the pickles he gets into are more caused by stupidity, and result in an even more unbelievable result. The fearlessness he seems to have in the first movie (yes I know he runs a lot, but it's more like a tease in the first, not in the second) is forgotten until some ridiculous concept of his galant bravery is crammed literally into the last 20 seconds he's on screen, when he's stepping into the mouth of the beast. Given the way he acts throughout the movie, it'd seem more likely and plausable that he'd sacrafice everyone else to save himself, not the other way around.

While the CG is impressive, particularly with Davy Jones' crew and the sea-monster, it's basically all the film has to offer. I enjoy the work done on the ship as it dives, and as it falls apart from the monster. But the plot itself can't support anything, and the CG can't carry the movie. The most aggrevating thing about the plot that I found was that it danced around, never really explaining half of what was supposed to be going on. While time is supposed to pass in the film, I never really get the impression of how much, especially since everything seems to happen within about the course of a month, when in context of the film, one could roughly expect 1-2 years to pass. With such a large disparity in contuinity, I easily found myself frustrated at the assumed logic the film took. Will's supposed to be on this ship, so they're discussing it - and in the next scene, he's a crewmember of said rival ship? And how in the hell would he come up with such ridiculous plans so quickly? There's one thing for cunning, but Will is more of an all-action guy, with a knack for logic - he can fight and he can catch onto people's intentions quickly, but nowhere does it seem to indicate he's one ot make plans properly - especially since from the first movie, he wasn't even a seaman, so it's natural to assume he'd only have a fringe knowledge of vessels and the intricaces of running it, even after a year.

The editing bothered me as well, but this goes into the timeline. However, the shameless hamming of a triology also bothered me, espeically considering this film was weak overall and pretty nonsensical. I don't care what they're doing in the third film, although I'm sure that it'll be just as stupid and ridiculously contrived as this adventure.

And two more things - the fight scenes dragged on way too long, particularly the spinning wheel one. Amusing? Yes, but it didn't deserve the 15 minutes of screen time it got. Second: Norrington. Wow, how could anyone make a main antagonist so underdeveloped? I had no real idea why he was hating Jack. As far as I was concerned, he was some goon the Imperials hired to get the heart of Davy Jones (because they want it why?).

All in all, the film's grotesque budget of 225 million dollars was in my eyes, a failure. It turns out all that money was spent on stars and CG, instead writing a solid script and getting a believable plot.

-Mark

Reviewing Brick next.

The Angry Dome takes a step into the well-known

2006-07-24T18:57:00.000-04:00

Clearly, I have no idea about the kind of focus this blog should have, although a consistent theme of anger has been throughout. I've ranted on everything from my idiotic generation to how much "higher" education is bullshit to politics... to well, everything that ever slightly caused me a few moments to fester a rant in my mind, mostly on my walk home from University/work/wherever the hell I happened to be. But alas, it never found the niche I wanted... my one and a half year experiment lead me to nowhere I really wanted to be, blog-tastic wise. I mean sure, there were some good rants here and there, but for anyone that actually read my blog religiously (see: nobody), there was 4-to-1 disappointment to internet justice ratio of satisfaction.

So after this.. er.. 14? 13? 15? month whoring of senseless society hate, I must alas bid adios to this blog...

and say hello to the new one that will be taking it's place.

Yes, I'm not deleting this blog, nor editing anything I said; rather, just pretending that it was never there and stumbling blindly to my new horizon of theme-related ramblings on one of basically two things I know a shit-ton about: Films (The other being baseball, which isn't worth blogging about since I don't overanalyze that).

Yes, Films.

Allow me to explain. I'm a film major - not the kind that makes films (well, not specifically), but the jackass that analyzes them until he hates them - and sadly, reads way more into films then the average person. And now, the only conceivable use I can find for the 25 grand I'm throwing away for this pointless degree is to pass on my analytical expertise, for free, obviously, cause it's not like anyone would pay for that. Unless you're Ebert. And you're not.

Luckily for you, I watch an absolute ton of movies. I'm way more of a man for contemporary (see: "recent", post-my birthdate) cinema, and my personal collection spans 400+ movies, most from the last 3 years. I'll do my best to offer my opinions on every film I see, which will be in totally unrandom order, some probably long-since released.

I'm a big fan of psychological thrillers, movies such as anything made by M. Night and Christopher Nolan. Course, I'll watch anything, including would-be crappy romantic comedies. I'll watch anything. Seriously. Except porn. No, even porn. For educational purposes.. yes...

Most importantly, I also watch a ton of small, low-budget flicks that most people probably haven't heard of (Such as Brick, Cube Zero, etc).

I haven't decided how I'll rant about these movies yet, although I'm sure anger will come into play a lot. And rest assured, the bigger the budget, the bigger my expectations will be.

You're in good hands now, people.

Now do my a favour and forget everything I've ever posted before this.

-Mark

Oh, before I forget: Yes, I'll probably have spoilers. But you'll be well informed.

Invasion of the body-slashers

2006-07-10T17:46:00.000-04:00

So I haven't blogged in a bit.. y'know, it's just been off the hook with the booze, sex, and lying about booze and sex that I've been doing. No really, I haven't done shit.

Except observe and judge people.

And I saw a few days ago, a triumph of a trainwreck. Riding the bus home from work, some too-fat-to-fuck chick gets on - the bus is naturally too crowded for her to sit her fatass down, but what do I see on her forearms? If you guessed a tattoo, you're an idiot.

Friggin razor cuts. The bitch was a cutter.

It's obviously not one of those "I'm going to commit suicide things", cause even if you suck at slitting your wrists, slitting your wrists is a pretty foolproof way to end it all... course, she had them on her forearms.

This bullshit was for attention. I recall not too long ago, finding all about this fucking cliche of douchebaggery on the internet of people cutting themselves and showing it to other douches on myspace, LJ, etc (any kind of retarded "look at how pointless my life is!" site) and wearing this declaration of low IQ as some kind of badge of honour. What the fuck? What the fuck is up with stupid, stupid people thinking that the only way they'll be accepted is to maim themselves? If you want attention, rob a variety store and get arrested - don't fucking cut yourself, you morons. It's not cool to show other idiots that you like suicide, especially since you're too much of a bitch to actually go through with it.

Honestly... how did slitting your forearms EVER become popular?

Fucking people.

-Mark

It's the most student-exploitativetime of the year

2006-07-04T19:55:00.000-04:00

I'm registering for my courses. Nothing fits, not even the ones I HAVE to take to graduate my ass out of this shit-hole.

Fuck Education.

-Mark

Politics 101: treat the audience as a bigger douche than you

2006-06-25T16:31:00.000-04:00

I'll get back to the End of My Generation soon, just lacking the creative hojules to get a complicated blend of hate and psychic powers to write about it right nows.

But what I have noticed is, along with probably anyone with a quarter of a brain, is how Politicans talk down about their own people they represent. Bush is a prime (and far too easy) example of this, as he wrongly defines words he uses in the speeches he didn't write. For anyone that can cut through the bullshit of politics, which frankly is difficult even for a skeptic as strong as myself, to get to the actual point, I tip my hat to you.

But when campaigning (which is always, apparently), it's easy for a major party member (example: Layton in Canada) to round up a bunch of idiot supporters and tell them everything they already know. If you're running for a socialist party, it's not like you're going to go in front of a mass of supporters and say they're going to give corporate tax-cuts. And yet, they seem to underline the point that they won't, which creates a big-ass "he's perfect, looking out for us!" bullshit mentality. Harper did it in Canada, basically saying that "vote for us cause we're not fuckups like the Liberals", and it worked. Nobody seemed to notice that since being in office, Harper's increased the military combatants heading to Afghanistan, to actually REPLACE the troops Bush threw in there.

Is it just me, or are Canadians becoming just as retarded as the average "Bush is the best president evar" American voter? I mean, it's pretty clear most of Canada/the world not including the UK do NOT support the war in Iraq, or how the administration handled Afghanistan - and the approval ratings reflect this in the states as well - but yet, here's the Canadian government, taking a page out of "my god, I think he's onto something, with all that disapproval!" and fucking up our country just as much (or at least heading us that way).

There's so much American politics seeping into Canadian politics. Attack ads are a given; although they all lack creativity and offhand I just remember how shameful they were rather than effective. Then there's the closed-door mentality, where everything big happens quickly and without people catching wind... but when they do, well it's already too late.

I'm a firm believer in open government - these people were elected by us, so why the fuck should they keep anything secret from us? They don't even have a right to do it, in my opinion. Sure, there's a shit-ton that most Canadians and Americans wouldn't give two shits about reading - but there's a minority, like myself and a few others, that would actually care about the little shit that goes on.

The open government creates more pressure for the government to do what's best for the country, not just their party or personal interests. And the fear of having rising tension between different groups would make sure that everyone is included, not just from your country, but to the world (example: If you're gonna bomb the shit out of a country, then one would have to declare so to your people - thus making wars only out of absolute necessary, not pointless escapades.

But in an age where Politicans advertise that "I'm just like you!", they're treating you as though you're a bigger douche than they are. Think about Bush - his whole campaign was "I'm just like you" and it worked. Do you think you could run a country, you asshat? Do you really give a flying fuck about balancing a budget, improving the state of the country, solving poverty and diseases, keeping the infasctructure strong, and most importantly, looking out for the population of an entire country? Of course not, your major dilemma is what the fuck you're going to eat tonight - home cooked or take out, or if you're younger, why that bitch of an ex-girlfriend slept with your friend while you were still together. But you voted for Bush cause he's just like you. And you're getting what you voted for - a trainwreck of a leader.

Canada's not innocent of this either - the only advantage we have is that it's a minority government and a different electorial process (vote in ridings for a specific person, not vote for one person in all the country). Harper can't just fuck off and do whatever he wants cause his opposition can shut him down.

But the states? Yeah, you're fucked.

-Mark

The end of my generation, part 3: Religious Nutbag

2006-06-15T19:04:00.000-04:00

Introduction + Part 1: Wannabe Rapper
Part 2: Emo

Religious Nutbag: You've grown up getting up early on Sunday mornings and listening to some old dude ramble about how Jesus was holy and why God would kick the fuck out of you if you didn't believe in him. You once questioned the point, but after your parents threatened you with eternal damnation, you decided everything the Bible says must be right.

You always wear a collared shirt and tuck in your pants - God demands it. The more you learn about Jesus and co, the more you realize how much better you are than everyone - but instead of just leaving it at that, you dig deeper into the Bible, ignoring reality and the changes in society. You briefly become a recluse. That fades away because you still go to Church on Sunday, which is also the only time you go outside during this part of your life.

Through your blind acceptance of customs from 2000 years ago, you realize how screwed the world is without your constant harping on the heathens. You first go out to street corners to read scripture that you wonder why it's written like a retarded kid's attempt at a poem, but regardless you read it and make many people uncomfortable. When confronted, you quote the Bible endlessly. People get into arguments that you never could have started even though you approached and criticized them first, but even though you want to throw the Bible through their head, you maintain your stature and tell them they're going to hell. They leave before you do, so you figure you've won.

Your idiotic beliefs go deeper to the point that you reject common sense and facts. The world was obviously created in 10,000 years, despite the... trillions of evidence that say otherwise. The Big Bang is a fictional tale told to people to counter your obviously and unquestionably true Bible. Because you have a hard time accepting life is pointless, God must have created you. To further close any other gaps from people with brains, God created you in his image, cause he's a self-richeous prick that wants constant thanks, despite him being all good.

Of course, as time goes on, you get out of the ses-pool of high school heathenry and get paid into University by your parents. You naturally go into theology cause studying anything else with the word science is the study of lies, and arts students are just homosexuals under a guise.

Your eyes open how tame highschool was in sin compared to reality. The TV sells sex, which appalls you - girls sleep with men.. multiple men.. without even thinking about getting married... and although you've never seen it, Brokeback Mountain is obviously directed, written, and starring the devil. Anyone that watches it is going to hell - in fact, you think that it's the first sign of the apocalypse.

You're still in your early-twenties, and you decide to launch a crusade against the evil - you use the media to sound even more insane than you already are, you stage dumbassed protests, and you beat up a hooker.. er, a girl supporting abortion. You're doing well. You graduate from theology top in your class, and hated by everyone, you stay at the church and start studying to become a priest.

This takes some time, especially with your frequent protests about why women shouldn't have rights, why gays are destroying everything including your dinner, and how pre-martial sex is the most evil thing in the world.

But something hits you that you didn't expect - there's a bunch of crazy fucks in the middle east that are just as pushy as you. You don't believe in war when it's you getting hurt, but you support bombing the shit out of them in an effort to control them. Luckily for you, God has told you he wants you to send non-believers instead of you - but he's also given you the opportunity to take away everything they need to be safe, but they didn't deserve it anyway, the heathens.

You receive strong criticism of both your war, Bible, faith, leadership, and your unwaivering ability to contradict yourself every two days. This is only a minor problem, however, cause you assume they're going to hell and go on a rampage, spreading your heavenly terror out across as much of the world as you can.

You're in your mid-30s now, and hated by everyone in the planet. Except Jesus, who's already dead. You've become a full-out Priest, and are harping your message out across the church, and the community. You've got a set of followers, who you'd gladly throw in front of a bullet to save yourself cause you're more holy, and an angry mob of devil incarnates at your door protesting all your human rights violations.

At this point, one of three things happens.

One: You confront the mob, trying to calm them down by telling them they're going to hell and you're going to heaven, but it seems to unexplainedly make them more angry. You're carried off and forced to watch your Bible dissected by facts, which you still refute. At this point, you're beaten to death. Nothing happens to your soul.

Two: You take refuge in the church for years, emerging only after people have forgotten about your stupidity. You start right up again, and are building up a following again. You hate homosexuality, but one day a class of 7-year-olds looks hot for some reason, and you convince yourself God wouldn't give you these urges if he didn't want you to do them in his name. Years pass from that exhilarating experience, but a court case is brought up, that you lose miserably cause the courts hate God. You are thrown in jail, where you're routinely forced into homosexual acts. You wonder why God has forsaken you, but still have faith this all has a meaning. A huge guy named Bubba rapes you so hard it wrecks your internal organs and you bleed internally to death, where unfortunately your cellmate is a necropheliac... things get messy, there's a riot, but you're dead already... and again, nothing happens to your soul.

Three: You go to your bishop for guidance. He rapes you.

Up next: part 4, Goth

-Mark

Half-assed explanation

2006-06-13T22:50:00.000-04:00

I'm not dead, just been out of town for the last week (thank god/evolution.. I was ready to fuckin' kill everyone that lives here, too). I'll blog my Religious Nutbag part 3 soon.

Corpse.

-Mark

The end of my generation, part 2: Emo

2006-06-01T21:34:00.000-04:00

So I'm back again, this time with part two (of this ever growing series.. I've got at least two more good ones, and ideas swelling) of The end of my generation. If you wonder what the hell I'm talking about, the introduction and part one is right here. Read that first if you haven't yet.

Moving on. . . part two.

Emo: Your life has been an absolute hell, even though it's been exactly the same as everyone elses - the only difference is that you cracked under the minimal pressure. Apparently you thought High School would be sunshine and rainbows and everyone would be hugging, and when someone made fun of you, you cried for hours.

You believe you're a loner, and you are, but only because you've made yourself one. The cuccoon of your own stupidity has blocked oxygen from your brain, keeping you from making rational decisions, specifically with the clothing selection. In order to be different from everyone else, you dress like you showered in your jeans and then rode them in the dryer, because they're now so tight any kind of movement rips them - which would usually be bad, but apparently in your "unique" style, you thought it would be cool. You wear a tie with a t-shirt or a really shitty button-up shirt - you claim it's a statement about the 9-5 workingman, but the truth is you just think people will talk to you if you wear it.

A tragic hair searing accident made your hair ridiculously uneven, some of it covering your eyes - but again, it's different and totally not retarded, so you leave it. You manage to bruise your face by walking into things because your depth perception is off, but you make up another lie that supports your made-up "my life is hell" story.

You claim to be your own person, but deep down you know damn well that you look like a dumbass, and that the attention you get is why you do it. If nobody noticed you dressing like such, you'd change. But you're unique, cause you dress just as stupidly as everyone else around you.

With the public eye spurning you, you turn to the only other viable place to get attention - the internet. You take your made-up life online, and are pleased to find other idiots giving you sympathy and encouraging you. You call them "friends", but there's no fucking way you'd ever meet them. You're now popular in your cyber-world, but it's not enough for you.

So you start posting shitty poems to get more attention when your readership starts to dip - poems you claimed were "just for you". Whenever you receive ANY criticism whatsoever, you launch of barrage of self-defence tactics, which range from calling them 'mean' to telling them 'they don't understand me'.

You pretend you're educated on actual issues, like politics or environmentalism, but you know jackshit. Whenever you get into an argument over it, you get caught in your traps and resort to your usual fallback - they're mean or just don't get you.

Time goes on, and you continue to have hairstyle and warddrobe malfunctions, while desparately trying to stay in the attention circle. You'll take anything to try and tell people smarter than you your opinion, but when it's to no avail, you start dabbling in lighter drugs for artistic inspiration, which you believe you have talent in. You don't.

Your emotional front starts to crumble when people stop giving a shit about anything you say or do. You begin to cave to the "popular" things, like smoking and drinking and drugs, all the while criticizing the people that do it, making you a delicious hypocrite, although you'd claim otherwise.

You end up in college or University for something in the arts, as you continue to chase the dream that someone will notice your black-hole of talent. You tell yourself and anyone that'll listen that you're a shy person that loves humanity and you don't like corporations, but you'd sell out instantly if anyone ever offered you something.... anything, really.

You stumble through college acting the same way you did in high school, proving to the world that you've maxed out intellectually when you were about 17. Now in your early 20s, you find out that your art that nobody gets isn't marketable, nor is your shitty poems. You work in some retail job for years, during this time you manage to meet a girl that's so pale your surprised she doesn't vaporize when the sun hits her skin. She's just as fucked up in the head as you are, and she likes it that you're a tool/emotional.

You fall head over heels for her, only because she's the only one that'll listen to your unending complaining. This is the happiest you'll ever be, and after copulating and a near-pregnancy, she realizes what a deadbeat you are and leaves you for someone with a real future.

You wonder why your BA in Art History can't land you a job - but to counter the depression of being in a dead-end job and now without a girlfriend, you listen to bad music from angry middle class teens that you totally get. However, you listen to it way too much and it starts to melt your brain, making you more depressed.

The internet once again becomes your haven, where you even more desparately try to get attention, this time by taking a razorblade to your forearms and then posting pictures of it. People ask you 'what's wrong?' and you make an even more elaborate lie about how you were beaten as a child and that nobody understood you and you were made fun of etc etc etc, and how you'd tried to commit suicide once but couldn't do it. The people listening act like they're concerned, but they wouldn't even remember your name if you died. You know this, but pretend they care.

You spend years in your parent's basement on the computer talking to your 65,000 myspace friends, while your few real friends have realized how much of an idiot they were to dress like a 1980's backup dancer for Pat Benetar. After your internet-friends refuse to meet you, you spiral down into an emo chatroom, where people are talking about suicide. After a brief conversation with a few, your last-ditch for attention reaches the extreme.

Trying to make friends, you slit your wrists. You didn't expect it'd hurt as much, and the blood spray scares you. You realize immediately what a bad idea this was and how you don't actually want to die, but apparently a band-aid won't stop the bleeding. You run around the basement trying to wrap the wrist in something, the blood spraying all over the walls.

You get light-headed, which only makes you more desparate. You call for help upstairs, but remember your parents are out for the weekend. You try and call the police, but with minimal bloodflow to your hands, you can't pick up the phone and dial.

You manage after a few minutes to dial 9-1. Alas though, you've lost too much blood, and before you can hit the last button you slip into a coma.

Your last thoughts are "maybe someone will give me a big funeral". You bleed to death days before anyone finds your badly-dressed corpse, and instead of a big funeral, they sell your body to pig farmers, making that the most useful you've ever been to society.

Or: Moments before slitting your wrist, you realize that how pathetic you are if this is what you're going to do for attention. You back away from the computer, look at your life, and vow to do something with it - you cut your hair in the bathroom, change into actual clothes, and hurry to the front door - you've got a new lease on life, and you scream happily as you burst outside.

In your glee, you skip out into the street without looking first. A city bus plows into you, killing you not even 20 feet from your front door, which you left unlocked. People loot your home as you lie in the middle of the road.

Your last thoughts are of that girl who's name you forget when you were 14, the one that made you go Emo in the first place. With only yourself to blame for what's happened in your life, you bitch up again and blame her.

Up Next: Part 3, Religious Nutbag

-Mark

The end of my generation, part 1: Wannabe Rappers

2006-05-29T22:37:00.000-04:00

In my neverending pursuit to understand my idiotic generation, I came to a realization. Luckily for myself, I chose to shun society until I turned about 19, and now, two years later, I wish I had continued to listen to my first instinct. In the pointless time I've spent in University, I've done far more to notice styles and catch up on my generation's lack of it.

Now, most decades, or generations of people in Western society are categorized by some term, which follows a close relationship with their clothes. From the free-love anti-bomb of the 60's, the Disco "tightpants" of the 70s, to Yuppies and Generation X, and the brief flirtation in the mid-late 90's with "Generation Y", to yes, even the wife-beating "let's pretend we're a family with values" of the 50s overshadowed by the Cold War, each have distinctive qualities that define them and make them easily recognizable.

This got me thinking: What will my generation's youth be defined as? Using the power of the internet and my bus rides throughout the city every day, I managed to narrow it down to the dominant styles - each are distinct enough from the common flow of jeans-and-tshirt people, and both are frequent subjects of ridicule from anyone with any kind of common sense. These people are the lowest common denominator of my generation, and thus are how older generations assume we all are.

But like our burned-out hippy parents that gave into the man after realizing that they were suddenly the ones with power and money, I forsee that these styles have dismal ends. So I have handily outlined what these are for future reference and "I told you so" creditials. Today: Part 1 of this (at least two-part) series, The Wannabe Rap style.

The wannabe Rap style: You're white but you wish you were black, or failing that, a hip hop star. Eminem has given you all the inspiration you need to prove that growing up in Suburbia is just the same as growing up sleeping on the streets, and even though you've never touched a gun before and you don't know where the safety is on it, you'd definitely be able to bust a cap in anyone over even the smallest of arguments. You spend all your money on bling and designer clothes, wear basketball jerseys of players you've never heard of but their name sounds black, and of course you're nothing without your pin-striped cap put on to cover your right ear - but failing a cap, you've got some sweatbands. Accessorizing is a must here; you're not the baddest motherfucker in your middle-class hood unless you've got at least $250 of jewelery. If any single piece of clothing is less than 100 dollars, you're worse than ghetto, which you don't know what that word means but it's gotta be good cause everyone says it.

You have a slavic devotion to hip hop and rap. 50 cent is your god. You totally understand what it's like to be him, growing up on the streets, dealing rock, which you assume is coke but aren't sure, and getting in drivebys. That is simply your entire life to this point.

Your dream is to sleep with as many girls as possible, and with your 'hood, you frequently refer to how they are 'bitches' and that you're gonna get some play any day. She'll go down on you unquestionably, with her DD breasts and 100-pound body. After you've slept with her, or got a blowjob (which you'll later tell your friends was sex), you brush her off to venture to the next girl, but of course, if she dares to move on, she's a slut. You are incapable of loving a girl - although you have no problem with lying to their face about it to get action. You call the shots in a relationship, or at least think you do, and don't understand when she's mad. You assume it's because she's a bitch.

You dabble with weed to start, which quickly becomes your favourite (and only) pasttime with your friends. After getting high a bunch of times off other people's weed, you realize you need money to support this habit. Getting a job is out of the question, cause you're a gangsta and working is for losers and bitches, so a small Break and Enter is in order. You're successful at first, but each attempt gets you closer and closer to getting caught, and you get cocky. You finally get caught, and your friends have hung you out to dry, fleeing the scene before you could. You try to escape but trip over your baggy clothing - but you're lucky, and get a slap on the wrist punishment, which you assume is you "putting the man in place". You're now terrified of getting sent to prison, but that's not enough to deter you from petty theft.

You venture into more hard drugs, enjoying the high more and more - but it's more and more expensive, too, so you start selling whatever you can - except what you wear. That's part of your skin now. You've become a junkie, but you luck out while baked and find a girl. She's willing to put up with your bullshit cause she's partially retarded, but you don't care cause you can't stop staring at her chest. She has the potential to pull you out of your spiral, but you ignore that... after all, you're a gangsta.

Years have passed by now - you've got no job still, no prospects, no education, but you sure look pimp to 15 people, and everyone else is a hater. You need money, so you get a temp job while learning how to deal drugs. Your addiction to drugs eventually gets you fired, but it doesn't matter anymore cause you've become adept at selling drugs.

You have squabbles with other hoods over something retarded like land neither of you own or something either of you said. If it's not directly related to you, you get pulled into the fray 'backing up' your hood. It's a success! You get revenge by stabbing or beating someone from their hood - if you're lucky, they die. Otherwise, they get back to their base. Things are great for you and your crib - and there couldn't possibly be any reprecussions for this.

Of course there is, and a overblown gang war is started. You get your hands on a gun, and although you're clueless to how to properly use it, you've watched enough movies and music videos to assume you do.

From here, one of two things happen.

1: You get into a firefight with the other gang, and are successful. You held the gun sideways and didn't get shot, and got away with minimal collateral damage. One of your crew is hurt, but your personal "surgeons" get the bullet out and then start drinking away the night. You wake up in a puddle of your own vomit and with a killer headache, and after stumbling out into the day, life is great for a few weeks.

But then the cops catch up to you. You know they're close to catching you, and because you're on coke you're extremely paranoid about getting caught. Unfortunately for you, you have a mild OD and wake up in the hospital. There's a court case, which you lose horribly but end up in rehab first by a stroke of luck.

Six months later, you're declared healed, and head out into the world again, ready to instantly forget what you've just been court-ordered. But wow, you're getting older, now in your late 20s. You find out your crew is a shade of it's former self, some in jail, others rehab, and a retaliation took place while you were in rehab, so some are dead too. You get high and drunk to honour them, and are caught a few days later committing some random crime, but again, are let off with community service. You ignore it, break parole on something minor like getting drunk or breaking curfew. You end up in jail - your worst fear.

You're a pretty boy, and those few months are terrible. You've done things that have scarred you for life, and your asshole sure is sore, but now you've got ex-con streetcred. You've got no place to live, and your crew is strangely rejecting you, or at least, what's left of it. Your girl is long gone, moved on to someone you kind of know, but you pass it off as she's a bitch.

You've got nothing going for you, but you still think you're badass. You get way over your head trying to get back to the top, and you're gunned down by a rival, or arrested in a raid. If you're not dead, you're now in jail for the rest of your life.

2: You get in the firefight, and you suffer heavy losses - apparently they were expecting you, or they had better guns. You tried everything, even holding your gun sideways, but it didn't work. Half your crew is injured badly (including yourself), or dead, or the smart ones didn't go and left the crew (the bitches). You're in hospital for awhile, and the recovery is long, but you haven't forgotten what's happened. You're in your late 20's, but the ragged remains of your crew band together for the last stand. It's the night before your attack, and you're getting high/drunk to prepare. You've got a bigger gun from a guy that knew a guy, but the word spread too quickly - the rival knows you were coming, and they attack first. If you're not gunned down right there, you again suffer bad injuries and are back in the hospital. You've lost a lot of normal functions, and it hurts to move sometimes.

You're just short of 30 when are released a second time. You find a new girl, clueless to where the first went, and try and clean up - you get a temp job, which turns into your permanent job, you have a few kids (if you haven't had a few already that you dunno where they are but still have to pay child support). You wonder how your life could have ended up this way, so dead-end. At least you stayed out of jail - but just barely. You still get high from time to time, but nothing hard anymore - your girl has threatened you about that, and you listen because you're scared of living on the street like you claimed you were from back when you were 19. You're a burnout, but you sure looked badass in your early 20s. You regret everything but refuse to admit it to yourself.

Your girl leaves you before you turn 40. Dejected and useless to society, you turn to drugs again. You either get arrested or OD. If you're not dead, you're in jail, and just want to see your kids again. But their mother won't let them see you - and who could blame her? You'd cry, but you're too manly for that. You've wasted your life.

But you looked cool when you were 19.

Part 2 "Emo", next.

-Mark

Bigger Boys and Stolen Sweethearts

2006-05-20T18:55:00.000-04:00

It's been just under a week since my last ranting - truth be told, working full-time really has taken it out of me, and my beloved internet has found itself neglected of a would-be linkslutter. However, there's still been a few issues that have "arisen", so to speak.

I'll be the first to admit that a lot of people use XP illigitemately - but honestly, who gives a shit if we're screwing over a monopoly that's screwing over the consumer? Personally, I only use XP because it's the most popular platform that I know everything is made for. There's a Mac in my household, but yeah.. Mac.. no. I don't have the patience to learn all the intricases of Mac when Windows gladly fills my time with its endless problems.

But just the other day, I got a message, 6 months after I installed XP clean onto my system, that my copy of XP "may not be legitimate - you may be a victim of software fraud".

Gasp! You don't say, I'm a victim of getting something for free that I should be getting for free anyway? And what's that, you say? I'm inavertedly taking money away from Bill Gates, the richest man on the planet? I'm so ashamed of myself. Oh wait - I live below the poverty line (technically) - and I really don't feel like paying $150+ for a system with countless bugs.

However, this little notification stored itself in my taskbar and wouldn't go away. Like most unused icons in the taskbar, if you forget they exist for a few days, they'll be hidden. So I just figured that if I ignore it, it'll go away.

Not so. Apparently this little fucker stays there all the time until you buy a legal copy. Well I was having none of that BS cluttering up my neglected taskbar, so I partook in some investigation to get rid of it - but no matter what I searched, the only way to seemingly dispose of it (for now) is to actually spend money... so screw that. I tried living with it for a few days, but found that it was an aesthetic headache, and I went into my sluething.

But this brings me to my handy little solution. All I had to do was go into the taskbar options, select the icon, and put it to "hide always", and poof, it's gone, at least off my visibility.

Which leads me to my final point. It seems that Microsoft just assumes/relies on people's general computer illiteracy to get by. Most people wouldn't have a clue how to get rid of that, or make it "go away" by proxy. Microsoft tries to appear legitimate, but given their exploits of routinely screwing over both the competitor and the consumer and avoiding being broken down (except for that one case, but yeah, do you feel like there's competition in the market now) for the better half of two decades. . . it doesn't happen. I mean, how many of you actually READ what the security updates are doing, or do you just mindlessly click "yes" so the popup will go away? How many of you have EVER noticed a performance boost from any update, ever?

It's just a thought - when I disabled the updates to stop the notifier from pissing me off, it "warned" me that I'd stop receiving critical updates. . . critical what? What has Windows EVER done for ANYONE apart from suck but be lucky enough to be in the right place at the right time (ie: The 80's, when everyone was high on coke and buying shit).

In my ideal utopic world, companies wouldn't be huge dicks. Oh, how I dream sometimes.

-Mark

Knifes and Razorblades

2006-05-11T21:25:00.000-04:00

Okay fuck it. I'm now breaking into the world of larger text adventures, only because I'm too lazy to constantly change the options. So enjoy being able to actually read my blog now. Let's move on.

So I'm riding home from work today, when I see a sign on a church yard. Usually I just laugh or scoff at how retarded the sayings are - because some idiotic proverb is not going to get me to join their cult. But this one got me pretty pissed off, for a variety of reasons...

It said "If evolution is real, then why do mothers still have only two hands?"

OH. I just stared at it for a bit - I suppose I shouldn't be that surprised, considering most churches get extremely arrogant when they know they can get away with bullshit like that. But first things first...

Okay yeah, it's mother's day soon, so I can see why they'd play off that angle. I dunno how the hell that'd get anyone to go there, but whatever. But more importantly, they're trying to guilt me into Mother's Day BS. Consumerism is pretty intertwined with Religion, especially the mainstream Christian ones. Look, I care about my mom, blah blah blah, but I really don't give a shit about Mother's Day. I don't live with her, and I'm pretty much anti-buying anyone something cause a company tells me too.. so Mother's Day really doesn't mean much to me - and yeah, some people will call me cheap, others a jerk, but they can fuck themselves. Unlike most people, I have convictions that I stick to. I hate religious and forced holidays - I'm more of the spontaneous nice/gifts. Anyway, getting off topic. So the sign was odd in that it promoted mother's day.

Oh, and let's not forget that it's pushing back women's rights. "Only two hands"... which pretty much implies that they do everything around the house/work, and take care of the kids. Yes, let's just shove them in a traditional role and thank them once a year for it. They're important for once a year. They do so much, but let's forget about it the rest of the year until we're guilted into thanking them in the most insincere way - by trying to buy their affection!

But most importantly about this sign, was it's little backhanded nadslap to politics. Let's take a relatively pointless holiday and make some rip at Evolution! Well if God knows everything and is all powerful, why the FUCK didn't he CREATE mothers with more than two hands? At least according to evolution one day she may have more.. but if she does, then she's an unholy hellish freak that God would shun. Because she wouldn't be made in his image. What a retarded theory, by the way. But hey, I'm sure creationism explains everything perfectly - except, you know, everything. I mean, don't give me this bullshit about God giving man the power to do whatever he wants, because he's all knowing and he would know beforehand that it'd turn into a major disaster where we kill each other over retarded shit (by the way, we've been killing ourselves for about 10,000 years. We're sure learning from our past).

If God really did create man, he fucked it up and then gave up, or God is a sadistic son of a bitch (maybe he's a cutter?).

-Mark

(Guitar Solo)

2006-05-09T18:16:00.000-04:00

So I've been working full time like a chump now for a week and a half or whatever. The job isn't excessively terrible, although unbelieveably monotonous - but that's not what I'm bitching about today (I'll save that for later).

What I am bitching about is the simply awful names companies are coming up with for their products. I mean most computers are just a jumble of numbers and letters that nobody understands but assumes that higher numbers and more letters = better computer, but there's a lot of mindless shit names. I mean the "Happy Meal"? What the fuck. You won't be so happy after those burgers congeal and block your heart and you die...

Or how about cigarattes? "Lucky Strike"? The only luck you'll get from smoking that is getting cancer and living with cancer for years, watching your health deteroirate while your family gives up on the medicare cause you're "not worth it anymore". Lucky you.

But specifically, there are some AWFUL names for alcohol (I work at a liquor warehouse... go figure my rage would lead here). While piling booze on skids, My co-workers and I have found booze like "Fat Bastard", booze that requires a Mensa membership to spell, and my personal favourite: Golden Wedding.

Golden fucking Wedding? That sounds more like a porn movie, not a wine. Honestly, just think about that for a second. Go to your friends and say "Wanna have Golden Wedding tonight?"
Or what about an actual golden wedding? "You may now piss on the bride."

I can think of a billion better names for a wine. And another thing - if your wine is the colour of piss, that's not something I'd want to advertise.

-Mark

Good luck on guessing this post's song.

You only sleep with girls that say they like your music

2006-05-02T22:52:00.000-04:00

God my back kills.

If that grass looks fun to roll in, roll in that fuckin' grass!

2006-04-28T10:00:00.000-04:00

I spoke too soon (or they read my rant).

HIRED LIKE A CAPITALIST WHORE!

-Mark

(Last song was Okkervil River - Happy Hearts)

He held me down, and made me feel as bad as he

2006-04-27T21:34:00.000-04:00

So I've been looking for a job. I landed a few interviews, but typical of me, I usually have a moment in them where I choke on the bullshit I'm feeding the employers and spew some rabid truth, and that fucks the job over for me.

But if some douchebag can get a job, especially the shit I'm applying for (honestly, why even BOTHER interviewing people for warehouse jobs?), since when is it a negative to have solid work experience, but with no conflicts with a boss? I've got three references and apparently that means shit, cause let's hire some pot-smoking douchetard to steal half our shit and show up late all the time.

What.the.fuck. I mean a lot of the reason I don't have a fulltime job is cause there's simply an ass-ton of jobs I won't do (ie: anything that makes me deal with customers. Cause the general public are fucking morons.), but it's not like I'm looking for anything unbelievably difficult. Just shove me behind the scenes, doing manual labour type-shit, I don't give a fuck. It's not like there's only a select number of people that can stack skids for transport.

Fuckers! I WANT A JOB (another one).

-Mark

(Last song was Franz Ferdinand - Take Me Out, Scissor Sisters rendition)

So if you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for you

2006-04-23T20:38:00.001-04:00

My internets is all dusty and cold, due primarily to my lack of anger-fueled love towards it (I hit you because I love you!). Of course, I could just do a shitty clip show that TV programs do when the writers are too high to think of anything original; but I digress from the point I haven't made yet.

I've come to realize over the last few years of my schooling that I'm not really learning anything - and that I'm a high-70's student (or a B+, for those of you that are in the "No child left behind" program, and are thus illiterate and mathematically retarded). Whenever I need to really know something, I just go back to one class in highschool - Grade 12 Communications. I've apparently learned an entire University degree when I was 18, because apart from reading idiotic essays from illectuals that are in more poverty than I am, most of the "information" I've learned in my degree is essentially just extensions on things I already knew.

Of course, given my degree, lots of the content I learn is opinion-based via the prof. (Think National Cinemas). I've had to endure 4 months and about 500 bucks out of my pocket on courses I absolutely don't give a shit about (like Soviet and Polish cinema), which although some have fading moments of interest, it's mostly harping the same shit for the entire course. There's a few problems here;

1: There isn't enough content to justify a 13-week (or god forbid, a 25 week) course that'll eventually lead to my degree/40,000 dollar debt. I'd take another course not in my major, but fuck, half these courses are required for me to graduate. I don't give a shit about Eisenstein's theory of montage (if you know the definition of "montage", you've just equalled Soviet filmmaker Sergei Eisenstein's life work), and knowing it doesn't justify making me sit through Battleship Potemkin, Strike, or anything else he's done. And for fucks sake, his essay in the book I was forced to pay 100 bucks for had DRAWINGS all over it. DONE BY THE BASTARD HIMSELF!. Anyway, it doesn't end here. I've already told people in my faculity (and they agree) that I'm basically writing the same essay over and over using different movies. I have my strengths when it comes to analytical essays (which, by the way, is all I'm ever required to write), and it's always Film Aesthetics, and bullshit (not in that order). I've sat through.. hmm.. lemme see here... about 150 movies in the last 8 months, and I've totalled 606 hours of class. . . . 324 of which was watching movies (approximately). So yeah, I'm sitting in a dark room for over half my year watching movies - sounds like a sweet deal, right? Imagine watching your favourite movie 100 times in 8 months. Sure, the first few times you find out different things that you didn't notice before. But after about 25 watchings, you just don't wanna do it anymore - and you're only 1/4th of the way through. Now take those 75 other viewings and start analyizing EVERYTHING about your favourite movie - ranging from who the director is, to the political ideology, to gay undertones, to reinforcing traditional values, to the evil of the corporation funding it, to the actor/actress inside it, to the shot style, to the colour choices, to the meaning created by shots, and pretty much absolutely everything you can think of. The short: Your brian dies and you stop caring or liking your favourite movie. . . because school has destroyed your movie-watching soul. Now do it for FOUR years and 40 thousand dollars! AND EVEN THAT DOESN'T GUARANTEE YOU A JOB OR THAT YOU'LL EVEN PASS!.. cause after destroying your favourite movie, you have to write a 15 page essay about it - and you have to "research" your topic, because you're far too stupid to form opinions without some quoting some educated hack 800 times. . . and what makes his opinion more valued than yours? Well... he's done what you have, except he decided to do it for his entire live. Hell, YOU got off easy.

By no means am I saying my major is difficult - I don't have to do much of anything, and there are some good movies in the mix - and hell, some of the readings aren't soul-crushingly boring (although 90% are). And on occassion, an industry dude, filled with years of cynicism and bitterness towards his wasted talents because the studio hacks edited his film comes in and does a talk at the University - in the process shutting down the one prof you couldn't stand. (Yes, that was sweet). I mean, it's not like I have to learn chemistry or something I know absolutely nothing about. At least in my major, I can fall back on my foolproof, never-fail bullshitting.

2: It's not that the professors don't do a lot of work prepping the courses - and fuck, they get underpaid like nobody's business to do it - but having a prof come and teach a course that's opinion-based will ultimately lead to a clash of opinions. What one person's masterpiece is, is another persons sack of shit. You have to be able to look past the verbal shit these profs give, cutting the opinion out from the actual need-to-know/need-to-bullshit-to-pass.

3: Writing. Who the hell writes theories on this shit? And why do I have to know it? I'm well-aware I made a wrong decision to take this degree as opposed to a technical film one, or actually going to film school (which I'll have to do ANYWAY after I graduate), but seriously, some of the things I "learn" are absolutely pointless. In the entertainment industry, to create a film with a personal meaning is impossible unless you've acheived commercial success beforehand. If you build your "truth" films on lies, where you were a hard-luck nobody that overcame the odds to become something (see: 50 Cent's film Get Rich or Die Trying), you're bound to find some kind of success, cult or mass. If you rant about political issues, but make it seem like you're talking about something else (see: Capote, which was actually about gay issues, not the "In Cold Blood" book.. not saying it wasn't a good movie), you're in. Or my favourite - doing a movie you've done already, but nobody saw the first one because you weren't popular then. (see: Brokeback Mountain, which was done by Ang Lee after he became popular from Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, but if you watch his 1993 film The Wedding Banquet it's actually Brokeback's inspiration.. and pretty much the same topic in a different context. It's also better). What it all really comes down to is money, money, money, money, and more money. You could be the most talented person in the world with the most important movie idea ever, but if some douche in a suit thinks they can't make more money off it, you're fucked.) Anyway, these are the things I have to write about - over and over.

It's far easier to just be retarded and not be good enough to go to University. Consider it saving money, not "missing out on an education".

How coincidental this rant comes in the middle of my exams that I haven't studied for (and don't need to, for all the reasons above).

-Mark

(Last song was The Brunettes - Best Friend Envy)

She gets her art from all the boys in town

2006-04-18T13:41:00.000-04:00

Linkslutting myself, because I can.

Clicky clicky
One more time, do it for Jesus
I took these.

-Mark (is clearly not studying for exams)

(Last song was Eels - Old Shit/New Shit)

Everyone loves you, nobody cares

2006-04-17T21:45:00.000-04:00

Exam period. More to come.

-Mark (hates school)

(Last song was Bloc Party - All The Marshalls are Dead)

Attention: Unbelievers. Fashion Victims. Opportunists

2006-04-09T20:11:00.000-04:00

After the greatest concert EVER... I tore some ligaments in my foot. Or muscles, or whatever. WHAT A FUN NIGHT!

-Mark can't walk

(Last song: We Are Scientists - Worth the Wait)

If I had one drop of common sense, I'd have already left

2006-04-06T00:44:00.000-04:00

Happy 100th blogging, me. I swear to Jebus or whatever, I'm ready to snap... so this will be another one of my rants that make no sense.

My work fucked up the schedule again, so I worked a double shift (remember the last time I did that? Yeah, I crashed my Jeep.). I finally bitched enough so they fixed it, and I got back at them by stealing about four dinners worth of food. Fuck you guys, I'm taking everything I can get away with.. hell, the security guard even taped the damn plates together so the food wouldn't fall out! HA! Fuck you work. You pay me 10 bucks an hour and I stole about 100 bucks of food.

Seriously, have crack-addicts just given up on trying to be inconspicuous? When I got off the bus today there's just some guy in the corner of the bus stop snorting some coke off a five dollar bill. I mean I've seen a lot downtown, like the gay stakeboarders today (NO male skateboarder wears a girl's toque and looks like he's about to make out with his buddy on the bus.. I thought I was wrong but after some very awkward staring at him... do you stare 6 inches from your friend's face at his lips?) Oh yeah, and he was wearing tight bell bottom pants. That was just weird. MOVING ON!

I've seen a shit-ton of gay people around that stop, it's pretty normal now.. I've also seen some gender-inspecific people, and the classic homeless wanderers that I'm waiting for one of them to try and mug me.

A few days ago I saw a different drug deal go down.. actually I walked past it. There's something about this neighbourhood, potheads, and fences. It's not like they're hiding, they're just leaning against a fence in plain view making drug deals at 3PM by an elementary school. Classy gents. Too bad the 15 year old was dealing to a 35 year old. That was also weird.

AND SCHOOL.. I'm STILL not learning anything, just getting more pissed off. I'm about three days from snapping and I've got four to go. And a RESEARCH essay to finish off the term? WTF, I don't want to actually try anymore.. That's just cruel.

And no summer job, not that I'm looking very hard. Someone give me a third job! I knew I just should have ran off to BC this summer with no intention of ever returning...

Oh.. and I'm bored with everything. If only I wasn't so lazy.

-Mark

(Last song was The Dresden Dolls - Dirty Business)

She leaves condoms out on the dresser just to make you jealous of the men she fucked before you met her

2006-04-01T22:00:00.000-05:00

This is another one of my booze-enduced incoherent rambles...

Seriously, I'm fucking tired of school. It's probably got a lot to do with the fact I'm not even LEARNING anything anymore, and I'm basically showing up because I paid money (in the future) for this bullshit, so I'm saving face to myself, but seriously, every essay I'm writing is just me repeating the same shit over and over with a different movie.

I don't do my readings. I used to kid myself and buy the books so I at least felt like if I needed to do the readings or I had some kind of inspiration, I'd do them, but now I don't even bother. I don't buy books cause fuck, I learned it all in first year and then in the first semester binge-whoring classes. SERIOUSLY WHAT THE FUCK I PAID 35000 GRAND TO LEARN THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER.

Well jeebus University, how about teaching me some tangible skills for once? (My "c" button is fucking up now.. glory road!) I'm not in University to learn how to become a professor and teach the same mindless shits as myself for the rest of my life (although it'd be a conveinent in-person outlet for my rage) wow my typing while boozed is pretty decent. Anyway where was I? oh yeah, FUCK University.

Seriously, I should have gone to college but even that would just belittle me. After all I'm great so fuck college, it's not even an option. I just applied to make my mom happy but there was no fuckin' way I was going. I figured that I needed a real edumacation, so University was it.. then my parents seperated and I lost all my funding (thanks!) and now I'm stuck in a shithole where I'm learning dick all.

And I'll end up going to college ANYWAY when I'm done
Fuck why don't I just drop out right now and go, cause it's goddamn waste of my time to be here.Okay it's not like my degree isn't bullshit and that I didn't know that going in, but seriously, I'm not doing shit with my life except meeting people. And wowee, that's fun but I need more people to drink with dammit so I can forget about how depressing going to University here is.

EWHAT>THE>FUCK.

-Mark I think

(Last song was Youth Group - Rosie and The Sea.)

It's an awesome song, this one up for the title of this rant, too. YOU AIN'T THE Po_lICE!

I was thrust with glory, and everyone telling me to tell my story

2006-03-28T23:08:00.000-05:00

Okay, usually the dome is angry, but today is a time to rejoice, because I just had the BEST.BUSRIDE.EVER.

So I'm on the bus, sitting, and we come close to an intersection stoplight. There's a line of cars, so the bus stops - but opens the door in the left turn lane - some dude in a red Honda is calling him over. He says something about how the bus drove off when his daughter was there (so what?). The bus driver apologizes and tries to explain his thing, and then the guy yells to the driver "You're an asshole!"
Now it gets fun.

They crawl up a bit, and yell some more. The driver shouts something, the car shouts something.. it's loud, and everyone on the bus can hear (I'm trying not to laugh).

The red Honda then CUTS OFF THE BUS to get into the left turn lane, stops in the middle of the intersection (causing the bus to nearly crash into it), then out-crazies everyone by getting out of his car and running to the driver's window. I didn't catch it all, but this is the gist:

Honda: "What's your fucking problem you asshole!"
Bus: "It's not my fault if your daughter doesn't get on the bus!"
Honda: "Why don't we just step outside and settle this, you asshole?" (remember, we're in the middle of the intersection).
Bus: "I'm not getting out of the bus, you moron."
Honda: "We'll I'm not moving my car until you do!"
Bus: "Fuck you, I'm calling the cops!"
Honda: "Go right ahead, I'll be waiting!"

All this over a dumbass chick that doesn't know how to get on a bus... hehe.

So the Honda guy eventually panics, cuts off like 18 other cars trying to avoid getting his plate read (and he failed), and the bus got me to campus on time, and the cops were called. I burst out laughing during the middle of this argument, which was probably awkward, but it was hilarious...

So I dub that the best bus ride I've ever had.

And now you know how fucking crazy the place I live in is. People trying to pick fights over a missed bus ride.

Excuse me a moment...

..
..
..
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

-Mark

(Last song: Bloc Party - Helicopter)

Six out of ten, better luck next time

2006-03-27T23:20:00.000-05:00

So I'm still pissed about that crash, cause I'd JUST cleared my last debt (ironically, that day. Fuck off!) Anyway, so I only have to work 10X the hours I have so far to pay off a piece of plastic and a fingerful of paint, but this bring me to my next pile of ranting juice.. and I can't believe I didn't rant about this earlier.

But before I begin, I can say that you people have nothing to worry about - despite the happy-enducing powers of the current girlfriend, the Universe was righted again by the cement pillar that I've already kicked and swore at the day after (which I rode to work on my sister's bike, cause my bike got a flat in the GARAGE over the winter, somehow. So I threw it through the recycling bin, which broke it. Luckily, Duct tape solved that. Let's move on).

INSURANCE! You fuckers!

Okay, I hate hate hate hate insurance. I hate them so much I wouldn't even hate fuck them (if you don't know what hate fuck means, wikipedia it.). But it's so counter-intuitive (car insurance). I mean nobody ever wants to claim because they're afraid their rates will skyrocket (which they would). It's so bad that some people would rather just buy a new car then deal with those fucktards. And because it's illegal to drive without insurance, those fucktards can do whatever they want. I mean I pay 150 a month or whatever to do shit with my car (which is my dads, which is broken). I have to pay for something I can never forsee myself using, because I'd actually rather pay for any damage to any car I own then talk to those douches. Even if I can't afford the car repairs, it's better then paying out the ass in insurance.

Here's an idea for the government to win the next 800 elections: MAKE AUTO INSURANCE NOT MANDATORY - UNLESS YOU GET INTO A MAJOR ACCIDENT. What's a major accident? 10K+ of damage. If you've totalled your crate that much, you should have to pay insurance. But if you've just dinged a few times, fuck off! And speeding affecting your insurance? EVERYONE SPEEDS. EVERYWHERE. ALL THE TIME. If you DON'T other drivers get pissed. Anyway, if you don't need auto insurance, well fuck, insurance companies make actually make it WORTHWHILE to have insurance. Right now they've got you by the balls and there's nothing you can do so why SHOULD they help you unless they don't get 5X the benefit?

See, house insurance isn't mandatory but it makes sense. You don't want your shit to get stolen or anything, so you get it if you have something valuable. IF you drive a wreck, who cares if someone steals it? Oh no, my car that I need to service every week and that has a leaky gastank! I'll have to walk to the end of the street to get it back! Seriously. If you have a nice car, you'll probably insure it to make sure that you're covered. But if you drive a crate, you don't care that much. If anything, you're just happy to not have to deal with that. And since we live in the age of paranoia, it's more than likely you'd actually take better care of it if you could lose it and have no compensation.

Fuck you, insurance.

-Mark

(Last two songs: March 24: Okkervil River - The War Criminal Rises and Speaks)
(March 25: Okkervil River - The Velocity of Saul at the Time of His Conversion)

Your time has expired, the only word left is goodbye

2006-03-25T00:39:00.000-05:00

&*&*#&*&^*%*&#% 1171 bucks for that fucking piece of plastic? Fuck off!

-Mark

Rise up behind your eyes, and take wild control

2006-03-24T01:17:00.000-05:00

Glory days ahoy! Now for the most part I'm bitter towards society (no shit, eh?) and all the stupid shit I see happen. But whoa, here I go ranting into the present (or only slight-past) of personal experience! Let me tell you, after the day I had, it took everything in me to not to boil over (and I swear, it almost worked).

I tried, I swear. But Wednesday, March 22nd, was just a nonstop nadslapping. Apart from the usual beaucracy of my second job scheduling me on an unavailable day (for the 5 billionth time, after I've told them fourty times I'm NOT AVAILABLE ON THAT DAY), I ended up getting double shifted at my first job, and then at night, for my second. Whatever, I agreed because I'm broke.

My first job goes relatively smooth - as usual, I don't do much of anything for the four hours I'm here. I go home, to find out there's no sauce for my spaghetti. So I improvised and made spaghetti with medium salsa instead of sauce, which actually turned out to be quite delicious (try it sometime with sliced onions). I head off to work after - I borrow my dad's Jeep since I'll be working into the morning and the buses around here suck. I go to work - there's some massive pile 'o suits convention going on.. something like 1500 people. For the first bit I do nothing, my boss (one of them) steals the three of us 50 dollar dinners and we hide away and eat it. Sounds sweet, right? Yeah, it all goes horrifyingly downhill from there.

I'm asked to stay past my end time. I agree (money purposes, again), which results in me working twice as long as I was supposed to. But.. BUT.. I'm getting ahead of myself.

Around 10PM or so, the dinner is over but we have to wait for the suits to clear out. My other boss tells the three of us to just hang around and wait. So we go to the bar to make sure nobody's stealing booze and to wait for people to leave. We're there for about 15 minutes, tops. Eventually Boss #2 comes over and tells us to help out downstairs with Boss #1 and all the other staff until we're needed back up here.

We go down there, and in the back hallway, Boss #1 finds the three of us. He asks (loudly): "where the hell have you three been?"
Me: "We were up in the ballroom."
Boss #1: "What the hell were you doing there?"
Me: "Waiting for the guests to clear out."
Boss #1: You were gone for 30 fucking minutes!" (wrong assumption #1)
Me: "No we weren't."
Boss #1: "Yes you fucking were!!!"

At this point I just stop trying to tell him that he's wrong cause it's pointless (hooray for being on the bottom rung of a corporation and not having a voice!). I just sucked up all the yelling on behalf of the three of us, and was informed that we'd taken our lunch by doing what we were told by Boss #2.

Apparently. So okay whatever, I just start working (ironically, not even 5 minutes later we were in the ballroom again. Wow.) and get on with life, eventually getting the opportunity to explain to Boss #1 what really happened. That fire was put out, huzzah. I got my lunch back.

But then Boss #1 tells me and another of the workers to vaccuum - course, the previous shit is still in the way but I start vaccuuming.

Enter Boss #3. (Yeah that's right, 3 bosses on one night! woo.) I was on a break, and heading up to the break room. But in the hallway, they have all the uneaten (complete) deserts. I ask Boss #2 if I can grab one, he says that he didn't say yes but yes. I mean, I still don't get the big deal about eating food they're going to THROW OUT, but whatever. I grab a plate, and go towards the elevator. Boss #3 sees me with the plate.

Boss #3: "What are you doing with that?"
Me: "I'm on break."
Boss #3: "You can't take that and eat it!"
Me: "I can't eat food you're going to throw out?"
Boss #3: "No!"

I'll spare the rest of the details, but after a brief argument about why I don't like wasting food and how it's retarded to stop me from eating food that she's just going to THROW IN THE GARBAGE (have I made that point clear?), I get the plate. I go up and eat it (delicious! Free food always tastes better, despite my rising bitterness towards the situation). I go back downstairs and finish vaccuuming, but not before the other staff start setting up shit for the next dinner, convienently stopping me from vaccuuming certain floor.

Enter Boss #3.. again. "You missed a spot."
Me: "Where?"
Boss #3: "You didn't vaccuum here, here, here.."
Me: "They put the tables down before I could vaccuum there."
Boss #3: "Get the small vaccuum and fix your mistake!!!"

Now a table doesn't seem like a big deal, but these things are lined up specifically, and I'd actually get in bigger shit if I moved them. So now I've been yelled at three times, all for things I never did wrong.

I vaccuumed between the tables with the small vaccuum and got that done with.

2 hours passed... and enter Boss #3... one last time. "You missed a spot!"
Me: "Where?"
Boss #3: "In the corner!"
Me: "Okay, the cord doesn't reach that far and the extension cables are being used by other things."
Boss #3: "Don't give me excuses, just go do it!"

Joy. I got told off for not doing something I absolutely COULDN'T do anyway, and despite my explaining I still got yelled at.

So after vaccuuming the friggin football field sized carpet for a third time, my night ends... around 4:30AM.

I head down to the parking garage to my dad's Jeep. I'm pissed enough as it is, but I just think that at least I took home about 120 bucks today between my two jobs.

I get in my Jeep and get ready to reverse out - but another parked van is jutting out too far, so to not hit it, I turn to the left and back up... nicely into a pillar, breaking part of the bumper off, denting the frame over the back tire, and smashing the protective cover over the left taillight.... all in a 5MPH collision.

From money earned, to money in debt. I'm pretty much fuming by now, and luckily nobody else is around for my brigade of swearing that echoes. I clean up the pieces and throw them in the Jeep, test to see if the blinkers still work... which they don't. But the alignment is fine, so it's still driveable assuming I can get home without a cop seeing it and ticketing me. Oh, and did I mention that I had a class at 8:30 AM? Moving on..

I get back in the Jeep, and just flipped out, in a fury that only comes upon my life once every few years (mostly I just let it roll off my back, but come ON.. would you keep it together after all that?), punching the shit out of everything I could and swearing my face off.

Eventually I calm down (with help of some Bloc Party tunes, which pretty much kept me from driving myself into a ravine.

What a perfect end to a perfect day. I got home (after getting lucky with a cop.. he DEFINITELY saw me AND the broken taillight, but decided that it wasn't worth destroying whatever sanity was left in me - thank you, anonymous officer of the law) around 5AM, and went to bed, giving the world a gigantic fuck you. Oh, and I missed class after all that (like it matters).

So my dad's ready to murder me when he gets home and sees the damage (which he knows about, since I called him), so if this is my last post, at least know I died doing what I love best - getting murdered over an-under-10MPH-collison-with-an-immobile-object.

-Mark

(Last song was The Futureheads - Man Ray)

Where did your hands go, when you thought I was your life

2006-03-22T00:43:00.000-05:00

One thing that really bothers me is people that label their style as "unique" when it's really just the same as anyone elses. For example, dressing like a hipster isn't unique - that's a style. Just because your clothes are identical to the magazine cutout of what that style is DOES NOT mean you are unique. You're just the same as every other jerk that wears that shit. I can't stand having to listen to people ramble about how they choose their clothes to look different, and then fall back on some idiotic style that has been done thousands of times by other people that thought they were unique.

I really don't care how you dress. Just be honest about it. You're not a unique, beautiful flower. You're the same decaying matter as the rest of us.

-Mark

(Last song was Clap Your Hands Say Yeah - Upon This Tidal Wave of Young Blood)

They are going out to bars and they are getting into cars

2006-03-20T23:09:00.000-05:00

I've been brewing this baby up for awhile now.

One thing (amoung many) that really gets to me is when your parents or authority figure in your life (whomever it may be) continually calls you by some retarded pet name they gave you when you were young.

For example: When I was a wee lad, I used to get all excited about pumping gas for some reason (probably because I liked the smell of the fumes), which my mom donned the name of "Mr. Gas Boy." Okay yeah, that was fine to call me - when I was 12. I'm 21 now, it's time to stop that crap.

Seriously, the only people that can give you some ridiculous pet name is a significant other. Friends; no. Family; no. Random authority figures; no. It just pisses me off when the older generation does it because it's like they're trying to capture the "youth" lingo. And growing up in the 90s, trust me, that lingo is just as bullshit as all the other decade's lingo. But one thing 90% of these people don't get is that calling people by stupid pet names based on their childhood excitement or something they said frequently doesn't make them cool - it's just really annoying and it makes them look like they're out of touch.

What they don't realize, especially those trying to recapture their youth, is that by acting my generation's age (and let's face it: my generation was raised on internet porn and high school drama shows like "Dawson's Creek".. oi) they don't look cool or trendy or "in touch". They simply CAN NOT become their kids' ages again - it looks really awkward, and let's face it, our generation doesn't idolize you. We tolerate you when you're around, and then make fun of you when you're gone because you look like someone trying to recapture your youth.

I'm not saying you should just age and feel your excitement for life slip away (or whatever). Go and have fun, but don't try and look like you're 20 again. You're going to base your ideal look on what you looked like in the 70/80's, and then attempt some bastardized version of our slut-gangsta or indy rock, or (god forbid) emo. You can't pull it off. The most casual you can look is jeans.

And for the love of god, don't hang around young people that don't give a shit about their futures. You've had a future, you know there's stupid shit young people are going to do that you won't because you'll think of the consequences mentally, physically, or emotionally (unless you're stupid). Our generation still has that future ahead of us - so we don't care if we fuck it up now. It's not like we're going to enjoy it. And in 20 years, hopefully we won't go your route.

-Mark

(Last song was Panic! At the Disco - Nails for Breakfast, Tacks for Snacks)

Your speech is slurred and I bet you might just swallow your tongue

2006-03-16T22:07:00.002-05:00

So I downloaded the movie "Ultraviolet." I haven't watched it yet, but I heard it sucked. (And by downloaded, I mean, legally obtained a copy for awards purposes). However, it's done by the same director that made possibly the greatest movie ever, Equilibrium. Of course, the director of that masterpiece was Kurt Wimmer. He's made some pretty decent movies in the past, like The Wolves and The Thomas Crown Affair. I'm sure a few people have seen those. They're not instantly memorable - but nobody forgets Equilibrium after seeing it.

I mean, you could accidentally click this button and accidentally get the movie and watch it yourself. Honestly, given how awesome Equilbrium was, it's worth watching.

I'm sure this'll all bite me in the ass after I watch it. But every know and then, we need to turn our brains off and watch something mindless and fun, right? And being a university student, I get the priveledge of ALWAYS being able to turn my brain off.

-Mark, telling you to watch Equilibrium, and warning you about Ultraviolet.

(Last song was Editors - Bullets)

If something has to give, then it always will

2006-03-14T22:40:00.000-05:00

Seriously, where are the recent films? It's a quarter into 2006 and NO new films have been interesting whatsoever so far. And Hollywood wonders why it's dwindling audiences continue? Because your films suck. Seriously. 75 days before getting a decent film out?

Although V for Vendetta could spark the riot. And when the hell is A Scanner Darkly coming out??

-Mark

(Last song: The New Pornographers - Streets of Fire)

This whiskey priest, he burned his church to keep his girls alive

2006-03-12T00:01:00.000-05:00

SPOILERS AHOY!

So I watched Brokeback Mountain yesterday. I'd been wanting to see it for a little, just because nobody would shut up about it.

But then I realized something. I'd been duped. The only reason this film is so acclaimed is because it's an overtly homosexual film. So what? I remember my friend telling me the only reason that everyone is praising it is because they don't want to say it's bad for fear of being labelled as a homophobe.

Well here goes: It wasn't that good. In fact, if it wasn't a gay film, I probably wouldn't remember it. For such an important film, it just lacked so many things that would have made it so much more powerful.

First of all, I couldn't understand a damn word Heath Ledger said. I understand he's supposed to be a roughneck deadbeat, but jebus, not understanding half the dialogue really killed the drama. And because I could barely understand a word he said, I really didn't care that much about his fate. Yeah, okay, he's a deadbeat, he's got nothing, and he's doing nothing to better his life. I get it, but I don't care. What are his motivations? He loves Jack, I get it. He's in denial about his sexuality, I get it. So what?
A lot of the drama seemed forced, and as a result, I found myself laughing at a lot of the scenes instead of getting drawn into the movie. The entire premise was ridiculous - so these two guys that aren't sure about their sexuality fall in love, and then for the next 20 years, can't get over each other. 20 years is a long fucking time, man. And considering that they only spent a few months making hot man-love to each other, it just doesn't seem feasable that they wouldn't get over themselves. If Ennis was so conflicted about his man-loving-fetish that Jack gave him, why would he continue to do that? Ang Lee simply didn't do enough to convince me that they were truly incapable of moving on.

The editing also left a lot to be desired. The film seemed to skip over years, but more importantly, there was a cutting of scenes between Jake Gyllenhaal and Anne Hathaway that really just didn't make sense. He just met her and is plowing her in his truck, and then the next cut is of her having a baby. Apparently they're married, or maybe she just got knocked up? Explain the 9 months, explain how their relationship survived.. not just "hey, he banged some rodeo girl and now they're married." Say what?

And finally, what really took me out of the film was the whole awkwardness between Ledger and Gyllenhaal. During the first scene where they eventually get down to the Quest for the Cornhole, the kisses between them seem so forced and unrealistic, because it's so very obvious they're both heterosexual males - and suddenly, the scene isn't Ennis and Jack tongue loving, it's 'hey, Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal are sharing a kiss just as awkward as the one in American Pie 2 between Stiffler and Jim!'

All in all, there was some good parts, like the cinematography was really well done, but there was just too many offs about the film that I found, and in the end it just didn't give me enough of believeable drama to make it worth all the praise it got. So I tend to agree that everyone talks it up because it's a gay movie, but it's not like it's the first.

I mean, for the love of jebus, people said The Silence of the Lambs was a gay movie. If you want something to talk about, talk about that. Cause all those activists were wrong.

-Mark

(Note: I'm not squeamish about saying anal sex, I just find it more amusing personally to make up things.)
(The last song was The Decemberists - On The Bus Mall)

We reigned at the pool hall with one iron cue ball

2006-03-09T21:17:00.000-05:00

I'm obviously a movie enthusiast, what with the film major and all, and the future film career (hopefully; probably not.). And for the most part, I'll sit my ass down and watch almost ANY movie made, regardless of genre or how shitty people say it is. Unless, it's a musical. I can't stand those.

But even then, I'm tempted to see Rent.

Anyway, my point here is this. What I don't understand is the well established actors that, as they get older, start whoring comedies. To me, that means that an actor is dwindling in popularity, or skill. Let's face it, I'm not talking about actors/actresses that have been doing comedies their entire career, I'm talking about those who star in serious dramas or thrillers, etc etc, and then all of the sudden start pumping out comedies, Ie: Robert De Niro.

Look, I know this guy's a good actor - Raging Bull, Goodfellas (well, basically anything that Scorcese and him have done together), he wasn't that bad in The Fan either. There's other movies, of course, but all of the sudden, he's in Meet the Parents, Meet the Fockers (yes, I understand that's a sequel), Analyze This/That, Wag The Dog, etc. And frankly, those movies weren't that good. In fact, a few were downright terrible.

He's not the only one here: Think of Jack Nicholson (As Good As It Gets, Anger Management, About Schmidt, Man Trouble) too. This guy was a stud of the 70's, and The Shining, where he flourished.

But De Niro and Nicholson are on the short list of good actors that have slipped off the radar a bit - and it's happened with comedies. Some of the movies are okay, but I miss these guys in murderous rampages, delightful, biting violence - what they are really good at. I'm all for actors' range but when you're 60, it's not the time to start cutting into comedies. These guys have fallen off the radar, and I blame crappy comedies for it.

Now get back to beating the shit out of incest-lovers (Chinatown), and ruling the shit out of Chicago and Kevin Kostner (The Untouchables).

On the other hand, comedians tend to have an easier transition to dramas. Just look at Robin Williams, although that guy could act in anything. (One Hour Photo (a really underrated indy film), Insomnia, Final Cut)

I dunno what I'm getting at here, but I just miss the days when actors didn't play in total shit movies, playing off their star power.

-Mark

(Last week's song was Man Man - Spider Cider)

You should always run with a loaded gun in your mouth

2006-03-06T23:03:00.000-05:00

So I've decided to embark on a pointless project because I'm bored. All of the titles until I get bored will be from some song I'm listening to. Anyone that knows the song wins..... nothing. On the next post, I'll post which song it was from. Why? Because it'll seem less oppressive and give me a humanistic flare. Heh.. like I'm human.

Anyway, in my random scrounging recently, I happened upon a pre-internet rant. Apparently before I got the brainwave of blogging my rage, I wrote it down, old-pen style. Like the vikings would have done, had they the tools to do so.

But since this seems appropriate, and my rage is currently on the Oscars and intershnitzel piracy laws, I'll allow those to formulate and give you, my loyal reader, the first in my one-part series: Rage before the internet. Consume!

"What's the deal with the media and crappy commercials? For example, the subway commercial. Why is an entire family scream about one sub that they haven't even paid for yet? It's a 4-person family, so what are they going to do? Share it a eat three inches each? Also, what the deal with this 6-7 carbs crap? I haven't met anyone that goes to subway actively looking to lose weight. The bread alone kills any chance of you losing weight. And don't talk to me about Jared. Obviously he excercised and ate good food anyways. For him to lose over 100 pounds solely eating subway would take well over two years. That's 3 meals a day, 365 times X2. Or, 1035 X 2 = 2070. Each meal is around 10 dollars. . . totalling 20140 dollars on subs alone! Unless he's rich already, in which he wouldn't need to appear in their commercials, then he didn't just eat subway. What a scam."

Oh, how delightfully ignorant of me! Now obviously this is referring to some old-ass commercial subway put out, from I think around December 2004, but if I'm not mistaken, that commercial is gone. So I'm taking credit for that one. Anyway, I gave up on watching TV because commercials pissed me off too much, so I don't know if Jared's still being whored out from subway, but either way, that was REALLY fucking annoying.

This raises a bigger point about commercials, at least, to bring it back to the future. Like I said, I don't watch TV anymore, but jeebus, was it just me, or are commercials responsible for destroying a lot of people's "enjoyment" of wasting their day in front of the TV? I don't need to be bombarded by 8 million propaganda pieces telling me why some paid 'actor' is reading a script about why some household cleaning product rules, in a house that doesn't need cleaning, only caused by messes that children they don't know caused? Are these commercials supposed to make us feel like we want that product, or that everything the TV world makes is better than our crappy belongings? Bitter.

-Mark

Hmm

2006-03-02T23:23:00.000-05:00

I seem to remember posting something recently, but it's disappeared, or I'm an idiot.

Anyway, am I the only one that's really damn tired of shitty weather and learning? I'm not down or anything, but winter just pisses me off. And due to my stubbornness, it's not like I'm going to move to the states anytime soon, not until they clean up their fucking mess they made of themselves and stop bombing the shit out of other countries.

But I've just lost my will to give a shit about my schooling now. It usually happens that I get really lazy around Jan-April and coast my ass in the rest of the way, but this time there's work and I don't even KNOW when it's due cause I didn't bother writing it down. I'm on a downward spiral, but it's not like I had a bright future after I graduated.

Seriously, winter, fuck off. I hate you.

-Mark

Note: I am aware this was a pointless, unfocussed rant - I just need to vent cause I fucking hate Winter.

More proof the world is retarded

2006-02-26T10:52:00.000-05:00

Not like you needed more proof anyway, but http://www.occidentalism.org/?p=79

Well, that blogger (whoever he is) makes a good point, but let's be rational here (because I'm known for that...). Well no shit burger king is going to redesign the logo, we're talking about the people that firebombed Danish embassies because of a cartoon - so apparently coincidence = insulting them.

Disclaimer: Obviously, not all Muslims are extremists - in fact, probably very very few are. But hey, just like those people ruined it for the rest of them, I'm sure the Middle East considers all Westerners terrorists by the same right. Hooray miseducation and stereotypes!

Moving on. It's great to know that suddenly we have to be careful of doing absolutely anything because it might offend someone and that'll get us killed by a pile of batshit insane people so caught up in something that they have absolutely NO proof of being real or factual in any way.

I've said it once (ever), and I'll say it for the second time here: If God is so powerful, he certainly did a shit job making humans. Maybe he was drunk. I mean, the world in 6 days? All signs point to us being the "newest" creatures, so after all that other work, maybe he just got fucking wasted... or maybe he hated his job on the other parts of the "creation" and decided he'd rather laugh at us for the next couple hundred thousand years (not that we'll make it that far).

Good job, "God". Your creations suck.

-Mark

Trans-fat and you, the nice marketing scam

2006-02-15T18:28:00.000-05:00

Time for me to revert to my apparent commie-ways and yell at Capitalism and it's heartlessness... again. Man, pretty soon I'm going to need some uplifting material, cause I'm sure people want some joy out of this blog... no wait, fuck that.

Anyway, this has likely been mentioned before as I've known this for at least two years, but I'm sure not a lot of people get it. Have you ever seen those stupid little "messages" on food products that say "0 trans-fat!" like it's some kind of technical revolution in eating? You're likely going to see it on potato chips and snack food, although it's on rice and all those "regular" foods too. Here's a hint for all you slef-sustaining shoppers out there: It's a total sham. 100% of those little quirps are 0% trans-fat because the products they're being advertised on can't have it.

Tran-fat only occurs in natural, living things, and that doesn't include vegetables. A biological process, and anything that thinks and does things consciously is the ONLY place trans-fat comes from. That means meat, and anything meat is in.

0 trans-fat is just a sham to make you THINK you're not getting any fat, because the truth is the majority of people don't know what the hell trans-fat means, and they see "0" with "fat" and they think that = more healthy. If you've ever bought something cause it said "0 trans-fat", you've bought into that scam. You never see Beef with "low trans-fat!" cause low isn't 0, and people like thinking they're healthy as they actually kill themselves with retarded food.

I mean, I'm not much better, living off basically sidekicks, bread, and cheese, but I don't pay attention to that 0 trans-fat scam. It's just a way to make people feel better about themselves, and by extension, equating that feeling with the product their staring at. "I only eat 0% trans-fat chips." Well, so do the rest of us, douche.

There's a ton of other marketing scams out there, that prey on the rampant gullibility of stupid people. If we pretend we know stuff, it doesn't matter if we're wrong.. as long as it feels as if we're right, no?

No. You're stupid. Get edumacated before you go into society. Cause when you're 35 and your waist is twice the size it was five years ago, and you're wondering why, now you know.

Blame 0% trans-fat.

Learning is fun.

-Mark

Valentine's and Consumerism

2006-02-14T18:37:00.000-05:00

So here it is, another Valentine's Day. As my girlfriend pointed out, this is a Saint's holiday, turned "buy stuff or people will get mad" day. I'd be outraged, but this really isn't original - lots of people hate Valentine's Day, and not all girls are materialistic... so this doesn't apply to everyone. But don't kid yourself into THINKING you're one of those "I don't care about VD" people, cause if you don't get anything and you get mad in the slightest - you're one of those people.

People have ranted on other blogs and throughout history about why you don't need just one day to express your love/affection for a person, and they're right - but my real issue here is the complete and utter commercialism that not just this holiday gets, but ALL get. I absolutely despise commercialism - I understand it's point, but it's absolutely evil in every form. It's not about the person, it's about making money. VD is just an example of the spendology our people have got into - flowers and chocolate and jewlery are the classics, the mindless gifts people give when they don't really know anything about the person they're with (unless that person gave them specifics). But society has been bred into this stupid ideology that you deserve gifts just because you're in a relationship or you have friends. I sent out my typical mass Valentine's Day email, which is thoughtless and sadistic, but it's also funny. I'm not going to buy gifts just because some stupid day tells me too... I can care about people without whoring gifts at them.

But no! It's not about what you get, it's about how MUCH of it you get. The profit-hungry corporations would rather just get as much money off you as possible, they'd love to see this turn into another Christmas.. hell, do you really think they'd give a shit about religion if it meant they could make more money?

Holidays aren't supposed to be materialistic - I mean, if people fall in love and love doesn't cost a thing, then why the hell does Valentine's Day ruin so many relationships?

I'll tell you: Cause deep down, 90% of the population is consumer whores. It's not about love, it's about getting shit for doing something that's supposed to make you happy ANYWAY!!!

Gaahhh...

-Mark

Canada wins

2006-02-14T00:49:00.000-05:00

I'd explain the context of this argument and what drove me to say this, but it's just as explanatory by itself:

Me: wow, my puny Canadian mind didn't grasp that the first time
dontcareaboutmyid: yay
dontcareaboutmyid: I helped again
Me: I need to go to American schools
Me: and learn about Creationism more
Me: because unlike Evolution, facts, and being right, Creationism isn't a theory

I'm done.

-Mark

MTV Hackery

2006-02-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

Wow. Today on my break I had the unfortunate experience of having to watch about 10-15 minutes of MTV2's Teen Choice awards or some shit like that. And dear god, that's a bunch of minutes I'd like to spend killing myself. What the hell is wrong with that crap? Apparently we're saluting the shit-tastic bands of today's generation. . . during this brigade of eye disdainment, I had to watch the "MTV2 Teen Choice Music Video Award". . . JEEBUS, that was terrible. They showed six videos - three hip hop, which looked IDENTICAL (imagine your typical hip hop video formula - and bam.), and then three "rock" bands, only one of which can actually rock. The Bravery, My Chemical Romance, and Fall Out Boy. The music videos in general sucked, and out of the three, only the Bravery has any real talent, and they're nothing particularly special - but they're at least catchy. Anyway, moving on.

Fall Out Boy won, which was predictable as hell and also the worst possible choice, given the options. Apparently the young generation of mainstream music listeners vote for people based on how bad of a haircut they can get, and how "tortured" of a life they (never) had can be expressed through their bad makeup and hair dye jobs. And this is GUYS we're talking about.

But I can't believe how people are buying into this crap about wanting to have a shit-tastic life because that's "cool". Or the whole "I'm a pimp" mentality. Seriously, what REALLY pisses me off about this fad is that people are trying to act like they don't care if they're cool, because it makes their other little idiots think they are. "Ohh he dresses liek he doesn't care, that's cool!" No it's not, asshead! You're just the same as any other mindless hack out there that is obsessed with being cool. You know why I dress like I don't give a shit? Because I don't actually give a shit. I dress the way I do cause I like it, not because I think some other asshat will.

But back to music. It's time you people got schooled on real music bands, the kind of bands that don't just have their 5 year old brother take a pair of scissors to it. .. the kind that actually toil for a while before getting recognition, because they've proved they'll stick around for the haul.

The Decemberists
Okkervil River
Bloc Party (yeah they're new, but they're also not a bunch of hacks)
Elbow
Spoon
Editors
We Are Scientists (also new, but hilarious and not douches)
Arcade Fire
Akron Family (specifically, Raise the Sparks)
Youth Group

They're all indy rock, but fuck you if you like hip hop anyway - you have no musical tastes.

-Mark

Muslims need to read my blog

2006-02-09T17:55:00.000-05:00

I've talked to a few people about this whole "cartoon-turned-burning-down-Europe" debacle, and it seems appropriate to rant about how stupid it is to be angry over some humourous depiction about your ideology, but........ I already did.

If more people listened to me, this shit wouldn't happen, dammit!

As usual, I was right.

-Mark

Another week, another update

2006-02-07T14:11:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the disappearance - well, not really, but I've just been doin' stuff recently - like making videos, working, all the usual mundane crap people do to pass the time, etc etc etc. But luckily something happened recently that I can rant about!

What's the deal with people that just don't get humour? "Oh, I'm offended by everything, waah waah, I'm a big douche." We all know these people - the kinds that while everyone is laughing their asses off to something funny, they're sitting there, being pretentious. Look, I'm not saying everything is funny - some people can't tell jokes worth shit. But when something is genuinily funny, nobody gives a shit if you laugh at it. "Well it supports the negative stereotypes of race, gender, ideas, blah blah blah etc."
Funny thing is, that it's people that are too busy NOT laughing about things that are the ones nobody wants to hang around. When people become way too wrapped up in a certain idea, to the point that they can't handle criticism (humourous criticism, no less), then.. well no WONDER the world is so divided. I just can't stand people that can't laugh at themselves or their own beliefs. There's ALWAYS something funny in something. Hell, I'm of English descent, and I can't stop bashing the English. They're hilarious! And not in a "oh that was a good joke, Rupert" way either. They're hilarious because of the things they do that they're not trying to be funny about.

Seriously, everything's funny when it's taken seriously. Just look at someone so involved in what they're doing (as long as it's not mundane, like writing a test.. that's not funny... well it kind of is, watching people panic and seeing them flounder) but when someone's giving a speech or going on a rant about something they believe strongly in - like, for example, someone ranting about how Communism is 'evil'. It's hilarious to watch those people go, because it's apparent to anyone with a brain how idiot and misinformed these people are.

Go back in time and watch the whole Communist insanity scare of the 50's and 60's. Those people running around like idiots, witch hunting for communists, and hiding under desks (which supposedly plywood sustains a 6 megaton atomic explosion.. thank god the 50's schools had it right!)... hilarious.

But in general people, stop taking yourselves so damn seriously.

Now I'm off to listen to Bill O'Reily and agree with everything he says.

-Mark

Stab me

2006-01-31T00:38:00.000-05:00

I wish there was a way I could stab myself in the ears so I didn't have to overhear half the brainshit people's pointless dribble on this campus. What you wore or how cute some douchebag is or why he was hanging out with her, or why you don't like someone, is not worth broadcasting to the fucking campus. Shut up... I really wish I could just kick the asses of everyone on this campus that's got nothing to say.

-Mark

Big-ass argument

2006-01-25T23:39:00.000-05:00

So I just got into some massive argument with Peter over politics. Rather then describe it, I'll just post it (this is fucking long, warning).

Jesus Christ, this is long. Anyway, if you have an hour to kill and feel like reading about politics and coming to a vagrant understanding of where my rants seem to originate, go nuts.

----

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i certainly know why i voted, assfucker

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and what i voted for

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
and that would be?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
because i support a lot of the NDP policy

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
which is?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
outlaw private health care

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i dont think private health care should be legal

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
they weren't the only party that was for that

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
conservatives love it, liberals dont care enough to do shit about it

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
so you voted for them for one reason.

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
its a reason

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
and what are the others?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
their policy on education, which is reducing tuition and making it mroe affordable and accessible to the general population

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
again, not the only party to talk about that

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
theyve got the better plan

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
and that would be?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
conservatives: give money for books/tools for trades. liberals: free tuition/low tuition year first and last year but still fucked in the middle. ndp: just lower it in general across the board

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
at the expense of?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
remember, liberals do take a lot of ideas from the NDP

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i support their policy regarding cities and building their infrastructure, transit, etc

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i support the idea of a national daycare for thsoe who want to take advantage of it

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i support their stance on kyoto, keep it and meet its goals and not sit around and do bull on it

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
seriously man, are you just reading this off a website right now?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i support their policy on missile defence: a clear no

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
no im not reading this off a website

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
its not like im totally oblivious to the news

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
okay. Go on

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i honestly think the ndp has a clearer stance on stuff than the liberals do

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
honestly, you seem to think this is all easily accomplishable. There's no fucking way the money is around to acheive all these things

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
that depends if you're using it efficiently or not

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
gun registry is a good idea, just poorly done

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
That's a fucking joke. NDP talks a big game but seems to think there's some massive surplus to get this shit done

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
thats because there is a surplus, asshat

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I know that, fucktard. But that's cause we HAVEN'T spent shitloads of money on programs like this

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
outside policy, you know where i stand ideologically. are you surprised about what i voted?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
NDP seems to fit my ideological stance

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
first: there isn't the population in order to finance these things that NDP want; second, there isn't enough tax revenue. Half of
these "projects" are astronomically expensive to run, like anti-missile defence, national fucking daycare, tuition, and restructuring the infastructure

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
antimissle costs 0$ if we say no to it

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and NDP sAYs no to it

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
so in order for these to go down so perfectly, they would need to raise taxes, or it would be run poorly or incompletely.

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
No it fucking does not

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i will acknowledge you cant implement them all at once, the money isnt there, youd have ot phase them in

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
they don't get a goddamn volunteer to go against pro-missile defense.. they'd have to stage a campaign against it, which would also cost a shitload of money

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
itd be worth it

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
you dont create a happy world by putting weapons here there and everywhere

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
That much I agree with, but National daycare is a ridiculous idea that simply can NOT be done

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
first of all, that'd be a shitload of people out of a job

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
thats why you hire them

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
There's already people that run daycares

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
the current folks running daycares get employed

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
then why change the system?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
because the government can ensure that daycares exist so that those who want to run one but lack money can actually run one

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
if we're going to have a society with two parents working, somethign needs to be there, and if daycare spaces dont exist, i think the government needs to step in and do something

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
if it means subsidizing daycares, then so be it

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Or maybe parents should be more damn responsible about having children if they can't handle the task

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
And who would pay that?

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
OR would we take that from our "endless" surplus?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
dude, lots of people legitimately have kids bevcause they want them, not because a one night stand ended badly

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I know that, but if we can't sustainably take care of them, then why are we having them?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
because its human nature to reproduce to keep the species alive

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
It's not the middle-class people that are having troubles with taking care of kids. In fact, in those demographics child-birth is dropping

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
it's in low-income families and teen pregancies that are on the rise

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
so your stance is leave them on the street to die

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Trust me, we're not having problems reproducing. We're completely overproducing

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
My stance is stop the fuckers from spawning so much

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
so your government would spend money on contraception for these people

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
or surgery to tie tubes

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
obviously not tying tubes; that'd be a personal choice. But definitely handing out contraceptives

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
but that costs money

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and people would leech of the govt for pills, which you seem to not like leeching people

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
but really, are you surprised i voted why i voted?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
ratrher what i voted

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
No, I just think you've been whitewashed by propaganda

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Look, my beliefs are definitely not free, I obviously am aware of the cost of condoms and contraceptives. But that's a shitload cheaper then 18-22 years of child expenses

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
It's obvious the world is overpopulated, and despite the low-income benefits of the NDP's proposed platform, it'd be a shortlived "dream" because what they promise would never be sustainably possible

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i highly doubt youd complain about my vote if i voted green

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
im thinking it could be an anti-ndpness on your part

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I'm anti-NDP just as much as I am anti-Conservative

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
honestly, the best place to rest on the spectrum is Liberal

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
but the Liberal party obviously can't run their shit straight

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
the point remains, youd probably not complain about my vote if i voted green

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I wouldn't complain, but I'd maintain my stance that you didn't know what you voted for

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
In actuality, it does seem I was wrong, you at least are more knowledgeable about what you voted for; for that I apologize. But you honestly buy into a lot of the propaganda from the NDP platfrom

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
to say that is a bit arrogant on your part, its not like i didnt know what was going on going into the poll. and its not like i suddendly decided on NDP this year

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
whatever the NDP says they will do, feasible or not, i look at them as the concious of the nation, the party that keeps the government in check on the social side of things

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I know that, but you seemed to be conflicted about your vote between Green/NDP, and then literally overnight you turned into a NDP fanatic

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i decided on NDP about a week or two ago

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
that doesn't change the overnight factor

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
well before the rally, something just felt right about NDP

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
any confliction i got over green came when i was doing my doc when some of green policy was explained to me

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
but i ultimately decided that i couldnt support all of green's non-environmental policy

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
The crux of a fringe-party

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
theyre fiscally conservative

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
which equals cutting programs that are beneifical to the country

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Not particularly; they're actually all over the place fiscally

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
as explained to me by teh green candiate: fiscally conservative, socially progressive

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
That's just the bullshit they give reporters

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
LIterally, their platform changes from member to member... a serious holdback

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
dude, i thought that before interviewing her though

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
she pretty much confirmed it

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
except in London North the Green candidate when fiscally progressive, socially progressive

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
if there was such a riding as London North

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Which there is; Joe Fontana won it

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i do realize teh NDP probably won't form government (if they do, itll be a long time). but its the NDP that puts forward ideas and keeps the government's social concious in check

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and i can live with that

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
btw, its London North Centre

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
London North is non-existent

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and btw, the Liberals hold the balance of power, not the NDP

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
they are the official opposition

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Liberals don't hold the balance of power

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
they have 103 seats, do your math, 29 isnt much

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
The balance of power isn't the second strongest party. It's the party that can combine with another to defeat the government if they wanted to

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and the cons plus ndp cant pass a law anyways, they dont have 155 put together

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Liberals + Bloc = 154 seats. Liberals + Bloc + NDP = new vote

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
remember the cons will only have 123 votes because one will become speaker, who doesnt vote

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
except in ties

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Cons + NDP = 152

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
155 = majority

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
if bloc and lib vote no, law screwed

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I know. NDP holds the balance of power

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
152 vote doesnt pass a law unles sthe libs or bloc vote for it

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I know

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
the NDP and Cons would never form a coalition anyway

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
the cons only need bloc or lib, they can ignore ndp

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
They sure as shit aren't going to get Liberal

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
libs got con support last time around, its not like its next to impossible

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and they arent goign to vote down teh govt on a money matter unless harper fucks up royally as Canadians do not want an election for 2 years. they will bargain their stance to avoid the stance

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
rather election

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
You seem hellbent on this horseshit proposition of 2 years

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
they all know whoever pulls teh plug on the cons is fucked

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
dude, if you were aware of the news in this election, canadians didnt want this one

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I know

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
canadians want a minority

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
but that doesn't mean the one we have is any better

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and will be pissed if they dont work toegther

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
fucking Harper

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
id rather something positive come out of thi parliament instead of bickery

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
wishful thinking

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
of the leaders, its only layton who gets it

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
for the most part

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Oh now that's fucking horseshit

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
dude, the cons wanted it more than the ndp

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
to my knowledge, it was gomery that prompted them to go early

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Layton is not some goddamn saint you make him out to be

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
neither is the green party

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Hey, fuck you, I never ONCE said they were

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Don't put fucking words in my mouth I never said

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and i never said jack layton was a saint

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
same to you

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
You won't shut up about how "Layton's got the idea" and "Layton wants to work together" blah blah blah

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
but i never said he was saint. thats you putting words in my mouth

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
That's just goddamn horseshit, you and I both know that you'd be ecstatic if NDP took majority

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
id actually go into shock

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
regardless, even if it was one of those things that was a long-time coming obvious thing, you wouldn't complain

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
And I never said you said he was a saint, I said you make him out to be one

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Regardless, moot point. You talk up Layton like he's the shit all the time

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
and he's not

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i think hes one of the NDP's better leaders

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
he's more outspoken, granted, but that doesn't make him better

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
hes done better than Alexa McDonoguh

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
he's benefitted from the fact that the Liberals and Cons have fucked up repeatedly

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
well they do have momentum, and those aggravating polls (Whether theyre true or not) say Canadians do likethe party

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i think the coutnry is torn betweent he left and the right

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
and given the party's positioning and "strength", he can afford to go on prolific rants about progression and change because he's got that blanket

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Put him in Jim Harris' position, nobody would listen to him if he didn't have a seat but had noteable percentile of the vote

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
well the NDP did increase their count to 29

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i think that says something

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I call a lot of protest votes in their favour

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i dunno... most o ftheir seats were in urban canada

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
cons i think got the protest vote

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
No, if they did, they'd have a majority gov't

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
protest OUTSIDE urban canada

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
NDP more than doubled (I think.. did they have 18 or 12 seats last time) their seat total

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
they had 19 last time

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
40 would be double

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
okay so they got 40% more

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
either way, that's a fucking assload more in a seemingly equal footed election

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
a flaw of theirs is that they tend to be more urban oriented

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
which doesnt speak well to farmers

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
so why do you think the protest votes went outside urban Canada??

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
southern ontario used to be mostly liberal until 2004/2006

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
its all blue cept for one riding

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
and windsor/london

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
You mean, Hamilton, Toronto, both who went NDP?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
theya re urban canada

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
not rural

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
look at rural souther ontario, its mostly blude

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
exactly. What the fuck are you talking about??

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I'm talking about protest votes being urban

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
if it went red to blue, probably a protest vote

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
and those going NDP

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
the london NDP won on name recognition

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
Really, the conservative Libs went Consey, the progressive Libs went NDP

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
shes been running for 10 years

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
the fanshawe chick?

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
yeah

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
people like her

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
yeah... EOA though

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
like I was saying, low-income

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
then why that consey lib dude for 10ish years?

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
how the fuck should I know? I've lived here two years

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
lowincome maybe a fair argument, but its a generalization considering its history

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I'm just saying low income are more likely to go NDP cause of the low-income benefits NDP offer

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
which ultimately end up screwing them over

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
but whatever the outcome, you cant really hold it against me for supporting NDP ideas

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I don't hold it against you, just like you don't hold my Greenism against me

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I'm just saying I don't think you understood the issues. That I was wrong about

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
that ill accept

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
as far as that ndp fanatic comment, ive been leaning towards NDP fora few years now. teh greenism on my part was two things: a) findingout more about the party because of interviewing adn b) i know the candiate as she was my high school teacher and considered giving her the vote of support

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
if she wasnt running, green probably wouldnt have crossed my mind as a serious vote

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
I've never voted anything but Green

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
and it's highly likely that I'll spend my entire life voting Green, unless they fuck up their policies or gain immense power

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
but i am still a bit shocked that you thought i didnt know anything about what i was voting for... seeing as how its something i am interested in and the fact that i am doing journalism, which entails keeping up to date on the stuff

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
It was brought on by your apparent uncertainty in voting party, followed by an overnight fanaticism to the NDP

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
it does feel a bit insulting

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
meh, I'm not exactly a sugar-coating person

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
i dont expect you to be, but my point remains

Mark - Tired as fuck says:
dude, it's not like I never gave you a chance to defend yourself

Peter - way to go Canada... officially almost George Bush's whipping boy. says:
true...

----
Jebus. If only other people took this much interest in arguing politics, eh?

-Mark

Canada votes wrong twice in one election

2006-01-24T00:05:00.000-05:00

Congratulations Canada - for voting with your douchebaggery senses, instead of your brains. So now we have a Conservative minority government, which is one step better then a Conservative majority government, but in the process we also handed the balance of power to the NDP, which is a party on the other side of the spectrum to the Cons. So this government won't be able to put anything to vote without it getting shut down hardcore, and we'll be forced to see a right-leaning leadership in the next 6-12 months before the gov't dissolves.

So good job, Canada. You took one bad guy out of power, and put another idiot in power, then because you seem to like voting, you put the opposite leaning party against it.

And I'm glad that nobody cares about the environment, because I really want to die quickly so I don't have to live through watching people make dumbassed decisions and never see anything change.

It comes to a point when you get tired of ALWAYS being the person that says "I told you so." This blog is basically me being that person, albeit it angrily - but that's cause it's the only way people actually listen. Sure, a lot of people will write me off cause my language is bad (so what, they're words), and I have a fairly minority view (you know, I don't want to consume the shit out of things until we don't have any way out of it), but I know I'm not alone, and I know for sure that there's a few people out there that don't suck.

What REALLY pisses me off about this whole voting thing and voting in general in any country is that 80% of the people don't even know why they're voting for a certain party or person, and they don't bother to read the issues. And I'm calling someone out on this, and he knows who he is: Peter. Do you even know why you voted for who you did? Can you cite specific issues that were important to you that your party mentioned? Can you do anything but make broad generalizations about what you voted for?

Ugh. I'm depressed. For such a supposedly enlightened species, we sure do suck.

-Mark

Back with a raging

2006-01-18T23:26:00.000-05:00

So, I'm a loud person when I'm joking. Why? Because it's hilarious. But as far as society niceties go, I've given up on them. Not because I felt the need to have them before, but because honestly, if someone's listening in to my conversations (which are pretty much always outrageously offensive), there's no way it's my fault if you get offended.

I've had people tell me "you shouldn't say that" before, to which I've responded "shut your fucking face and stop listening then." Those were my prouder moments. Look, it's not like I don't know what I'm saying - fuck, I love offending people, because it throws them off their stupid little "I'm so great" platform. Why the HELL should we be so careful about what we say? What, cause some douche with a stick shoved so far up his ass he can't walk will be offended?

If we're always worried about speaking our mind, and saying whatever random shit we want to, then we'll never learn to accept each other. What, I have to change who I am so you like me? Fuck you, I'm not trying to make you like me - I'm doing what I feel like. If you don't like it, don't listen, or leave. Fuck, I constantly overhear people saying dumb shit, and I don't ever say anything, and I definitely don't get offended. But this whole concept of "don't hurt anyone's feelings" is fucking garbage. We should always hurt everyone's feelings from the beginning so we don't have a bunch of bitchy, whiny, "oh my god you shouldn't say that, it'll offend someone" douches.

God I hate society. Get a clue. We'll never get along if we don't get over our stupid self-complexes that we try to enforce on other people. IF you wanna tell me off for being obnoxious, go ahead - but just prepare for a mouthful in return.

-Mark

The amount you read does not make you more right then someone else

2006-01-11T22:02:00.000-05:00

I've been disappointed with myself in my lack of quality rants recently, but whatever. This one will again, not be very long, cause I'm kinda having those brief moments of anger. I blame my functional relationship for taking some of the steam out of me. I'm always more angry when I'm single - not because I'm single persay, but I have none of that inconvenient 'happiness' to bogg my otherwise hilarious and totally factual anger. But let's move on before I forget why I'm mad.

I can't stand when you're having a debate with people (an actual debate, not a yelling match or lecturing people because they're stupid, although when you win the debate you have the right.. nay, the duty to belittle them for having wrong thoughts) and instead of actually forming an oppositional opinion, all they do is list off a shitload of irrelevant texts and say that's why they're right. THAT'S NOT ARGUING, that's a fucking bookclub list. Example argument:

X: I think oil depletion is bad and the oil drilling technology is ultimately counter-productive to society.
Y: I disagree. As you can see with Roland Douchowitz's works and Garfunkle B. Fucktard's book I've Got Nothing To Say Because I'm an Idiot, as well as Cindy V. Disease's essay Still Not Forming My Own Opinion, it is clear that I can read but I'm inept in society.

Debates do not have required reading lists, especially when they're not live. This isn't a debate about who can read more and bring nothing to the table, because I can list off a shitload of who the fuck cares and claim that I'm right. NO. These douchebags clearly have no opinion and they're just self-richeous dumbasses that can say to themselves "I'm still smart and right, cause look at everything I've read! They haven't read that! So how could they be right? It doesn't matter that I just got debated into the ground by rational thought in the REAL WORLD... I've still got my mountains of everyone else's opinions to fortify my own ego."

Yeah, fuck you. And we all know at least one of these people. The guys that don't know how to do anything else but recite a list of fucking books. FORM YOUR OWN GODDAMN OPINION BASED ON RECENT FACTS, NOT WHAT SOME ASSBAG WROTE 70 YEARS AGO.

-Mark

Short, just like a nerd's sex life

2006-01-11T02:44:00.000-05:00

This one won't be long primarily because there isn't much to say. Usually I like to come back and look at the glory that is my own textual dump of random letters that create the anger that burns within me just from having to deal with asshats everyday, but this time, it's not a human I'm pissed at, although they're undoubtedly the reason for it.

Auto-answering shit on phones is annoying as fuck; we all know this much. But it's cheaper than paying for labour because companies don't want to actually have a workforce behind them, I suspect it's due to a fear of gaining a heart or maybe they're just allergic to skin flakes. Either way, I don't deal much with the auto-answering shit, so it really doesn't bother me that much.

HOWEVER, today as I was drifting throughout campus aimlessly and pointlessly, listening to some Arcade Fire and thinking about how hopeless my future is, and also about if I should buy lunch or just go home and eat, my cell phone rings. It's a blocked ID, but for some reason I needed human contact at that moment, so I answered it.

What do I get on the other end? "Please hold while we connect you to WHO THE FUCK CARES WHAT." YOU SON OF A BITCH! YOU MOTHERFUCKERS DO NOT CALL ME THEN PLACE ME ON HOLD ASSHAT FUCKTARD PIECE OF SHIT RELATED ANGRY WORDS!

.........okay. I'm calm again. But seriously, what the fuck? What dumbass thought calling people with telemarketing shit, but instead placing them on hold would EVER work? "Hey, I've got a great idea! Less piss off people that don't want to be bothered already but even moreso by placing them on hold before we can even get to harping our shit on them! There's no way this could backfire!"

This is only compounded by the fact that I have to pay for minutes on my cell, so there's a 0% chance for anyone of me holding a conversation that lasts more then 30 seconds. If you're calling me to just chat, I'm hanging up on your ass. You better say everything in the first ten seconds.. fuck, don't say hello, just tell me the information and then I'll either ignore you or tell you to find me. But what the fuck is the point of calling me to just put me on hold before I know what the fuck is going on?

That number is dead to me now.

-Mark, still pissed about fuckers calling me and putting me on hold. Asshats.

Bring on the collective anger!

2006-01-09T22:32:00.000-05:00

So I'm back to campus again, fresh for another semester. Now although I have two days off, one of which is in serious jeopardy of being stolen from me (thus ruining absolutely everything I worked for in first semester, and will result in me going on a rant of biblical preportion about how much I want to drop out of school, which I'll likely rant about anyway later on), I was thinking that there wouldn't be enough anger to build up and subsequently rant about.

How wrong I was. It seems my pointless science credit I'm required to take because as an arts student, I need to be "expansive", or, driven to the point of failure, is filled with 400 other students. First, it's ridiculously different to my Film classes. Film is like some kind of slacker's paradise, where we all sit around and watch movies, say how much we hate everyone else in the University, how elite we are because there's only 40 "Filmies" on campus, and spread rumours about each other. It's quite gratifying. Moving on, this science course is the "here's a shitload of information crammed into three hours, 98% of which is incomprehensible, and also, I hate you as a student." Actually the profs are nice and the premise of the course is okay, but I'm a lazy shit and I have the attention span of 3 seconds, so if I'm not watching constant visual stimulation I know I'm not gonna pay attention. I'm one day into the class and I already know I don't care.

So why the fuck is the University forcing me to take a Science credit? I can see Science and Math students having to take an arts credit, cause FUCK, it's ARTS classes, any jackass can take a film course and pass. Arts is essentially entertainment, and it's pretty easy to avoid the theory courses of art and take the "fun" ones. Shit people, I paid 5 grand to watch 250 movies in the semester. What are you gonna do about it?

-Mark

I was right

2006-01-05T00:59:00.000-05:00

Okay, what the hell. Apart from the whole bullshit beaucracy I knew I'd have to deal with, why do the put idiots behind the desk to further my rage?

I was doing the usual shit for my loan pickup from the University. Blah blah blah, fill out a shitload of forms, fill out information that you already know, sign the SAME DAMN PIECE OF PAPER FIVE TIMES, leave slightly less disgruntled. Well no, it couldn't go smoothly.

There's this part where I have to fill out all my "Bank" information, which I know since I've done it so many times, but of course the douchebag behind the desk tells me to fill out the WRONG information, and even when I called her on it and TOLD her it was wrong, she WOULDN'T let me change it. So I filled it out wrong, knowing it was wrong because the other 4 billion times I've done this it's been the same numbers, and those weren't them. But of course, she's 200 and knows everything and I'm just some punk University student that forgets everything every three seconds. So I leave this around 12:30, go to the mall to deposit some shit and carouse, etc etc. I get home just after 2:45, and there's a message on my phone.

"There's a problem with your documentation. Please come back to fix it." FUCK YOU, I just fucking got fucking home! And since this shithole closes in the next hour, I hurry my ass back there to FILL OUT THE INFORMATION I WAS RIGHT ABOUT IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Fuck I hate beaurcracy, but more importantly, why is it so hard to believe someone when they know they're right beyond 100%? Age my ass, it just pisses me off when people are so self-absorbed they'd rather fuck someone else over than admit to being wrong.

Assbags. You wasted my day for something I was already right about.

-Mark

Contrary to the obituary report, I'm not dead

2006-01-03T18:08:00.000-05:00

...although I probably mispelled "obituary". However, for anyone wondering, I'm not giving up on this, and I still have plenty more rants that are festering inside of me right now. I've simply been out of town and away from my precious computer for the better half of the week, or I've been hungover (thanks to new years). Coupled with my brand spanking new girlfriend who has taken soome of the rage out of me (how disappointing), The Angry Dome has been a little unloved recently. But never fear, all five readers! I shall return shortly once I clarify all my thoughts!

-Mark

A Holiday Day Sexbomb

2005-12-25T11:19:00.000-05:00

This is actually ripped off from a message board where I post (I made the post, so relax), but it's good so I'm pasting it here. Happy Holiday Day, everyone: This is my present to you.

-----
I think the biggest problem with sexuality in North American culture is that everyone wants it to be "taboo", while the younger generation (and probably this applies to everyone when they're young except a small minority) don't care. For many, sex is a means to an end, a release - and that works for both sexes if it's the right person.

But the absolute biggest problem (compounding this with the tabbo sexuality) is each gender's willingness to blame the other sex for things. It's happened in this thread (I'm not making accussations here; I'm simply being observational, so please don't take offense.) and it'll continue to happen in reality well past anything we can discuss.

But for the most part, the person is willing to blame the opposite sex for things because they aren't sure of what they want for themselves. Ask most girls, and it's likely that at some point will say they want a "sweet, sexy guy", etc etc etc. Ask most guys that aren't a douchebag, and they'll say they want an "attractive, smart girl" etc etcetc. We're not exactly on different pages, but (here I go bashing society) there's this inherent manhood complex in the social scene that a guy isn't a man if he isn't a macho assbag that acts like he wants to bang every hot girl that comes his way. If he has emotions, that somehow makes him less of a man.

And although this is finally starting to break down, the whole complex of the guy having to make the first move is bullshit. More often than not, both parties are interested but this idiotic construct of waiting for the guy to make the move slows things down. It doesn't happen all the time (I've been on both ends of that string), but it's ridiculous. Say you want a guy, and you're fairly certain he wants you (relationship, not sex). Just make the damn move. Both sides waiting for this "perfect moment" (and I'm extremely guilty of that) is horseshit. This kind of awkward "well if she pulls back it's changes everything" and vise versa is stupid - if you go for it and it happens the way you want it to, it STILL CHANGES EVERYTHING. How many long term relationships that end ever go back to the "just friends" thing? Very few. I was in a 4½ year relationship at one point in my life, and when I called it off, we've only spoken a few times since.

Anyway, where was I? Right. The sooner people realize that waiting for that "perfect" moment is pointless because it could essentially ruin what could be the "shot", the sooner I can drive this point home: Life isn't a perfect moment. So you met your next bf/gf in some alley or in a car accident or after your house burned down, or whatever. Who cares? You met them, and isn't that all that really matters in the grand scheme of things?

Oh right.. yeah. Free love. Works for some, not for others. Should it be legalized? Yeah - it's not like we're not aware of the dangers before we go to a strip club or before we get funky with someone. That's life.
----

-Mark

Generation of Cynicism

2005-12-20T23:31:00.000-05:00

Wow. Back to back rants. I'm on a pre-Holiday roll.

Okay, what the fuck is wrong with society not trying to hurt anyone's feelings? Like, suddenly it's a goddamn crime to tell some asshat schoolchild they're wrong, or tell some other teenager that they're a douchebag for thinking like a dumbass. Since when was ALWAYS being positive a good solution?

Seriously, the college/University/recent grads...er...1980-1987 born people grew up with people riding their ass every time they fucked up. And that's the way it SHOULD be. If we teach our kids that no matter what they do, they're never really doing anything negative, they're going to grow up in some magical hippy fairy world where they never grasp the concept of failure, which will ultimately lead to them becoming total fuck ups. ("No, Pi is exactly 3!"). Is that the kind of fucking world we want when people my age are middle-aged and ready to end it all cause their kids are fuckups cause they weren't allowed to fucking tell them they were wrong?

If we never tell people they're wrong, if we never make people SCARED of fucking up so bad everyone will reject them, then we're NEVER going to progress. If you look at the world today, there's more riots, more political unrest, more distrust in leadership, more apathy then ever before from the 80's born - why? Because we've grown up seeing through the bullshit - just as we were taught. There's no more time to be told "everything's okay, you're still right." Being force-fed positive bullshit all the time leads people never to strive to be better, and that reflects on a social scale. Collectively this 80's-gen wants change, because we're tired of seeing fuckups. It's doubtful we'll get the chance to lead the change as an individual, but when enough of us are beaten to hell by riot police, and we annoy the fuck out of enough important people, changes will start to occur. We just haven't rioted right yet. But alas, when it's figured out, shit will get serious. I could give a fuck if the entire city I live in is burned to the ground if PEOPLE GET THE POINT THAT WE WANT CHANGE. How did we ever grow up being told negative things? We've seen through the bullshit - we've become very good at it. Older generations are just ready to accept things for how they are, or they are so wrapped up in themselves that they don't want anything to change.

Well face it. The next generation is the Generation of Cynicism, and that doesn't bode well for those who are set in their ways. Society should never get "comfortable" in a certain way, and it's getting mighty comfortable repressing any thoughts that disagree with it right now. Apart from that, it's still swinging in the wrong direction. Once we start telling the younger ones that it's NOT okay to be wrong and think you're right, we'll start to see a positive swing in society. I'll get into my political views in a later rant, cause I definitely don't think one party should rule all for long periods of time.

Well now you know. Tell those fucks when they're wrong, make them cry if you have to. We've spent long enough respecting their feelings and trying to make everyone feel good. Now it's time we pull our heads out of our asses.

-Mark

The mundane is not interesting

2005-12-20T23:19:00.000-05:00

I've noticed this for the last year and a bit, and at last it's built up enough swagger for me to rant about it.

I'll admit, when I'm bored frequently, I go on message boards. For the most part it's about baseball, but whatever. There's a few I just go back to for nostagala's sake. But what I've noticed on those, and on blogs, is people's seemingly never-ending conquest to let absolutely anyone that reads or sees them EVERYTHING they're doing. Like, it's some kind of cult to be a wikipedia.com user. Who gives a fuck? Or the endless signatures on message boards that show people the "last songs listened to by user jackass".

It does not give you more status to plug every pointless thing you do on the internet. "Oh, I use firefox." "Oh, I use Wikipedia." "Oh, I listen to music." Seriously, why should I give a shit? This is just indicitive of a larger problem - people that have no life turn to the internet to feel elitists because they can't do shit in reality. Wow, you're cool cause you can reject people you've never met. Oh, you're cool because you use wikipedia - something EVERY GODDAMN PERSON that wants to know something uses.

You don't see every asshat on the street saying "Hey! I obey traffic signals! I'm better than you!", so why does this give us an open ticket on the internet? I can start idiotic random cults of people that use information sources or ENJOY MUSIC. What could you possibly have in common with someone else that uses wikipedia? "Oh my god, we both use the same internet resource site! You're so fuckin' awesome now!"

Jackass. And don't give me that "free speech" bullshit. Free speech applies to people speaking their mind without persecution, NOT telling everyone every piece of useless shit you did in the day. Free speech allows me to say things like "All religion is wrong" or "I disagree with the politics of Uzbekistan" and I won't get killed for it. NOT "I had a piece of toast when I woke up today, and I also use wikipedia when I need to look up something." Note the difference.

-Mark

Avoison. (It's a word, look it up!)

2005-12-15T10:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, I've tried to avoid this for awhile, but it seems that I just kept getting slapped in the face with it.

Christmas. "Merry Christmas", "Happy Holidays", "Fuck you and your celebration", honestly people, it doesn't mean shit how you call it. It's the same damn thing. Why are people so upset that a shitload of people that are trying so hard "not to offend non-Christmas celebrating people" by saying Merry Christmas? I've read articles about schools banning the word Christmas in classes - why? Seriously, I'm an agnostic that doesn't "celebrate" Christmas but I still take the day off and whore gifts at people, I just don't call it Christmas. I made it my own day (affectionately called "Holiday Day" to myself).

But honestly, has the governments around the world ran out of important things to complain about? So people don't celebrate Christmas - who gives a fuck? Why is the government in USA (and Canada, to a lesser extent) making so sure they don't offend anyone, and then all these batshit insane people start complaining about being oppressed?

Here's the solution to this problem, in a way that NOBODY can complain (even though they will): Oppress every single religion-specific holiday name in the history of time. Anyone that disagrees is shot. Either that, or SHUT THE FUCK UP and live with it. I mean, how the hell did I grow up being non-religious and having to hear "Merry Christmas" every year? Here's how: I just did, and I didn't give a shit.

Now obviously I'm a pretty special case, being that I really don't give a fuck about much of anything - but it just pisses me off when people bitch about the changing world. It's gonna change, jackass. That doesn't give you an open ticket to endlessly complain about how you're being left behind. It's not exactly like one person is on some random crusade to stop people from saying Merry Christmas.

It's highly unlikely that anyone non-religious that sees the sign "Merry Christmas" in a store window will get offended. And if they do, and complain, then DON'T SHOP THERE. It's not like the general public has the conviction to stand by their boycotts. The only thing I've ever boycotted and stuck to it was McDonalds food and drinks. I've still ate the ice cream, cause y'know.. that's ice cream. And I do that like once a year.

Anyway, I digress. The point is that I'm tired of hearing BOTH sides of the Christmas argument. Say "Merry Christmas" if you want to; don't if you don't. There's way bigger injustices going on in the world ("like why are these politicans in office?", and "shit, Holiday Day is in 10 days and I haven't started shopping.")

-Mark

I'm back, meatfucks!

2005-12-12T21:49:00.000-05:00

Okay, so my bajillion things HAVE FINALLY COMPLETED (including a relationship! I know what you're thinking.... how did this cynical bastard get a girlfriend? Well now he doesn't have one, so relax. The world is right again.), which leads me to rant freely again for a month. LOOKOUT FUCKERS!!

Okay. The smoking thing. I hinted at it previously, but now it's time to let the shit out. What the fuck is with smokers? It's got to be possibly the most unattractive thing a person can do to their image. Yes, please, let me make out with an ashtray or give myself cancer cause you're a douchebag. I mean, there are attractive people, but when I see them smoking, it fills me with disdain - first, you're fucking up my environment, my health, and you look like something that got shit out of a leather store. I mean, especially for females - where is the desire in talking like a trucker named Rosco and looking like you're 45 at 22? "It helps me relax." Well fuck you. Get the fuck away from my entranceway, and I don't want to see you while you smell like ass. It reflects badly enough that that shit sticks to my clothes just from me walking by you wads of cancer.

I hope you all burn yourselves to death. Or stay the fuck out of my sight.

-Mark

Smoking

2005-11-30T00:43:00.000-05:00

This'll really be an introductory rant before I REALLY get into it when I have the time, but what the hell, people. Smoking is NOT hot. Giving yourself cancer to rebell against things is NOT cool.. you look like a douche and you're infecting my air... and killing me. Technically anything I do to you is self defence from this point out....

More later, but if you're a smoker, you're going to be eating it real soon.

-Mark

Just punch me in the face

2005-11-27T18:53:00.000-05:00

Christ, what a week - four shifts and six essays on the hellish schedule. I didn't really mind the shifts, but I made the idiotic decision to drink a pop, and now I feel like shit. I've also been taking a shitload of expired pills cause they're there (opened in my backpack that I've had since I was 13), and I dunno if it's contributing. I still need a flu shot, and my stomach is unliking me cause of my pop-drinking ways.

I never learn. On the plus side, only EVERYTHING is due right now!

I fuckin' HATE winter - holy shit, I'm on a lot of pain killers. Fuckin' winter.

More when I'm not high.

-Mark

What the hell

2005-11-19T17:41:00.000-05:00

Last week I got 14 hours of sleep in TOTAL, and I didn't even feel like shit. In fact, parts of my body HEALED. What the fuck? Luckily, I ruined the headling by going into my house through an 1X1 broken window, so now I look like a war veteran. Eat it, anyone who's never won a purple heart!

-Mark

Unfocussed rant

2005-11-11T22:28:00.000-05:00

What the fuck is up with bullshit things we can't cure immediately? If technology allows us to fucking properly heal bones, have our bodies regenerate blood,, and remove fucking tumours, then WHY THE FUCK isn't there a goddamn cure for bullshit like CANKER FUCKING SORES - jesus shit, these fuckers have invaded my mouth for the last month, and it's like they're ready to start a goddamn war. Don't give me that "sleep more" shit, cause I don't have time. Apparently University likes to kick you in the gonads while you're recovering from a foot up the ass they gave you 10 seconds earlier. I mean seriously, 5 fucking essays due in the first 6 days of December? Fuck you, I'm not even LEARNING anything, just reitterating bullshit I hear them say. Fuck you school, fuck you medicare, fuck you sleep, and fuck you CANKER SORES! I WANT TO EAT SALTY THINGS AGAIN YOU ASSHOLE!

-Mark

Religion can eat it too.

2005-11-08T23:54:00.000-05:00

This rant is WAY long overdue. In fact, I'm surprised I didn't harp on religion in my first rant, and in every single rant since.

Religion WAS necessary at a point in history - ancient, fucking, uncivilized history. Before there were societies like we established in the industrial revolution, religion was used as a form of governing. This was fine, even though religious leaders seldom didn't abuse their power, what with trying to convert societies far more adapt at survival then their own. But harping god was standard, and without the kind of INTELLIGENT civilization (and I say this with reluctance) that we have today, religion was free to rule as god and nobody knew better to question it. Of course, it was used to justify idiotic things, like wars, murder, rape, etc. Let the oppression bell ring!

Anyway, since we evolved and started learning how contrived and holed religion's standpoint is, we've seen an inception of disbelievers. And rightfully so. Religion has mainly acted now as an annoying censor, getting in the way of actual development by trying to enforce two fucking thousand year old principles on a modern society. Back in the 30s and before the de-moralization of the 70s which has been taken even more extreme now (and HUZZAH), the bulk of people were still fundamentally religious, and religion still had a thumping way of controlling things - basically it was "complain enough and have veil threats, and people will listen". For the most part, I'm referring to religion's innate hatred of basically every new technology ever invented since the industrial revolution.

But since civilization started more sophisticated government (see: Democracy that's actually democracy, not "USA fake democracy"), with policing and basically a law structure to administer justice and more clearly define what's acceptable and what's not (although some do have room for negioation, there's the principles that are very common), the need for censorship has virtually anulled itself. For the most part, censorship has been enforced by bible thumping crazies that hate to see something they don't approve of, so they take the standpoint "instead of NOT watching it ourselves, let's ruin it for everyone by trying to force it off mainstream!" This kind of insane oppression utterly destroys the hope of technological advancement, originality, creative thought, and most importantly, individualism. When you're trying to create something for entertainment purposes, having to deal endlessly with a moral code that you don't necessarily agree with and with the chance of some bible thumping lunatic to tell you that's "blasphemic" or "unmoral" or some other shit, basically restrains you from creating what could be a masterpiece - instead, you are forced to churn out the same repeated garbage to appease a minority of collared shirt Sundaymen.

With self-censorship in place and economic reality basically making the two work seamlessly, the need for religious censorship has basically come defunct. All religion can come up with is tired conventions that are 2000 years old and completely a step backwards in today's society. With economics controlling the world, religion is defunct in controlling society. So take the hint and fuck off - you're ruining it for people with actual talent and vision.

Mark

Not so angry... This angers me

2005-11-02T22:25:00.000-05:00

So, if anyone's wondering why I haven't blogged in near a week, it's cause I haven't had anything to be enraged at. UNTIL NOW!

Last week, while reading my University's bullshit newspaper, I happened upon some opinion comments about the three main parties in Canada. Of course, each representative of the University's slave, I mean, free-spirited partisan hacks ranted about how great their various parties are and why we should all mindlessly join their cult.. I mean, party based on a one paragraph lie. If there's one thing I've learned about politicians, it's that they all suck.

But what gets me more is the bullshit these douchebags wrote. Instead of taking the time to say what their party is GOING to do, they just harped on what the other two parties DIDN'T do or did WRONG. Here's a clue, assface: Instead of saying what parties fail at, how about doing something different in politics for once, like telling the public WHAT your party stands for? Maybe if you stood up for something and made a promise, people would vote for your worthless candidate. Oh wait, if you say something concrete, you could be held accountable! Everyone in politics is so busy covering their own ass BEFORE they even can do anything... is it any wonder nothing ever gets done properly in any country's politics?

-Mark

Music is more important than you

2005-10-29T00:10:00.000-04:00

"I realized something today - I like music. Music is great. If your thoughts go from 'what should I eat, to... I've failed everyone that's ever loved me', music is a great distration!" - Jon Stewart

Okay, I had to throw in a quote from Stewart, but that quote is more true than he thinks. Music is almost like a friend that will never let you down, as (in my opinion) it's the quickest access to push people's emotions. All it takes is a song that speaks to your mood at the time, and it instantly is like you're talking to a friend that understands how you feel. Music can help you "rock out", it can enhance happy moments...

But more importantly, it doesn't let you down, or leave you when you really need it - it's always right there, which is a quality that people don't have. I'm not saying people will always let you down, but there's just some times when nobody can be there when you need them, and that's when music helps.

For me, music acts as a calming agent - most specifically, Bloc Party's songs. When I get all wound up (or pissed off, sad, annoyed, etc), I throw on some Bloc, and I forget whatever's around me. It helps me space out for a few minutes, and clear my thoughts. I've never known any non-illegal or booze-related substance that helps alter your mind so freely. And we let it happen. This is a short rant, I know, but I really think music is the most persuasive medium (Film and TV come close, but music has an edge). After all, it's not like we get "shows" or "movies" stuck in our heads as much as songs or lyrics. And because the artists are real and not actors, music takes on a far more intimate identification with the listener - because it's like that artist understands. In TV and Film, the director, although they may identify with how you feel, you only view actors - and never put a concrete face to the opinions.

-Mark

The angriest rant of all

2005-10-27T00:32:00.000-04:00

That's it people. I'm fucking tired of people dumping their problems on me over and over, the same problems, over and over, and NEVER FUCKING SOLVING IT. If these problems you're all having are so life-shatteringly devistating, make a fucking choice to either:

1: Do something about the fucking thing yourself; make a fucking choice for once
2: Live with it the way it is and shut the hell up.

Cause I'm so friggin uncaring towards everyone's problems now because no matter what advice they ask for from me, it's never carried through. If it was bad advice tell me, but if I'm making a point, then goddamn do it instead of padding your ego until you lose the balls to fucking change your life. Next time I have to hear the same shit come out of all your mouths, I'm going to make it so obvious that I don't give a shit you'll all hopefully get the point and shut up. You've had like 9000 chances to change your lives people - and if you're too chickenshit to make a decision by yourself then that's your goddamn problem. But life's way too fucking short to life in a shitty situation and never do dick about it. If you're not going to make a decision, or even make an effort to make a decision, shut the fuck up and live with your non-decision. Stop. Fucking. Complaining. To. Me. And. Do. Something.

Jesus titty-fucking christ people.

-Mark

Culture of Anti-Socialities

2005-10-22T17:52:00.000-04:00

Okay, this is a hot topic of my mind, and it's actually unique for once.

I was thinking that society blows, which it does. Specifically, pop culture. But the more I thought about it, the more I realized that it's that virtually everyone you talk to you will claim to be unique in some way or other. While that's all good, and maybe true (but probably what people would say is total bullshit), alot of people find a way to separate themselves from society, in ways they are unique.

Society is faster and faster looking like a bad thing to be involved with, thanks in large part to popculture. What I've seen in the recent years is a general disdain for the moral dearth we experience, and blah blah blah "society is stupid/bad/I don't like it", etc etc, but it's the very thing that we say we don't like that we are part of.

It's becoming part of our society to hate our society. Maybe it's a Canadian "let's complain about everything" thing, but we've become the very thing we hate, and that's a society that hates society. We all say what we don't like about it, but we still go out and live it - after all, without it we'd never leave the house. Instead of instigating changes, we've merely accepted that society blows, but we're going to be a part of it because "everyone else is". Cult mentality, one of which virtually all of us are a part of. It's a small addition, but an addition nonetheless. If only we all knew that we can instigate change if we all knew we hated society.

Then again, gathering a society of people that hate society that want to change society to impose a society they would like seems kind of..... iroinc to me.

-Mark

Inconsistency

2005-10-19T22:50:00.000-04:00

Despite the impression people may get from this blog, I'm actually an easy-going person in "reality".

However, that can sometimes result in me getting stepped all over. I, as I have ranted about in the past, do my best to be supportive, and etc etc. Alot of the times, I'll cancel plans for someone else, or switch my motives to hang out with someone. But what I really can't stand is when someone commits to me, and then decides to stand me up or do something else without notifying me. Emergencies I can understand (in retrospect), but I have a phone which is ALWAYS with me, it's not hard to leave me a message so I don't waste half my time waiting when I could be doing something more productive, in some instances, SLEEPING.

I have a busy schedule as it is, with 30 hours of class and two jobs (and possibly a third soon). It's just lucky for me that I don't sleep much more than 5-6 hours a night, sometimes 4, and recently, not sleeping for 62 hours in a row (not because I didn't want to). That extra time gives me a chance to use the midnight hours to catch up on all the things I'd usually do if I didn't have plans or work, but when people stand me up, I fuckin' hate it.

If I'm going to put the effort into seeing you, then the least you could do is tell me you can't make it or you'll be late - not just leaving without telling me. I'm a forgiving person since I'm too lazy to hold grudges, and I don't get expressively angry, because I don't want to say things I don't mean, plus I figure I'm bitter enough in my normal mood as it is. But just because I'm understanding doesn't give you the right to act like I won't give a shit if you keep standing me up - eventually I'll just stop caring, stop trying, then you won't have a person to talk to or hang out with. And then don't expect sympathy from me when you need something to talk about.

I'm not petty in the sense that I'll make plans with a person just to stand them up for revenge - that just makes you look like a bigger asshole - instead, avoiding the situation altogether keeps it from happening again. Then you're screwed. And if people think I have trouble cutting ties with people I know well, they're sadly mistaken. I refuse to be treated as a convienence person - the effort goes both ways.

That's all for now.

-Mark

Random crap

2005-10-17T00:18:00.000-04:00

People, by which I mean, nobody, have been wondering what this stylistically inclined blogger may look like outside of his pimp-like profile picture.

Also, because I'm essentially a camwhore, here's two more pics of me. Guess which one is the best picture ever taken of me.

I dunno why, but I like this pic of me.

It just never gets old.

-Mark

Will power and the lack of it

2005-10-16T18:53:00.000-04:00

I absolutely can't stand some parts of myself that are seemingly impossible to change.

For example: I do enjoy writing, although I don't do it that often, and usually I start things and never finish them. It's more of a passing interest, but I think visually, which is why writing can be difficult at times.

However, I've developed a innate skill I'll call "essay bullshit". I pale in comparison to my old roommate, who could pimp out mindless shit the night before and still rake in 80's. Essays are easy for me to write, and I can digress for pages and then find some backwards way to make it seem to connect to my original point.

But when my essays go awry, I am usually too lazy to fix it. It's not a big deal since the lowest grade I've got on an essay was 72, back in first year. My real problem is that I just don't give a shit about my own education enough to try to do well. I enjoy risking everything, for some reason this gives me a thrill that I could fail for being so damn lazy.

Example: Right now I SHOULD be doing a months worth of readings for a midterm in two days, but I'm going to go in cold and bs my way through it.

I wish I could stop, cause virtually everyone but the master himself (old roomie) says this'll bite me in the ass. This sentence works well as a transition to my actual point.

I hate it when people try and control others actions through repeated lectures. I'm not a dumbass, I heard you the first time - but it's obvious I don't care, and I've grown tired of telling people to piss off with lectures about how I go through life. If someone can't respect you and the decisions you make, and you've made it clear that you're not listening to them, they need to get over their complex and just accept you for who you are. At least it gives them the right to throw it back in your face if they ever prove themselves wrong. The point is, if I'm not at a stage in my life where I feel uncomfortable slackassing my way through my degree, why the hell is everyone bothering me about it? I mean, I get lectured from a friend that dropped out of college because she has deluded visions that everyone is attracted to her and that they will only pass her if she sleeps with them. Shouldn't you be focussing on how fucked you are instead of telling me I should try harder? Last time I checked, my marks are still high(er than yours), so shut up.

Wow, that rant got pretty personal. I'll keep it informal next time.

-Mark

I'm tired

2005-10-10T18:20:00.000-04:00

Of having to hear how every disaster is an act of god, and how people surviving is a miracle. NO IT'S FUCKING NOT!!!

Look, I've got nothing against the people struggling in New Orleans, but if you were too retarded to leave that Waterworld 2: Kevin Costner free! set, then fuck, it's not a miracle that you managed to swim your ass down a flooded street or hole up in a 1X1 patch of land while eating a tin of beans until someone smarter then you rescued you. Why the fuck didn't you leave 3 days before it happened?

And the people that were stuck because they couldn't swim - HA! That's what you get for living there.

Douchebags.

-Mark

Generational problems

2005-09-24T20:22:00.000-04:00

Okay, since I seem to be binge-angry right now, here's another rant - fresh for the masses.

I've noticed that one problem with our generation is that we're chronic liars. Now this isn't to say that the older generations or younger generations (probably too young, since I'm talking the 18-28 demographic here) don't lie, I'm just saying that our generation has become almost solely dependant on lies.

We seem to feel compelled to lie - either to cover up something, or just to make our lives more mysterious. One could be doing something totally pointless, and they'd tell others they were out shopping, when the reality is they were just hanging with a friend. I can't understand this. I'm typically a brutally honest person, usually painfully blunt as well.

Maybe it's that the older generations just don't trust us - it probably stems from feeling like we have to lie to make it seem like we're innocent. Fuck that, just tell the truth. If you lie, you're probably ashamed of your actions, or afraid of the consequences. I really don't care about the consequences of what I do, so I just tell people what I've done.

Creating a community of distrust has destroyed any kind of honesty one may ever have. Relationships are ruined between people over small things because it's just a lie that compounds, and compounds to save the lie. Why do people care so much about covering up?

People shouldn't have to feel like they have to lie to live the way they want. So many say they don't care what others think, but it's clear they do if they lie to everyone about what they do. If you really want to be who you're comfortable with, be it, and tell others that's who you are.

I hate it when people lie to me - it just makes me stop talking to them. So if anyone wonders why I'm not talking to them anymore - now you know. What really, really, pisses me off is when people lie in the sense that "well this person did that for me, so you should too". The reality is, they're just saying that to make it seem like you should, when it's just taking advantage of you.

That and when people say they'll be somewhere at a certain time knowing they won't. If you say you'll be back from wherever at noon, and you come back seven hours later... yeah, that's a lie too.

-Mark

The intArweb is not the place for self-discovery

2005-09-24T00:30:00.000-04:00

I'm back, bitches.

I've been curising the intershnitzel for the first time in a week (damn classes filling my precious drinking time). And of course, I've found something that enrages me.

I'm tired of seeing all these stupid online personality quizzes that tell you the "kind" of person you are. The "you are a caring, generous, etc etc etc person" bullshit.

An example of the personality quiz BS.
A big WTF example. Lemons are enemies? This is the BS I'm really talking about.
You get the point. Moving on...

Here's a clue: THERE'S NO NEGATIVE ANSWERS. You could be a child rapist but you'd just be a "strong, silent type that prefers to read". Now for the most part it's just idiotic teens filling out this shit, but it's still a growing problem. These damn personality quizzes won't tell you anything you shouldn't already know, and if you're really that insecure that you have to broadcast to the world who you think you are, you've probably got no friends anyway. Or you're lying. Besides, those stupid things are so subjective that you could literally find any abstract way to relate yourself to something said in the blurb.

I just want to know why people keep using these. The internet is a place to kick back and relax, or surf, or whatever. If you want to find out who you are, go out and find it - don't rely on some jackass "you're a great person no matter what you pick" quiz. We are shaped by our actions, and trust me, there actually are bad people in the world - and you're one of them. Everyone is pretty terrible, when you think about it. Those quizzes are total BS and shouldn't be filled out by people looking to pat themselves on the back and broadcast "hey look! Take notice of me because I'm these things!"

Nobody gives a shit if the internet says you are. Go out and DO something to show us. You'll find out quickly how full of shit that was. You're not nice - you bitch about your petty shit that no one cares about, and when people tell you the truth that they don't care, you get pissed. Fuck you, you're not important, and your problems are stupid. And you'd realize this if you didn't fill out that shit to avoid the fact that your "friends" are right. You ARE stupid and worthless.

So stop using that shit and live life. Everyone's fake anyway, and you'll discover who you are more in a public setting then sitting on your ass in front of your computer.

-Mark

Complaining about Relationships

2005-09-19T16:22:00.000-04:00

Here's some shit I've noticed (yes, I'm back) in my 20 years of pointless existence.

I'm really getting tired of hearing people bitch and bitch about "problems that never change". Or "people that treat me like shit". Here's the thing. The problems don't change because YOU don't actually do shit to change it. So many people are so dependant on the routine they've got used to, they fail to notice the minute alterations that happen as time passes. This is most obvious in relationships: At first everything is great, there's that euphoric stage where neither partner can do anything wrong - then slowly, one, or both start knowing the intracies of each other. That'd be the "comfort level".

The comfort level is probably the biggest cancer to relationships in the history of time. Might as well change the comfort to "take advantage of the other person", because that's when one person just starts acting like themself - which is something you DON'T want in a relationship. Well you DO, but it never happens that way. What it really boils down to is that you either want to control the person you're with, or you want to have the freedom to do whatever the hell you want and your partner just has to live with it. Both are bullshit.

The reason you're SUPPOSED to be with the other person is because they bring out the best in you, and vise versa - and you like seeing that in each other (I'm not talking about casual dating, more of a long-term thing). You're both giving up a little freedom to be with the other person - but the amount of joy you receive from being with said person is supposed to make up for it.

So many times, this doesn't happen. Someone gets walked all over, and the other person feels belittled or mistreated. Then some sorry-ass apology is supposed to make up for it? Bullshit. Accepting such a shit cop-out is really just telling the person that you're letting them do it again.

"But they make me happy sometimes." Bull.Fucking.Shit. They should be making you happy ALL the time, not walking over you and then doing something to make up for it. There shouldn't be a "oops, make-up" stage in relationships. Maybe once, but repeatedly? Hell no. I've often wondered why people bother giving second/third/fourth/infinite chances to their partner. The most one should EVER get is a second chance - cause yes, sometimes people change. But 95% of the time - no.

I don't care if you love this person or if you really dig them, the fact that anyone would stay in an unhappy relationship to me, shows weakness. Sitting around hoping or waiting for change will not make it happen - it takes two sides to change, and it'll never fucking happen if the unhappy side doesn't bring it up. Discussion and communication is key in relationships, and so many long-term relationships slowly lose that, or they never had it.

"They used to treat me so well." Who gives a shit what happened in the past? If it's cheating, then you get the FUCK out of that relationship. You're a douchebag for staying in the first place if that's the case. However, if it's a treatment, where one side was great, and now aren't, don't fucking stay silent. Again, focus on what's been happeninig in the recent times. If this is ongoing, and seemingly uncaused (if there's an outside factor, like a major sickness, or family issues, fine, but it's still not an excuse to treat your partner like shit), the abused partner needs to leave. Or address it at the very least. I'm so fucking sick of hearing people tell me the same shit over and over and over. Do something about it. I usually be my best to be supportive and lend advice when I can, but there's times where I just stop giving a shit, cause the person complaining doesn't make an effort to actually change anything.

"I don't deserve better." Bull.Fucking.Shit. You deserve to be treated the way you treat people. If you adore someone and they trash you, don't settle for it. Tell the bitch/jackass - if they don't change, fuck 'em. Just because you love someone doesn't mean you should sit there and take all the shit they deal out all the time. And telling yourself you don't deserve better is just a cop-out, it's basically saying "I don't want to deal with the problem", or "It really doesn't bother me as much as I say it does."

Maybe it's just (in my observation), people are afraid to be alone. Yeah okay it sucks, trust me I know (single for awhile now), and it does get lonely, but the longer you stay in an unhappy relationship, the more chance you're letting yourself miss the person that would treat you right. They could just pass you by or fuck, you could know them already and they may find someone else - then you're REALLY fucked.

I just can't put my finger on why people do what they do to themselves in relationships. I for one, NEVER, EVER, do breaks. If someone I was with put me on a break, I'd get the fuck out - I have more self-respect than to be cast aside and then brought back when it's convienent for the other person. Fuck you - I'll move on, you piece of shit. This drags back to the "fear of being alone". Maybe it's just that some people have some self-depricating need to be with someone - fine, but you're really treating yourself like garbage when you let the person that put you on a break take you back. You shouldn't take their ass back - you only get one shot at relationships, and people don't realize this. Have some fucking self-respect!!! I can't stand hearing how person X took back their girlfriend/boyfriend after a break - do you honestly think that the pain you just went through can be forgotten? If a break happens, just pick up your shit and walk away. Yeah, it hurts alot, but at least you wouldn't have to live with the fact that they did that to you and you took their worthless ass back. Move on, find someone new. If you're a female, it's really not that hard to find another guy. If you're a guy, prepare to put effort in again.

Overall, I'm just tired of having to listen to people bitch and moan they're unhappy, and then see nothing happen to rectify it. If you're really as unhappy as you say you are, do something other than bitch to me. Yeah, I can be there for support (what are friends for but support, good times, and to poke fun?), but eventually, if all I hear is complaints and I never see a change, I'll stop caring.

I'm done for now - but shit, I had to get that off my mind. HAVE SELF-RESPECT, PEOPLE!!

-Mark

For the 4 people.

2005-09-18T11:48:00.000-04:00

That actually read my blog - no, I haven't given up, I'm still filled with irrational hate for random societal things. Problem is, I've been in and out of the doctor's office for the last two weeks, so the dome is kind of like the gas chambers right now - eeriely quiet, awaiting the next set of people thinking they're having "showers".

Good show. Had to throw in a holocaust ref there just to keep people enraged.

-Mark

Oil companies and alternative fuel

2005-09-02T18:00:00.000-04:00

Let's all face facts: The oil companies have us by the balls. In a sense, it was a work of genius on their part to not compete with each other and decide collectively to just all charge basically the same amount of money. Everyone is screwed, and nobody's willing to give up driving unless they absolutely can't afford it. (People like me can just BARELY afford to drive). But since gas here in Canada topped the $1.00/litre mark, I've said enough. Since then, and it's been nearly a month, I've only got gas twice. Once at 106, and just a few hours ago at a ridiculous 128.

Now, here's my question. Where is the justification in raising the gas prices 22 cents overnight, which happened a few days ago? It takes approximately 40 days for the oil to come from the ground to be refined, mixed, etc etc etc to gas in the pumps, so explain to me how they know that it'll be "harder" in 40 days to find the oil?

I mean, how many times do oil companies have to grab and twist until the public says that's enough? I mean, the chance that they'll price themselves out of the market is unlikely since it's the only source available. And the government doesn't do anything to encourage other fule sources since they make sweet coin off of taxes.

But all it'll take is one brass-balled entrepuener to develop an alternative fuel source, and if they could just get it to work with modern engines - it wouldn't even have to be fuel effeceint at first, as long as it works out to being cheaper in the same distance.

Here's my suggestion, and it's been said 4 billion times by like six people, and nobody seems to care or listen, and they really should. WATER, bitches!

Let's see: Renewable? Yes. Bountiful? Yes. Easy to extract from the ground? Just ask New Orleans. Cleaner burning? Likely.

Water covers 70% of the ground, making it retardedly plentiful and easy to access for fuel use. Besides, this has the potential to solve global warming at the same time: Given the amount of oil used, transfer that to water and multiply it by 2, or 3, or 4 if you really want to. So even at 25% effeciency of oil, there's still about 100X the amount. And let's say, for example, that it pollutes the same amount, still adding to global warming: Who gives a shit? It's water, so even if those start melting, it's just creating more fuel. The answer? More consumption. Since the fumes released would be cleaner than oil (try drinking oil over water and see if you don't die), it'd just go into the air, clouds, and huzzah! The cycle of re-creating fuel begins.

Instead of killing mother nature, why don't we work with it until Katrina finds some friends and the Polar Ice Caps kill us all? We're trying to avoid making flop movie Waterworld come true, but so far we're making Kevin Costner look like a profit instead of a terrible actor. But I digress.

In summation: Water = Solution. Oil companies = Rich whores screwing the consumer.

Stealth: The Movie That Should Be Tossed into a Volanco

2005-08-26T18:27:00.000-04:00

I recently sat down and subjected myself to 2 hours of visual torture - I watched Stealth.

Don't get me wrong - this COULD have been a good movie. Instead, for the first ten minutes we are greeted by ongoing explosions. Anyone with half a brain knew what we were in store for by the time the three pilots landed back on the ship. But it gets even better: We meet the characters, who are as predictable and stereotypical as ever: A black pilot named Henry Purcell (played by Jamiee Foxx) that listens to his "old-school" culture music while mixing in rap culture and of course: He's a womanizer. The other male pilot, Lt. Ben Gannon (Josh Lucas) is your tpyical "plays by his own rules" character, who takes idiotic risks and blatantly ignores his Captain's orders more than once. He's also a womanizer, because we wouldn't want originality in these characters. But there's a saving grace of predictability! If it's a team of three, and we've got a male minority, and a chauvinist male squadron leader. . . we need a female! But not just any female - she's got to be the stable, bookworm type that never does anything against regulation and never steps out of line. This character is named Kara Wade (Jessica Biel).

Of course, the audience is told the "plot": There's a new crewmember, but it's an experimental AI. Only Ben raises an objection to this, saying that war shouldn't be mechanical - the only thing I agreed with him on in the whole movie. Regardless, on the first flyout with "Eddie" the Robot pilot, they get put on an emergency mission to bomb a terrorist building.

All goes well, and then on the way back, lightning strikes Eddie, and his wiring goes haywire. What a shocking surprise. Eddie starts thinking differently, becomes obsessed with some encrypted file that doesn't exist, and on the next mission, goes insane and disobeys orders. When the three crewmembers try and stop him, everything "exciting" (see: Predictable) happens. Henry tries to take down Eddie, but instead crashes into a mountain. And while Kara is flying through that, debris catches her plane and eventually, her wing rips off, forcing her to eject and land.... in none other than North Korea. How delightfully convienent for more explosive action sequences!

Ben then is instructed to bring back the insane war mongering robot plane, which results in the explosion of a fuel blimp in one of the most gag-enducing scenes in the movie since the beginning of time. Shortly after, Eddie and Ben engage in a dogfight with two Russian fighter planes, and shoot them down. That's the last we hear about the Russians. I suppose The Russian government doesn't mind two unannounced American jets shooting down their fighter jets in Russian No-Fly Zones?

As if this movie wasn't bad enough, director Rob Cohen pushes a romance subplot in the middle of this. Ben, the chauvinist, 'loves' Kara, the good girl. And of course, she's willing to risk it all for him. Excuse me while I gag again, but that just seems too Pearl Harbour for my tastes.

I won't ruin the entire movie and tell you how it ends, but 10/1 odds you could guess without ever watching it and you would probably be right. There's more plotholes, such as why a robot plane would need music, why nobody has to face the consequences of blowing up buildings, or attacking North Korea AND Russia without explanation.

The special effects in Stealth are decent. But they are used in such cliche ways it makes it unbearable to watch. And the amount of handheld camera shots make the attempt at suspence and discomfort seem like a mockery. It also completely ruins one fight scene, where the camera shakes and pans so much the viewer can't see what's going on at all.

It seems like Rob Cohen has ran out of creative juice since The Skulls in 2000. Since then he's thrown out mindless action flicks, and Stealth is no exception. All in all, any attempt at a moral point is lost in the weak characters, terrible plot, and numerous holes. If you like feeling your IQ drop during the course of the movie, then by all means see this immediately. Otherwise, you'd get more intellectual stimulation from watching the Red Shirts die in Star Trek: TOS.

-Mark

Once again

2005-08-17T00:10:00.000-04:00

I realized my life is a spinning web of lies. I frequently forget this, so it's like a kick to the junk everytime that realization comes back.

Just thought to let you know. At least everyone lives in their own personal lies - to themselves, telling themselves they're happy. Nobody's really happy - just not sad.

-Mark

Hey, America, do this

2005-08-16T02:45:00.000-04:00

As a Canadian, I feel it is my duty to tell American to fix their election douchebaggery. Now it's too late to solve the last 8 years (including the years we haven't lived yet), but you can make up for it in one shot:

Click here for your 2008 Presidential Solution

-Mark

Ctrl-V

2005-08-14T17:52:00.000-04:00

Everyone do it in the comments.

Mine:

Peter - "Our way of life is puritanism touched by orgy. French Canadians' way of life is one of orgy touched by puritanism" says:
i almost entered a grape stomping competition yesterday
Mark - One shitty season down, Sudbury to come says:
because you wanted to further destroy the shattered dignity humanity holds on to?

Classic. Your turn.

-Mark

Dear Emo Girl: Shut up.

2005-08-10T00:53:00.000-04:00

I stumbled upon this crime of the internet today.

Since when did people feel webspace was for cluttering up with their utterly pointless, pointless lives? This is an especially bad case, where she literally tells everyone everything she damn well did. Including 11 dollars.

I mean, not only was I infatuated with how terrible it was, I was astonished someone could actually lead a life so uninteresting and still find time to bore the rest of the people that read it. Literally, some of the things written are so ridiculously uninteresting, it's hard to properly channel my rant here.. Examples:

"At least I had a good cry session twice yesterday. Was sick of people yelling. We didn't do anything at Angela and Eric's wedding so I was free to roam. Went outside and stayed away from everyone. Go anti-socialness."

"First period- was boring, we did presentations for our POW's. I think my group passed. Who knows? Found out Starr and I have a lot in common and that Chaz eats icky Power Bars.
Second period- still did nothing."

"Ack! School is sooooo stressful. I just wanted to choke a biotch. And I swear, if one more person asks if I'm going to go out with David again or if I like Julian there will be hell to pay! Do these people not understand that I have a boyfriend, whom I'm very in love with? Hmm? Do they? Apparently not. Stupid people!!"

I'll spare you all the rest of the crap, cause anyone telling people each period of their 10TH GRADE CLASSES clearly needs a life and actual friends.

I continue to read that crap because I want to laugh when her and her douchebag boyfriend split up. Yeah, that's some real "love" you had there. Of course, chances are she'll die of longwindedness before that happens.

Keeping you educated. Luckily, I've left her some handy tips on how to improve what is otherwise an internet black hole of pointlessness.

-Mark

MSN titles of file murder

2005-08-08T20:33:00.000-04:00

I love comparing deleting files to history's greatest tragedies.

Read:

Justin says:
i think it might be time for an mp3 culling.

Justin says:
but what tragedy to name it?

Mark - Fuck it says:
Morpandy

Justin says:
mp3 hiroshima?

Justin says:
it is the anniversary, after all

Mark - Fuck it says:
Pearl Mp3

Mark - Fuck it says:
Mp3 Harbour - the day that will live in the Recycle Bin

Justin says:
hehe

Justin says:
mp3-nam

Justin says:
operation: iraqi freedom

Mark - Fuck it says:
mp3 hiroshima would be if you delete them ALL

Justin says:
hehe, true

Mark - Fuck it says:
Irap3

Justin says:
lol

Justin says:
operation mp3-freedom?
Justin says:
im doing this to liberate hard drive space

Mark - Fuck it says:
we have some insurgency in the folder known as mp3, there's a known terrorist called All American Rejects, we've got to take him down

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
support the troops, bitches

Mark - Fuck it says:
there will be civilian causalities

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
hahahahaha

Justin --> commencing operation mp3-freedom (0MBs liberated) says:
shit, i think some of the mp4s went to hide in the caves

Mark - Fuck it says:
We're gonna smoke em out

Cause obviously, deleting mp3s is comparable to what the states did to the middle east.

-Mark

LiveJournal "friends"

2005-07-29T16:09:00.000-04:00

I'm sorry people, but if you have a LiveJournal account, you're getting slammed by me. However, the plus side is, if you have a LiveJournal account, you're probably too full of shit to read what I say, or you'll just be like "He doesn't understand what it's like to be" (at this point I've stopped listening and giving a shit).

Anyway, if you have "Friends" on your livejournal account, unless you know them in PERSON and are actually FRIENDS with them, they're not actually friends... having a bunch of internet losers that are obsessed with this cult mentality is bullshit. LiveJournal is NOT a place to claim your popularity. In fact, LiveJournal itself is almost fucking pointless, unless you're going to make fun of other idiots who have delusional visages of thinking others care about their worthless lives.

MAKE REAL FRIENDS - Internet ones don't count. You're not popular if you never leave your room. You're not popular if you don't actually know real people. Social interaction may be bullshit, but it's better than faking it.

Idiots.

-Mark

Life advice from some guy I know

2005-07-28T19:39:00.000-04:00

.....but most of you don't. Actually, probably all of you don't know him. Anyways, while talking about avoiding conversations that you don't care about, he dropped this gem:

Justin --> "you know what really grinds my gears? when you can't find the droids you're looking for!" says:
rules:
1. everybody sucks
2. everybody lies
3. nobody gives a shit

So true. Thank you, demi-god of conversational avoidance!

-Mark

Don't enroll at UWO

2005-07-25T21:57:00.000-04:00

So my fucking University cancelled the class I set my entire goddamn schedule around. I'd go on about how pissed off I am, but I think just pasting this email would more accurately describe how pissed off I am.

------
Fuckers cancelled one of my classes WITHOUT fucking notifying me. One I was enrolled in. AND IT WAS THE BEST FUCKING CLASS I HAD. Now I'm 0.5 credits short, and my schedule is FUCKED. This is fucking horseshit. I might as fucking well drop out for all I care now. Fucking University pieces of shit can fucking go and fuck themselves. They've fucking charged me for a full year and then they fucking drop a fucking course. These fucktards have no fucking soul. My schedule was pisspoor as it was first sem, now it's gonna get fucking worse. I set my fucking schedule up around this fucking course and the assholes fucking fuck me like a fucking fuckpile of fucking fuckers. I fucking hate this shithole University.

Mark
------

Yeah, I'm fucking pissed off.

-Mark

A plague that must be stopped

2005-07-25T00:11:00.000-04:00

It's time I warned the faithful readers (all three of them) of a deadly plague that is crushing the inner souls of most people under 40 - and it's called Soft Rock.

Stores will pump this crap out while the youthful people that are essentially faceless lackeys in a heartless world have to suffer this for hours and hours. Literally, this kind of non-offensive, non-talented, non-lyrically unique, pointless music that causes many University students to hate where they work is killing any creativity that could be used.

For example: Someone could have a genius idea to solve world hunger, but that idea is sucked away by the fact that the shitty "Soft Rock" that rants about loving some assbag or leaving some assbag enrages them - resulting in the genius with the idea to NOT want to help the world when all it'll turn out is that crap.

Either that, or the idea becomes lost from the mind-numbing effect that music has. I am a firm believer that this music literally kills a part of you inside, taking away what makes us human. As youthful individuals that the world endlessly says they will to become the next leaders and decision makers, why would you destroy what makes us hopeful for a non-bleak future when you hear basically one song played on repeat, sung by different people that STILL sound the same?

I hearby raise that the University and College students with any talent or hope for the future, or with an idea to progress the world, to band together and ransack any building that plays that crap.

Violence is the only solution now - we've gone beyond the stage of negioating for rationality.

STOP THE PLAGUE BEFORE IT DESTROYS THE HUMAN INSIDE YOU!

-Mark, leading the anti-soft-rock charge.

This is "news"

2005-07-17T20:08:00.000-04:00

A few links to chew around and wonder why we care.

Yeah.... um, wtf? Who's guilty about not reading history books in the summer?

You've got to be kidding me. "Oh no, my source of income will run out! I'll only have my millions of dollars to fall back on!"

Dunno what to say about this. Except: So?

Wow. If you get that pissed about an email error over a book, you need to get laid.

Desparate is right. It's a fucking book. (Yes, I'm harping on HP alot, but fuck off, people are douches).

Am I the only one tired of these stupid health news articles that shoot down something 99% have never tried and would never give a shit enough TO try? Here's the answer: Wanna live longer? Don't die young. Asshats. Sidenote: Like how they spelled "Aging" wrong in the headline?

-Mark (and yes, the picture is Carlos Mencia from his new show on Comedy Central).

Microsoft hates its own products, and me, apparently

2005-07-12T21:24:00.000-04:00

Okay, I'm not a fan of Microsoft's immeasureable evil and plague of shitty products that infect the internet and our operating systems, slowly destroying our morals, souls, and anything else that Microsoft can take from us and exploit, all the while making backdoor deals to keep us in endless pain when we operate our computers. That's the baseline that we're starting on, people. I have done many things to make my shitty OS (Windows ME, which took me 2 years to get working with minimal kinks) work well, and it's still bitchy from time to time, thanks mainly to Microsoft hating the patches and fixes other people make because they're tired of dealing with the Blue Screen of Death 400 times a day.

I've wanted to boycott Microsoft shit many times, but unfortunately I can't negate myself to 5% of the computer world, so I choose to hate (outspokenly) certain products that blow incomprehenseable chunks. Like Internet Explorer, which I ditched almost in its entirety for Firefox when IE stopped loading buttons, links, and took 400 hours to download anything, when it decided it was going to download shit, or load Quicktime, or basically even load my fucking homepage. I've dealt with everything that can go wrong in that shitty ass program, like the about:blank error, endless virus attacks, and IE's crack addiction that nearly spread to my RAM. Turns out my motherboard was the dealer. Anyway, I digress. The point was, I stopped using IE for Firefox.

However, I'm binded by the horrors that is MSN Messenger. I'd use AIM (I have AIM, but I'm not on it frequently) instead, but switching from Microsoft to AOL is like slicing your wrists with a knife instead of a razorblade. It hurts, and it's a slow bleed that you can't stop. Also, the thought of slicing my wrists makes we want to pass out, so let's move on. I also have Yahoo IM, but fuck that shit. I might as well just reload ICQ on my computer and talk to absolutely nobody, because nobody uses useless shit programs that nobody else is ever on. It pains me to say this, but sadly, MSN Messenger is the best chatting program out there as of right now. But that's like finding a penny in a pile of horseshit after searching for hours - it's not something you go and tell your friends about.

Well, as I eventually get to my point, I was using MSN 7.0.0777, whatever the fuck that version that is. There's a new one out, 7.0.0813 and 7.0.0816, which after much procrastinating, I finally decided to take a stab at. I'd patched 0777 to my liking, which meant MSN Messenger without any trace of MSN. Well, it updated..... kind of. After telling me I needed IE 6.0, which I already had (solely for the purpose of having 0777), I tried running some other patches and programs to get around the fact that Microsoft apparently refuses to recognize it's own sister programs on the same computer. I got a "we've added all our useless shit you'll never use" updated 7.0.0813, and I promptly tried to patch it. However, the patch I was using was meant for 7.0.0816, so I either had to live with the useless added shit 7.0.0813 or find 0816, which I set off to do. I found 0816 on MSN.com (link removed because I hate Microsoft and would never encourage anyone to go there), and Dled it. Tried to install it and got a nice "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message. This seemed to be more persistant than the other, so I decided I'd simply return to 0777 and live with the patch I had that I knew worked. After all, I wasn't having any problems with it.

WELL, Microsoft then apparently turned it's hate on itself, giving me the "You can't do that because you Don't have IE 6.0" message, even though I'd already used 0777 on my computer, as recently as 5 minutes before trying to update. Well I then made the mistake of uninstalling MSN altogether and trying to start over. No dice, same message. So I decided to try and update to 6.0........again. That didn't take either.

By now, my blood had risen a few degrees in temperature. I had experienced Microsoft pointlessly not updating it's own products and demanding to update to them endlessly, but I got pissed and COMPLETELY DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. This was a small moral victory for me, as I was not sad to see it leave my computer. However, it was short lived as I need MSN to contact all my people (I don't own a cell phone, because I also hate phones.... but soon I will be forced to own one, if I ever want to escape this place and live free), etc etc etc. So I tried getting 6.0 from scratch. No dice. 400 restarts later, I once again DELETED INTERNET EXPLORER. (It feels so good to write that). After pissing around, exchanging punches with my keyboard (which I'm surprised is still working.... I beat on this mother like nothing else, and it just keeps working. Gotta love it), this is how I got back to where I fucking started:

1: Tried installing an old messenger version (6.2)
2: That took, but then it turns out Microsoft doesn't want people using their products to actually get anywhere, so they wouldn't let me sign in without updating.
3: Deleted MSN 6.2
4: Found an old version of IE (5.5)
5: Installed IE 5.5
6: Attempted to update to 6.0, which for some reason actually happened this time.
7: Downloaded 7.0.0777, and installed it.
8: Saw all the useless shit, ran messpatch and cleaned it up.

That took about 15 minutes. All in all, I wasted about an hour and a half getting absolutely fucking nowhere. So after all my annoyances with MSN, it seems it has bested me until I lose my mind and firebomb MSN corporate offices (see: Newspaper headline August 2006: Crazed University Student Frees Humanity from Microsoft's Oppression, Gets 4 hookers to celebrate), but I have since decided this:

I'm never updating microsoft products again until I ABSOLUTELY have to (eg: It stops working because it's too old (a la 6.2)), or until I get a new computer. Which will never happen, because I love Sexlexia, even though it's an abusive relationship.

In summation: Microsoft blows, send them letters filled with locusts or semen or something else unpleasant.

-Mark

Sellouts

2005-07-11T16:05:00.000-04:00

So I went and saw War of the Worlds last week, and I was actually fairly impressed with it. The story wasn't all that different, although there was some key changes about the invasion of aliens that was cool. However, it's come to my attention that Steven Speilberg has no fucking CLUE how to end a movie.

Sure, there was things I loved in the movie - like the lasers that turned people into dust, and the scene where it was raining clothes. Gold. And the special effects were very well done, but then it's like he just didn't know how to end the movie, or how shitty human warfare would defeat an obviously superior force..... so he shat himself and decided that they just "died". He tried to throw together a nonsensical explanation a la Morgan Freeman's narration, which actually had the word "micro" in it, which either meant the aliens died via bacteria, or that humans were micro and won via the aliens "forgetting" to turn on their shields or some other nonsensical bullshit.

And that fucking kid DIED. You can't just have him run into an explosion, disappear for the rest of the movie and have him randomly appear at the end alive and fine and there before the main character and his daughter. He's DEAD... half the fucking army he ran after died, but he survived with no protective clothing (not that it would have helped anyway), no weapons, and no transportation? Bullshit, he's dead.

Steven Spielberg can make good movies (Jaws, but that was 30 years ago), but when you forget how to end a movie or end it without a climax, it really ruins the whole thing.

I'd rate the movie in stars, but fuck that shit - watch it yourself, nobody gives a shit what I rate the movie out of. I still recommend watching it, just be prepared to be pissed at the end of it.

-Mark

Underage drinking is not a problem

2005-06-28T17:31:00.000-04:00

Underaged drinking is not a problem, people. If a minor or an 18 year old wants to get into clubs/bars/or just get booze, chances are they'll find a way. Fake IDs are apparently not hard to find, especially if you have an older sibling of the same gender, but I don't understand why people get so upset about this.

Yeah, some 16 year old may be trashed - yes, they don't know their own limits, and will probably do something stupid - but hell, we've ALL gone through that stage as kids. What the real concern is keeping your douchebag underagers from drinking and DRIVING. That's a far more serious problem. A bunch of minors drinking at some party in a basement or backyard is nothing to be pissed about, especially since usually they're just having a good time and that's that - nobody's endangered unless someone drinks too much (fuck em, lowering the population anyway). But if they get behind a wheel intoxicated they endanger far more people. Parents, if you want to control your dumbass kid, let the idiot drink, just drop them off at the party and pick them up when you damn feel like it. Whenever I'm out to get trashed, I take my bicycle or a cab. It's simple.

So next time your kid is going out and you think they're getting hammed, just fucking tell them you don't care, as long as they don't drive. Shit, there's more important things in the world to worry about.

-Mark

This is just stupid

2005-06-23T15:55:00.000-04:00

Now it's been awhile since I blogged, but I've been a strangely good mood (also known as an ego trip) for the last few weeks. However, it couldn't last forever until the media buggered it. This article states that some 80 year old KKK member just got sentenced to 3 consecutive 20 year sentences for manslaughter committed back in 1960.

This just seems redundant and pointless to me. Let's say for example, he manages to live through one of his 20 year sentences - he's now 100 and fucking useless to everyone, but there's not a goddamn chance in HELL he's living to 140 years old to survive his sentence.

Now I'm definitely not an advocate for capital punishment (It depends on the crime, in my opinion), but sending an 80 year old to prison for 60 years is obviously a waste of taxpayers money. Why not just either hire one guy to watch over him or have him under house arrest? It's not like he's capable of doing anything anymore. Or hell, just kill the old bastard. It's not like he gave a damn while being a racist prick in the 60's.

-Mark

Open your ears, jackass

2005-06-08T14:20:00.000-04:00

I'm back after another week-long delay. I've been playing alot of baseball which makes my blogging schedule inconsistent. If you don't like it, eat me, or send me money and I'll post more often.

Anyways, now I'm back ranting about people who DON'T GODDAMN LISTEN. I'm not referring to people who PURPOSELY don't listen, like for example: Person X is talking to Person Y about something pointless, and aren't getting the hint about shutting up. Person Y responds with "Yeah", "Okay", "Uh huh", "Yup", Any varition of 'yes', or my personal favourite, "Oh yeah, well, you gotta!"

I'm not talking about that. Although Person X should get the hint we don't care.

I'm talking about when someone is giving you USEFUL information about something you MAY or ARE interested in, like a time of an event, news that effects them, or something else. Having no life, I wouldn't know what people are interested in. But once again, today I go to watch the Blue Jays game, to which I see the TV which is ALWAYS on and my family is ALWAYS watching something (I hardly watch TV.. somewhere along the lines of 0 hours a week, except for baseball maybe once a week if I'm around). I know my family likes the Blue Jays, so I go to them and INFORM them with the following transcript:

Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "The Jays Game is on in 20 minutes."
Them: "What?"
Me: "THE GAME IS ON IN 20 MINUTES."

At this point I just walked away - I'm not wasting my breath again. And it's not like they couldn't hear me the first three times, since I was maybe 10 feet away. I could give up one, since they have the TV loud enough to vibrate the damn floor (On The Report on Business Channel, no less... which I have been informed they don't even LISTEN to, they read the ticker at the bottom..... WHY DO YOU NEED SOUND THEN??), but if you're not going to listen, then fuck if I'm going to repeat it. Normally when I leave my room it's either to: Get food, Leave the House, or Go the Bathroom. So if I'm actually going to SAY something it's usually relevant.

And granted I don't particularly speak clearly, but I blame that on my English heritage. Have you ever heard those people talk? I was doomed from the start (and no, I don't have an accent - only one in my family without it). But jebus, it's not that hard to hear something when you're doing ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ALL DAY.

Another thing I hate that's related. When they say "What?" then when you repeat it, they friggin cut you off half way through! Screw you, if you don't care, don't ask for me to repeat it! Or when they ask me a stupid assed question and criticize me when I give a short, consice answer (sorry for being effecient, jackass). If my day was "uneventful", then that means NOTHING NOTEWORTHY HAPPENED. I'm not going to say "Well at lunch I went to the lunch room and open the wrapper of my hamburger, which was wrapped 4 times over, and I had the toppings of blah blah blah." Why? Cause it's not NOTEWORTHY.

Also while I'm at it, I friggin HATE it people start pressuring me to do things in my life. If I'm faced with a situation outside of the "nucleus" of this family that I'm really not part of, they start ENDLESSLY giving me HORRIFIC advice over what to do. I've had situations where someone borrowed something from me and I needed it back by a certain date, which didn't happen, so they start telling me to call, and call, and do this, do that, until finally I get the "gem" of advice about contacting my professor (it was a class book) about why this person has my book and how I can't get it back. So let me get this straight: Being a whiney bitch to my prof about my FRIEND not getting my book back (which I did, in time for the exam too), will solve ANYTHING. What stupid horseshit.. why do I live with idiots?

-Mark

You'd think so, wouldn't you.

2005-05-30T16:20:00.000-04:00

Okay, after a week-long delay + 3 days for my drinking binge (I turned 20 on May 28), I have returned! Missed me? Of course not.

So I've got this Audio Visual job for the Canadian Congress of Humanities and Social Sciences. The Congress is some 10 day thing they're holding on my University campus where people present REALLY boring shit (I had to sit in one of the conferences to make sure the machine was working fine and the presenter was talking about FONTS for an hour... FONTS??? COME ON!!! Who gives a shit where Times New Roman came from?) Anyway, there's 24 man staff of A/V techies (myself being one of them) and we're posted in some of the buildings and have to hook stuff up for the delegates if they booked things like computers, video projectors, etc etc. It's really the easiest job I've ever had.. I worked from 7-3 today and After 10:15 I literally did nothing. In fact, I fell asleep for awhile).

Anyways, while I can't complain about that, what I WILL complain about is the bus passes. All of the delegates get a complimentary bus pass for the all routes for the 10 days, but the friggin' employees don't. Come ON, we WORK for you, you can't spring to give us the damn passes? I have to get up at 5:30 AM for this job, and at that point I'm far too incoherent to find 2.50 for the bus, or 5 bucks if I don't feel like walking home (which I don't, ever.. too far). Hell, it's a miracle I remember to wear pants before walking out the door. So why not give us a damn bus pass? It's not like the University doesn't have mad stacks of cash already, since they are a campus of 40K students and they only need about 2K to break even each year... but they can give these damn delegates a bus pass? Horseshit! I have to get to work, and apart from eating all your food while I'm there, I don't wanna spend money (I actually just take the food, since it's on tables everywhere).

Luckily for me, I know a guy who knows a guy (who thought I'd ever use that phrase?) and he was handing out the bus passes, so I got one. Take THAT, whoever decided against giving staff bus passes!

-Mark.

Do You Realize?

2005-05-21T15:03:00.000-04:00

Y'know what really pisses me off? People with douchebag MSN names. I can understand people bitching about something that happened in their life (and putting like "person X is a douchetard") or being frustrated at something and going off in caps-locked swearing fests... I'm not talking about that, those are great. I'm also not talking about how people will put amusing quotes or just their name, those are sensical and sometimes comical.

I'm talking about the douches that put shit like "I love my idiotic boyfriend/girlfriend/famous person/band/barbeque grill/etc". Nobody gives a shit who you love or why, don't clutter up my precious MSN viewage with crap I don't care about. Obviously the world should bow down to my every demands anyway, so stop this plague of caring and affection for inaminate objects already.

Moving along. I also hate when people put song lyrics in their name - jebus, I've done it one or two times but at least my lyrics made absolutely no sense. Course, I even hated my own lack of originality when I did it. But seriously. I don't want to read some shit that NOBODY understands... And if I'm being contradictory, it's because you're too stupid to see my minute difference.

Bottom line: When you use MSN, don't give me something heartwarming unless I actually care about you (and I care about so few people), don't give me song lyrics because I'll block you, and HAVE AN INTERESTING OR AMUSING NAME!!!

Jackasses.

-Mark

Life sucks

2005-05-15T18:31:00.000-04:00

Just in case you forgot.

-Mark

Myspace = electronic garbage

2005-05-09T15:52:00.000-04:00

So I'm back with yet another rant from hell. This time, I will break down the "phenom" that is MSN Myspace.

What the hell is up with everyone "wanting" or "needing" to get a "myspace" so they can tell all their idiot friends about their crappy lives and their mundane, megar, useless daily activities ("well today I got up and had a piece of toast"... so what?). Even if they say anything mildly interesting, don't show me pictures of you doing nothing. I'll get back to this in a moment.

However, I'd probably hate Myspace less if it wasn't affiliated with Microsoft. MSN/Microsoft has a knack for turning everything they create into a buggy POS, and failing that, something destructively monopolizing or child-killingly evil. Now yes this is hypocritical of me since I use Windows ME, possibly the worst system Microsoft has ever created, but I've learned it's throws and with the helpful patches from people who also hate but won't update, and some technical lerndening (I spelt that wrong on purpose), I've actually got this bitch running smoothly. Anyway, Microsoft's "let's ID with the teens and youthful money-irresponsible idiots" Myspace is just yet another attempt to create a monopoly, of..free..space. Hey, I don't have to explain my unfounded hatred and irrational disgust with MSN. It's bad enough I use their Messenger because it's the "best" instant messaging program, but once again, I patched the hell out of it to destroy any traces of Microsoft "helpfulness" (the search bar, ads, logos, stupid winks and nudges... GONE).

Anyways, in short: Myspace sucks, don't be a fanboy/fangirl and waste my ocular superiority by having me read your crap.

-Mark

Odd...

2005-05-07T14:40:00.000-04:00

Now this is kind of off topic from my usual rants, but do you ever get in a ridiculously foul mood where you hate everything and are on the brink of snapping and killing everyone you know in a violent bloodlust when something totally random just catches you off guard?

It happened to me this morning. I couldn't sleep, so I ended up getting 3 hours all night.. well I was taking a vitamin in the morning, opened the medicine cabinet, and found.... amongst the clutter, an empty Dr. Pepper can. Not at the front, either.. it was mixed in the middle. Apparently in my sleep deprivated state sometime last night I must have drank one, and put it in there for some reason.. but I don't remember doing it or why it was there.

Needless to say, it really threw me off and was quite odd.

-Mark, a bit perplexed

Rage Against the Stupidity

2005-05-03T20:07:00.000-04:00

Back to harping all over Peter's refute of my point about the NDP's being bags of douches. Specifically, Layton.

Okay, so I'll start this blog out by admitting I was in fact, wrong about the NDP governing control. They have two positions of power in Manitoba and some other province.

Now, to point out Peter's bullshit. You know damn well that if the roles were reversed and the Conservatives were the smaller opposition, you'd throw up how the Conservatives wouldn't be able to change from their "mistake" of the early 90's in Ontario. (Which the NDP f**ked up). Does Layton want this government to work? Probably, but he'd be a hell of a lot happier if the Liberals sided with him. If it was a Conservative minority, Layton would definitely vote against "ONE" mistake.

Why should the public let 2 BILLION dollars slide? One mistake by the Liberals? Bullshit! Gun scandal, Sponsorship scandal, piss-poor management of funds, Paul Martin was the goddamn MINISTER OF FINANCE when Cretien was in power and he let this shit slide. Now he's the damn PM, that's a massive "X" to put beside his name.

But Layton only has one reason for wanting this government to work "together". First of all, if the Liberals bugger themselves over, over an ISSUE of MONEY SPENDING, something the NDPs are notorius for doing freely, while the Conservatives are typically tightass about that, chances are the public will go for the Conservative government. Layton wants the Liberals to stay in power because he has the most leeway with them. If the Liberals go down, Layton rides that train to hell with them. When the most power you have is 24-ish seats (I'd figure it out, but it's definitely no more then that.. possibly less), obviously you realize that if your opposite spectrum party could get MAJORITY control, you're buggered if you don't throw your support behind the controlling party.

Do I think Harper would do a good job? Hell no, the Conservatives would do a piss-poor job. Eves and Harris ruined the Conserve's for me with their idiotic amalgamation BS of the mid-90's. Martin sucks at being PM, that's for damn sure. Layton I am confident would ruin this country with his moronic spending habits that his party is KNOWN for and HAVEN'T changed over since the damn of the party. That leaves the Green party. Here's hoping they score a seat in the next election, so at parties start freaking out realizing that people are starting to hate the big 3.

Refute that!!

-Mark

How I feel

2005-04-29T11:09:00.000-04:00

And it's how you all feel too when you're the nice guy that gets SCREWED. Click.

I didn't get screwed, I guess, but sometimes when you put effort into things and end up with nothing, this is how I feel.

-Mark

Time to argue

2005-04-27T23:30:00.000-04:00

Oho, finally, a blog WORTH posting about. Actually it's my friend's (Peter's Randomness) blog, but finally something we can argue on (although we basically argue about everything - a consistent friendship is good to have). In his blog post in the link, which is viewable by clicking here, he rants about how Steven Harper can't identify with the Eastern Canadian vote and why Jack Layton is some sort of god.

Course, he's wrong. I'm not a fan of Harper nor will I vote for the douchebag, so we'll get this out of the way already. I'm actually what I call a "vote thrower", someone who will likely always vote for a party that has no chance to win - it's my right to vote, and I will excercise that right by going out and throwing my vote away since every party in the history of time sucks. I just hate hearing "if you don't vote you can't complain", well shut the fuck up, that's what I'm going to do. Anyways, back on topic.

Layton's a moron. In fact, all NDP party members are. We'll review the last time the NDP got in power (since they've never even been the official opposition party federally, I'm going to provincial levels). Bob Rae had a minority government in Ontario back in the late 80's early 90's (sometime around then), and he completely fucked up the province by going spend-crazy. After he blew all of the money the province had on idiotic programs (that failed, btw), he then issued a MANDATORY, UNPAID day off once per month. Anyone struggling to get by was hence further screwed. When you make minimum wage or can barely get by, losing a day of work could be your end. Multiply that by 12, and you've lost nearly 300-500 dollars a year. And you're going to let a government with that kind of money problems into power FEDERALLY? Don't give me that minority gov't BS, cause Rae had a minority gov't and still pulled this shit.

Now Harper's problem with Eastern votes. If you look at the Conservatives' past, they haven't ever really got much Eastern support. You could easily spin that around on Layton's NDP and say they don't reach out to the Western Canadians, which has always been a fragile region since the Confederation. Quebec's got its own problems with the Bloc being insane seperatists (remember the Referendum, and how Quebec wanted to be independent but still keep our currency and all that crap? Yeah, um, not happening). While that fisselled briefly under Cretien, Martin's crapulence lead them back up. Still, they aren't the Official Opposition, so they get a big pile of shut up and a bag of "if you leave you're more fucked then if you stay" to take home. Canada's always bent over backwards for the French-Canadians, and they routinely complain (the politicians, at least).

Are the Liberals any better? Hell no. But let's at least wait until the commish finishes their investigation. All I'm hoping from the inevitable election is that the Green party gains more power, and hopefully at least one seat.

That is all. Refute away, Peter.

-Mark

Comedy through manipulation

2005-04-23T03:05:00.000-04:00

So, in my ever sarcastic asshole-ish ways, I get back from two brutal exams (one where I wrote 20 pages in 3 hours. That was sick.) and go on to my occasional chat place when I have nothing better to do (Flash Flash Revolution - not what it seems). Of course, I've been carousing on that site for the better half of two years so the regulars know who I am. Usually I'm on my webcam, but this night I decided to go against showing people my glorius self.

Course, within two minutes, I've got a bunch of horny idiots asking me if I'm a girl. I don't know how you take the SN "Jazzmosis" and assume it's a girl, but I was pissed, so I decided to fuck with their minds. I called myself a 20/f/Canada (the only difference being that I'm male), and that my camera was "broken", hence why I couldn't show them who I was. This is how easy it is to get idiotic guys to tell you inner secrets. They asked what I looked like, so I googled some random picture of a girl who looks about 20. (Girl's picture: Here). Course I got a flood of compliments, so I began to act like a chick (overuse of emoticons, telling these ass-bags I thought they were sweet when they said "ur hot" and acting like I was "turned on" when they said "I wanna fuck you so bad right now". Apparently all it takes is a random lie about a girl masturbating three times in one day and these morons are ready to jerk to every word you put in front of them. While acting like I was impressed while assbag #1 lied about his age (started at 21, went to 17 by the end) and his apparent size (8"... sure), I acted like the girl every pathetic loser that goes to a video chat looking to pick up chicks that are way out of their league could ever dream of. I was, of course, single, horny, had the perfect body (I called myself with a C cup and 105 pounds), and I got "hot" when a guy told me he was jerking to that apparent picture of the "girl of his dreams" while in reality he was actually talking to a 20 year old male that was laughing at him and spreading all the stupid shit around to his friends at the same time so we could all laugh. By the end of it, we had about the entire chat in on this prank... but here's where it gets better. The idiot "wanted to stay in touch", but since I didn't have "MSN" I gave him my AOL (making up a lie about why my name was masculine - because I was a hot chick that loved sports, thus had the name "Jays" in it (I'm a Blue Jay fan, so that's at least justified). But he wanted to hear my voice, so he GAVE ME HIS NUMBER.

What the hell is wrong with today's youth? All it takes to be a stalker is a googled picture of some girl and a ton of lies about how you get turned on by pathetic losers in a chat?

In closing, while I laughed endlessly with everyone else about how losery this guy was (my name was "Kate" in the chat, if you're wondering), I have to apologize to the girl who's picture I ripped off.. some loser will be jerking to you for awhile imagining the words a 20/m said, posing as you. Still, I apologize only to the point where I'd still go back and do it again just to laugh at him. So really, it's your fault for putting your picture on the internet. Should have known that eventually, a jackass like me would randomly find it and use your face as an object to laugh. Hey, at least your face is funny, right?

-Mark, aka "Kate"

There's only two emotions we need

2005-04-19T22:28:00.000-04:00

Let's face it: Happiness is only a cover-up for the pain we all feel. Humans are so caught up in what happened to them that makes us sad that we become obsessed with it. Good, most of the idiots deserve to feel sad - let's face it, as humanity goes on, we've proved how useless and destructive we really are. What DO we have to be happy about?

Here's the problem: We have this "spectrum" of human emotion (thank you, Donnie Darko: You can't just lump things into two categories and deny everything else - life isn't that simple!) that screws with how we act and think. Not that rational thought is a good thing, we usually screw ourselves more (which is sometimes amusing). Anyways, I say abandon the "positive" emotions like happiness, love, caring, kindness - bah, those are useless. We only need these:

1: Anger. When we're angry we don't think straight but we show who we really are - selfish pricks that would throw a homeless man in front of an old lady crossing the street just so they'd both get hit by the car that's running the red light. Anger fuels our desire to say to our friends that they're idiots and we'd rip out their hearts and drink the blood of their children if we had the chance. Anger lowers the human population numbers, and that's a good thing. The last thing we need is more of our idiot kind running around.

2: Pain. Not physical pain, that deep, emotional pain that takes years to heal and causes people to become paranoid shizophrenics that murder buses filled with innocent schoolchildren or firebomb senior citizen's homes. This always leads to public anger, which leads to bad blood.. ah, glorius.

And although it's not an emotion, this is key to humanity: Sarcasm.

Mark